Sanctuary for the Abused

Saturday, February 02, 2013

Psychopath: Desire Driven, Untamed Nature

Our bundle of wishes drives us out of the bunk in the morning, well most of us anyway. We all have our own unique bundle that motivates us to act. No two bundles are identical, similar is as close as it gets.An act correlated to a wish or wishes in your bundle is far more satisfying than one out of sync. We are out here driving around acting on our desires and bumping into to each other all the time.

One of the most crucial characteristics we all must appreciate about bundle of wishes is that predators’ bundles are untamed.

Your chances of crashing into a predator, such as a rapist, pedophile, stalker, con artist, or the like, should be expected. Preparation is crucial to avoid a head on collision.

Awareness of a predator’s presence before you crash into them is far better then after. I learned my awareness the hard way, only after a destructive collision. Some driving lessons will help you maneuver around them.

What makes predators different is known. Their ability to mask this difference depends on your ignorance.

So what is different? Basically two things: the nature of their bundle and their lack of restraint for acting on a wish in their bundle. Predators have an untamed bundle of wishes.

Have you ever done something mean spirited and afterwards you wish you hadn’t? Two things happen as a result: guilt and behavior modification. You feel so darn guilty that you correct your behavior in the future.

Now consider the act of a predator. They do not experience guilt, thus no behavior modification in their future. No guilt equates to repetitive inappropriate behavior. No restraint by guilt sets them apart.

Two factors of our restraint are inhibition and empathy.

Inhibition arises because we feel our action might hurt somebody else. May not be true, but in our assessment we feel it is true. We do not act on this wish.

The second aspect is empathy. This is the ability to identify with someone else’s feeling. Here we assess a desire to act from the standpoint of another. If we decide our act will effect someone else in a negative way, we will not do it.

A predator has a desire and acts without this assessment. They do not have this ability. Research indicates they never will.

A predator’s bundle of wishes fall in the legal or criminal realm. A predator that is driven by legal desire is extremely pervasive and rarely identified. Criminal predators cause society’s greatest fear and when caught our legal system is designed to remove them, at least for a while.

Both types are dreadfully destructive. Personally I fear the legal variety because their impact is left unchecked. They cause significant harm to those that unwittingly get close to them.

Wake up all you domestic violence victims! If your spouse’s bundle of wishes is untamed, they do not change.

Where I place my greatest fear is irrelevant. What is relevant is a predator’s desire is either unfathomable to you (criminal) or in your mean spirited category (legal). Your fear comes from what you do not understand.

Why anybody would want to sexually assault a woman or molest a child is beyond our power of reason. Sorry to say that some wishes in some predators’ bundles are pure evil.

That they are acted upon is another predator difference. We can never be certain about the nature of somebody else’s bundle. Observing and realizing an action arising out of their lack of constraint indicates possible predator presence.

Remember we all slip up occasionally. No body is perfect. An occasional act that is mean spirited is normal. Beware of the ones who repeat the same behavior under similar circumatances.

Without inhibition and empathy some relatively innocuous behaviors can give off clues to indicate the necessity to steer clear.

As you drive down the road of your life be on the lookout for an untamed bundle of wishes.

AVOID THAT HEAD ON COLLISION!

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shared by Barbara at 12:20 AM


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2 Comments:

"Psychopaths' Brains Wired to Seek Rewards, No Matter the Consequences" ScienceDaily (Mar. 14, 2010)

9:55 PM  

how do you know? I mean, at what point do finally figure out that you have been used and lied to everyday since you first met. How can you even try to distinguish where the truth stopped and the lying began. Assuming that there was ever any truth there to begin with. I'm just having an extremely hard time processing that one man can really, truely be capable of causing so much pain. being honest though, I know that I have always known that he was not right emotionally but I forced myself to put up with it, I put up with it because I was in love, but not with my husband.(whom is the man I have been referring to)Instead I was in love with two young children. They were just babies then.But because of a bad sitation between my husband and his ex(The childrens mom) the children were in my care for a while. I was 23, and scared to death, I had no idea what I was doing with a 2 year old and a 6 month old baby. I bought every baby book and toddler book on the shelp and had them read in about a week. I ended more confused after I had 6 different books telling me 6 different ways how to handle any sitation with a child. ;-)
Ijust don't know anymore he has told me stories and a million explainations over the years why his ex was such a danger to the children but he would tell me full blown stories of things she would do so I never questioned that she may need some help. I always wondered why in the world she seemed to despise me so much, but now I think its very possible that he was doing to her what he has been doing to me for 5 years now. Why if she was not the crazy one at all, what if the whole time it was all him and his doing. I wanted to leave him so many times but I never could, I knew I could never leave the children especially with him, so for five years I have just ignored it. But I think I knew the whole time, actually i'm sure of it. I believe thats why I never left I had to be there to make sure the boys were okay.
I still have not fully left him, I can't not until his custody battle with his ex is over , not until I know the boys will be okay. But is it really possible? I mean
How can one person do all this. Is it really possible for someone to be THAT AWESOME at lying? I'm completely horrified to be around him at all at this point. For some reason, maybe because there so much history, I just cannot wrap my head around the fact that I know he's sick.
How do you come to terms with reality? But mostly? How in the world do Iget over the fact that Iallowed this all to happen?

5:45 AM  

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