Sanctuary for the Abused

Sunday, October 10, 2004



ADULT CHILDREN OF NARCISSISTS BOOK LIST

Goodbye Mother, Hello Woman: Reweaving the Daughter Mother Relationship
- Marilyn Irwin Boynton & Mary Dell, 1995

Boundaries and Relationships: Knowing, Protecting, and Enjoying the Self
- Charlses L. Whitfield, 1993

Men Who Hate Women & the Women Who Love Them
- Jan Torres & Susan Forward, 1987

Recommended books for those recovering from Narcissistic Abuse ---------------------------------------------------------
Narcissism & Abusive Parents
------------------------
* People of the Lie: The Hope for Healing Human Evil
- M. Scott Peck, 1981

* Trapped in the Mirror: Adult Children of Narcissists in Their Struggle for Self
- Elan Golomb, Ph.D., 1992

* Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder
- Paul T. Mason, M.S. & Randi Kreger, 1998

* Narcissism,: Denial of the True Self - Alexander Lowen, M.D.,1985

*Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grownup's Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents
- Nina W. Brown

Lost in the Mirror: An Inside Look at Borderline Personality Disorder - Richard A.
Moskovitz, 1996

The Narcissistic Family: Diagnosis & Treatment
- Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman

Through the Looking Glass: Women & Borderline Personality Disorders
- Dana Becker, 1997

* Understanding the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship
- Christin Ann Lawson

Adult Children of Abusive Parents: A Healing Program for those Who have Been Physically, Sexually, or Emotionally Abused
- Steven Farmer,M.A.,M.F.C.C., 1989

* If You Had Controlling Parents: How to Make Peace with Your Past and Take Your Place in the World
- Dan Neuharth, Ph.D., 1998

Coping with Your Difficult Older Parent: A Guide for Stressed-Out Children
- Grace Lebow & Barbara Kane with Irwin Lebow, 1999

* Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life
- Dr. Susan Forward with Craig Buck

When Parents Love Too Much: What Happens When Parents Won't Let Go
- Laurie Ashner & Mitch Meyerson, 1990

Problems With Parents
-------------------
The Woman Who Gave Birth to Her Mother: Seven Stages of Chance in Women's Lives
- Kim Chernin, 1998

* For Mothers of Difficult Daughters: How to Enrich and Repair the Bond in Adulthood
- Dr. Charney Herst with Lynette Padwa, 1998

* When You and Your Mother Can't Be Friends: Resolving the Most Complicated Relationship of Your Life
- Victoria Secunda,1990

Mothers Who Drive Their Daughters Crazy: Ten Types of 'Impossible' Moms and How to Deal With Them
- Edward M. Cohen, Susan Simon Cohen, Ed Cohen, 1997

Goodbye Mother, Hello Woman: Reweaving the Daughter Mother Relationship
- Marilyn Irwin Boynton & Mary Dell, 1995

Mending the Broken Bough: Restoring the Promise of the Mother-Daughter Relationship
- Barbara Zax, Stephan Poulter, 1998

How to Manage Your Mother: Skills & Strategies to Improve Mother-Daughter Relationships
- Arlene M. Matthews & Nancy W. Cocola, 1993

Mama Drama: Making Peace With the One Woman Who Can Push Your Buttons, Make You
Cry, & Drive You Crazy
- Leslie Ayvazian, 1999

Good Bye Mother, Hello Woman: Reweaving the Daughter-Mother Relationship
- Marilyn I. Boynton & Mary Dell, 1995

My Mother, My Self: The Daughter's Search for Identity
- Nancy Friday,1977


* Women & Their Fathers: The Sexual & Romantic Impact of the First Man in Your Life
- Victoria Secuanda, 1992

Fathers & Daughters
- William S, Appleton, M.D., 1981

Where were you When I Needed You, Dad?: A Guide for Healing Your Father Wound
- Jane M. Drew, 1992

You Can't Grow Up Till You Go Back Home: A Safe Journey to See Your Parents as Human
- William F. Nerin, 1993


