Sanctuary for the Abused
Sunday, November 04, 2018
Cognitive Distortions
Cognitive distortions are logical, but they are not rational. They can create real difficulty with your thinking. See if you are doing any of the ten common distortions that people use. Rate yourself from one to ten with one being low and ten being high. Ask yourself if you can stop using the distortions and think in a different way.
1. ALL-OR-NOTHING THINKING: You see things in black-and-white categories. If your performance falls short of perfect, you see your self as a total failure.
2. OVERGENERALIZATION: You see a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat.
3. MENTAL FILTER: You pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it exclusively so that your vision of all reality becomes darkened, like the drop of ink that discolors the entire beaker of water.
4. DISQUALIFYING THE POSITIVE: You reject positive experiences by insisting they "don't count" for some reason or other. In this way you can maintain a negative belief that is contradicted by your everyday experiences.
5. JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS: You make a negative interpretation even though there are no definite facts that convincingly support your conclusion.
1. MIND READING: You arbitrarily conclude that someone is reacting negatively to you, and you don't bother to check this out6. MAGNIFICATION (CATASTROPHIZING) OR MINIMIZATION: You exaggerate the importance of things (such as your goof-up or someone else's achievement), or you inappropriately shrink things until they appear tiny (your own desirable qualities or other fellow's imperfections). This is also called the binocular trick."
2. THE FORTUNETELLER ERROR: you can anticipate that things will turn out badly, and you feel convinced that your prediction is an already-established fact.
7. EMOTIONAL REASONING: You assume that your negative emotions necessarily reflect the way things really are: "I feel it, therefore it must be true."
8. SHOULD STATEMENTS: You try to motivate yourself with should and shouldn't, as if you had to be whipped and punished before you could be expected to do anything. "Musts" and "oughts" are also offenders. The emotional consequences are guilt. When you direct should statements toward others, you feel anger, frustration, and resentment.
9. LABELING AND MISLABELING: This is an extreme form of overgeneralization. Instead of describing your error, you attach a negative label to yourself. "I'm a loser." When someone else's behavior rubs you the wrong way, you attach a negative label to him" "He's a Goddamn louse." Mislabeling involves describing an event with language that is highly colored and emotionally loaded.
10. PERSONALIZATION: You see your self as the cause of some negative external event, which in fact you were not primarily responsible for.
(note: some of these can be CAUSED by either being a victim of abuse or having an abusive personality disorder - Barbara)
ORIGINAL
Labels: assuming, catastrophizing, cognitive distortions, minizing, narcissists, personalization, psychopath, should
1 Comments:
This is how a person who is a non-psychopath will turn out when raised by a psychopath.
All or nothing thinking is what happens because there is no truth in a psychopath and they are constantly bored and love to make others jump, jump, jump, hurry, hurry, hurry OR what's your hurry, you need to be patient. Basically they will want to do the opposite of whatever you are doing. The second one again, because there is no truth in them (their brains process all words the same, so "rape" has no more meaning than "tree")so they can justify anything as right or wrong depending on what way they want to debate for that moment. (They love to endlessly debate and will often get you to side with them on one thing, then change sides. NO TRUTH IN THEM.) The third thing, this too is typical of psychopaths. They will pick on one thing and totally ignore anything good or right you have done and also keep you from looking at their shortcomings. (But remember, they TRULY do not believe that they have any shortcomings even if they rape, steal, torture others etc. Their brains do not process the emotions of guilt, shame or gratefullness.) They REALLY BELIEVE that you don't matter. You are nothing but a milking machine to them. Whether they milk you for the right response, to make them look good or normal, or weird or whatever you are NOTHING MORE THAN AN ACCOUTREMENT TO THEM.
The mind reading thing. This too is the result of being raised by a psychopath. See, they REALLY BELIEVE that they can control others with their mind. So when you learn to try and pacify them or stave off abuse by learning what triggers it, you are doing it as a means of survival but they think they are controlling you. If you have this abuse reinforced throughout your lifetime or ask for help but never receive it, you learn to try and accommodate others. (That horrible movie with Sandra Bullock "28 Days" where she had to wear that sign around her neck making sure she asked others for help was to me a re-rape of her characters abuse. She never was helped as a child and as a means of survival learned to NOT ask for help.)
Number six is also typical of psychopaths as they make mountains out of molehills, and molehills out of mountains. They could be sex-crazed porn addicits who have VD but you will be berated for not having desire for them. NO TRUTH IN THEM.
So, let's just let psychopaths do whatever they want to as they are born this way and it's not their fault and let's continue to throw us non-psychopaths out there as bait to see how it turns out. Oh wait a minute, this is a LIST of how it turns out so maybe we should try to PREVENT others from being abused. Think about it, this way of thinking does nothing but keep us emotionally re-raping ourselves thoughout our lifetime.
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