Sanctuary for the Abused

Friday, February 02, 2007

Signs your spouse is cheating

At the beginning of an affair hubby is feeling a little guilty (or a LOT) and appears at least on the outside to be more attentive.

As the affair lingers... Hubby loses his ability and desire to show you/children the attention you need.

Hubby starts to find faults in everything you do trying to justify the affair in his mind.

If it smells like a skunk... it usually is! Don't turn your back on your "GUT INSTINCTS"

Hubby usually will have a change in sex habits, wanting more or less and/or starts asking YOU for different sex acts or positions or things he knows you are uncomfortable with all of a sudden.

Being secretive about finances... Affairs cost money! Unexplained expenses. That old truck sucking gas like it is dehydrating lately? Business expenses for the out of town girlfriend? Does he want control over his expenses? or BUSINESS expenses? or to "have his own money" that you know nothing about?

Appearance will usually improve. Especially when he is away from you. Losing weight, changing colognes, growing a beard or shaving one off and buying new clothes means he is feeling good about himself and if you aren't contributing to that... someone else probably is!

Sure signs are if you are finding things like, lipstick stains, phone numbers, receipts or condoms!

If all of a sudden he is sitting on the phone waiting for that business call or you start getting a lot of hang up calls when you answer the phone.

If you still feel like you have reason to doubt your hubby,
You have two choices...

1. Ask your hubby if he is cheating. BUT only if you want to hear him say NO. If it will make you feel better (shut up that little voice inside) Because Most men will NOT admit to an affair even with hard evidence in your hand!

2. WATCH HIM!!!!!!! Do NOT let on that you suspect anything at all! Start a journal, track his mileage, look thru his closets, car and office if possible. Keep up with how long it takes him to get to and from work. Call the cellular company and ask for detailed bills.

If YOU can't get the goods then call a professional!


Do you suspect your hubby is doing the bump and grind
with the keyboard?

Look for these signs

He closes the laptop whenever you enter the room or he starts hiding windows.

He password protects his computer with the screensaver or the computer itself.

If his cyber lover is nearby he may start leaving work for "lunch" (this applies to sex addicts also - who frequent escorts or have girlfriends)

If she is far away you can watch your phone bill. But with the new era of phone cards that are cheaper than local service he may be using those. Cell phone bills as well.

Are you getting more hang up calls than you are used to? Is he whispering into the phone when he answers it or is he always just hanging up when you walk into the room?

Is he volunteering to go to the post office all of a sudden? Or always going to the store for "you"?

He is "talking" more during sex or making "new" requests from you in the bedroom. Does he tell you you are too uptight and implying you don't want to "try new things" in bed?

Is he staying up "working" on the computer after you go to bed a lot? Does he get up before you and heads straight for the computer? Is he always "working" or "writing" on the computer?

There are TWO kinds of cyber lovers,
Those that are willing to meet and those that are not.

You have to ask yourself if either is acceptable.
Just like the "Real Time Affair" the "Cyber Affair" can be caught!

shared by Barbara at 7:39 AM



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