* Divorcing a Parent: A sympathetic and practical guide for adult children who need to free themselves from an abusive relationship with a parent
- Beverly Engel, M.F.C.C.,1990

Cutting Loose: An Adult Guide to Coming to Terms with Your Parents
- Howard M. Halpern, Ph.D., 1976


Boundaries, Setting Limits
----------------------
* Boundaries: When to Say YES, When to Say NO, to Take Control of Your Life
- Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend, 1982

Boundaries Workbook - same as above

Boundaries and Relationships: Knowing, Protecting, and Enjoying the Self
- Charles L. Whitfield, 1993


* Co-Dependent, No More: How to Stop Controlling Others & Start Caring for Yourself
- Melody Beattie, 1989

* Beyond Co-Dependency: And Getting Better All the Time
- Melody Beattie, 1991

Playing it by Heart: Taking Care of Yourself No Matter What
- Melody Beattie, 1999

An Adult Child's Guide to What's "Normal"
- John Friel, Ph.D. & Linda Friel, M.A., 1990

Adult Children: The Secrets of Dysfunctional Families - same as above

Drama Games: Techniques for Self-development
- Tina Dayton, 1990

Never Be Lied to Again: How to Get the Truth in 5 Minutes or Less in Any Conversation or Situation
- David J. Lieberman, Ph.D., 1998

What Smart Women Know: Wisdom for the Thinking Woman
- Steven Carter & Julia Sokol, 1990

Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ
- Daniel Goleman, 1995


Dealing With Abusive Relationships
-----------------------------
The Betrayal Bond: Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships
- Patrick J. Carnes, Ph.D., 1997 (RECOMMENDED)

In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People
- George K. Simon, Jr., Ph.D.,1996

* Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You
- Susan Forward, Ph.D. with Donna Frazier, 1997

* Lethal Lovers and Poisonous People: How to Protect Your Health From Relationships That Make You Sick,
1992

* Toxic People: 10 Ways of Dealing With People Who Make Your Life Miserable
- Lillian Glass, Ph.D.,

* The Emotional Rape Syndrome: How to Survive and Avoid It!
- Michael Fox, Ph.D., (HIGHLY RECOMMENDED)

Control Freaks: Who They Are and How to Stop Them From Running Your Life
- Gerald W. Piaget, Ph.D.1991

The Emotionally Abused Woman: Overcoming Destructive Patterns & Reclaiming Yourself
- Beverly Engel, 1992 (RECOMMENDED)

Stalking the Soul: Emotional Abuse and the Erosion of Identity
- Helen Marx, Thomas Moore, Marie-France Hirigoyen, 2000 (HIGHLY RECOMMENDED)

Coping with Difficult People: ...In Business and in Life
- Robert M. Bramson, Ph.D., 1981

When Your Lover is a Liar: Healing the Wounds of Deception & Betrayal
- Susan Forward, 1999

Men Who Hate Women & the Women Who Love Them
- Jan Torres & Susan Forward, 1987

Ditch That Jerk: Dealing With Men Who Control and Hurt Women
- Pamela Jayne, 2000

Nasty Men: How to Stop Being Hurt by Them Without Stooping to Their Level
- Jay Carter, Dan Hochstatter, 1993

Without Conscience: The Disturbing World of the Psychopaths Among Us
- Dr. Robert D. Hare, 1993 (HIGHLY RECOMMENDED)


Dealing With Verbal Abuse
----------------------
* The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize It and How to Respond
- Patricia Evans, 1992,96

Verbal Abuse Survivors Speak Out: On relationship and Recovery
- Patricia Evans, 1993

The Secret of Overcoming Verbal Abuse: Getting Off the Emotional Roller Coaster and Regaining Control of Your Life
- Albert Ellis Ph.D., Marcia Grad Powers, Albert Ellis, 2000

Tongue Fu: How to Deflect, Disarm, and Defuse Any Verbal Conflict
- Sam Horn, 1996

The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense
- Suzette Haden Elgin, 1980

Speaking Your Mind in 101 Difficult Situations
- Don Gabor


Family Dynamics, Inner Child, & Growth
--------------------------------
* The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self (orig. Prisoners of Childhood)
- Alice Miller,1981 (HIGHLY RECOMMENDED)

For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Childrearing and the Roots of Violence
- Alice Miller, 1983,84,89

Thou Shalt Not Be Aware: Society's Betrayal of the Child
- Alice Miller, 1984,86

* The Only Child: Being One, Loving One, Understanding One, Raising One
- Darrell Sifford, 1990

* A Child Called "It": One Child's Courage to Survive
- Dave Pelzer,1995

Scapegoating in Families: Intergenerational Patterns of Physical & Emotional Abuse (hard to find)
- Vimala Pillari, D.S.W., 1991

Recognizing & Healing the Family Scapegoat: Avoid Carrying Childhood Roles Into Adulthood
- Sharon A. Smith, 1995

Black Sheep and Kissing Cousins: How Our Family Stories Shape Us
- Elizabeth Stone, 1989

Family Myths: Living Our Roles, Betraying Ourselves
- Joyce Block, 1994

The Secret Life of Families: Truth-Telling, Privacy, and Reconciliation in a Tell-All Sociaty
- Evan Imber-Black, Ph.D., 1998

Family Secrets: What You Don't Know CAN Hurt You
- John Bradshaw, 1995

Adult Children: Secrets of Dysfunctional Families
- John C. Friel, John Friel, & Linda Friel, 1988

Intimate Violence: The Causes & Consequences of Abuse in the American Family
- Murray A. Straus & Richard J. Gelles, 1989

Intimate Worlds: Life Inside the Family
- Maggie Scarf, 1995,97,99

* Homecoming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child
- John Bradshaw, 1990

Unlocking the Secrets of your Childhood Memories
- Dr. Kevin Leman & Randy Carlson, 1989

How to be Your Own Best Friend
- Mildred Newman & Bernard Derkowitz with Jean Owen, 1971

Making Peace with Yourself: Turning Your Weaknesses Into Strengths
- Harold H. Bloomfield, M.D. with Leonard Felder Ph.D., 1985

Necessary Losses: The Loves, Illusions, Dependencies and Impossible Expectations That
All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Grow
- Judith Viorst,1986

Unfinished Business: Pressure Points in the Lives of Women (on women & depression)
- Maggie Scarf,1980

I Ain't Well - But I Sure Am Better: Mutual Need Therapy -
Jess Lair, Ph.D., 1975

Emotional Clearing: A Self-Therapy Guide to Releasing Negative Feelings
- John Ruskan, 1993

You Can Heal Your Life - Louise L. Hay, 1987


Misc. Related Dysfunctional Problems
-------------------------------
* The Courage to Heal & Workbook: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse
- Ellen Bass & Laura Davis, 1988,93,94

Imperfect Control: Our Lifelong Struggles with Power and Surrender
- Judith Viorst,

The Culture of Shame: Understanding & Easing Shame
- Andrew P, Morrison,1996

Dysinhibition Syndrome: How to Handle Anger & Rage in Your Child or Spouse
- Rose Wood,1999

* Money Demons: Keep Them From Sabotaging Your Relationships - and Your Life
- Dr. Susan Forward & Craig Buck,1994

* Shadow Syndromes: Recoginizing and Coping with the Hidden Psychological Disorders That Can Influence Your Behavior and Silently Determine the Course of Your Life
- John J. Ratey, M.D. & Catherine Johnson, Ph.D., 1997

The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You
- Elaine N. Aron, 1996

Soul Murder: The effects of chilhood abuse and deprivation
- Leonard Shengold, M.D., 1989

* The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us From Violence
- Gavin DeBecker, 1997 (RECOMMENDED)

* Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples
- Harville Hendrix,Ph.D., 1990

Happiness Is A Serious Problem: A Human Nature Repair Manual
- Dennis Prager, 1998

The Dance of Anger: Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships
- Harriet G. Lerner, 1997

The Dance of Deception: Pretending & Truth-Telling in Women's Lives
- Harriet G. Lerner, 1997

The Dance of Intimacy: A Woman's Guide to Courageous Acts of Change in Key Relationships
- Harriet G. Lerner, 1997


Spiritual Effects & Help
-------------------
* Finding Your Way Home: A Soul Survivor Kit
- Melody Beattie, 1998

Journey to the Heart: Daily Meditations on the Path to Freeing Your Soul
- Melody Beattie, 1996

Stop Being Mean to Yourself: A Story About Finding th True Meaning of Self-Love
- Melody Beattie, 1998

The Language of Letting Go: Dailey Meditations for Co-Dependents
- Melody Beattie, 1996

Legacy of the Heart: The Spiritual Advantages of a Painful Childhood
- Wayne Muller,1992

* Care of the Soul: A Guide for Cultivating Depth & Sacredness in Everyday Life
- Thomas Moore,1992

* Subversive Thoughts, Authentic Passions: Finding Love Without Losing Your Self
- Bonnie Kreps, 1990

* Spiritual Literacy: Reading the Sacred in Everyday Life
- Frederic & Mary Ann Brussat, 1996

A Life of My Own: Meditiations on Hope and Acceptance
- Hazelden Foundation, 1993

Gentle Reminders: Daily Affirmations for Co-Dependents
- Mitzi Chandler,1989

How Good Do We Have to Be?: A New Understanding of Guilt and Forgiveness
- Harold S. Kushner, 1996

* Living Without a Goal: Finding the Freedom to Live a Creative and Innovative Life
- James Ogilvy, 1995

* The Seat of the Soul
- Gary Zukov,1990

* Creative Visualization
- Shakti Gawain (very useful on audio version)

Staying Well with Guided Imagery: How to Harness the Power of Your Imagination for Health and Healing
- Bellfruth Naparstek, 1994

The Healing Power of Dreams
- Patricia Garfield, 1992

* Quest: A Guide for Creating Your Own Vision Quest
- Denise Linn

Writing as a Road to Self-Discovery: How to Reach Within Yourself to Find the Questions & Stories that Help You Understand
- Barry Lane, 1993, 97

Women Who Run With the Wolves: Myths & Stories of Wild Woman Archetypes,
- Clairissa Pinkola Estes, 1997

The Artist's Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity
- Julia Cameron & Mark Bryan, 1992

Animals as Teachers & Healers
- Susan C. McElroy, Susan Chernak - 1998

And the Animals Will Teach You
- Margot Lasher - 1996


Misc. Relationships
----------------
Scapegoats: Transferring Blame
- Tom Douglas, 1995

True Colors
- Roger Birkman, Ph.D.1995
Please Understand Me: Character & Temperament Types
- David Keirsey & Marilyn Bates, 1978, 84


Novels about Narcissists
-------------------
* White Oleander (Oprah book)
- Janet Fitch, 1999:

I Look Divine
- Christopher Coe, 1987
===========================================================

Recommended Authors
-------------------
John Bradshaw
Melody Beattie
Sharon Weigschider Cruz
Harriet G. Lerner
Pia Mellody
Alice Miller
Susan Forward
Maggie Scarf
Victoria Secunda
Judith Viorst
Charles L. Whitfield

===========================================================
Websites
--------
Alice Miller is excellent! *The Drama of the Gifted Child* is about narcissism specifically. She also has a web site, http://www.alice-miller.com/

-------------------
The Alice Miller interview at this link a a great read.

http://www.omnimag.com/archives/interviews/miller.html

-------------------
http://www.naturalchild.com/

about the kinds of parenting we didn't have.

http://www.naturalchild.org/jan_hunt/crying.html
shared by Barbara at 10:23 PM


Share

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home