Sanctuary for the Abused

Tuesday, May 18, 2021

Financial Abuse / Economic Abuse

Financial and economic abuse is a form of domestic violence in which the abuser uses money as a means of controlling his or her partner. Financial and economic abuse is only one tactic that an abuser may use to gain power and dominance over his or her victim.

An abuser may deny his or her partner money. One way this is accomplished may be by forbidding a partner to be employed. This makes the non-working partner dependent upon the abuser for money. There are some economically abused women who are forced to beg their partner for everyday necessities such as diapers (for children), food and/or health care. If an abuser does permit his or her partner to work, he or she may be required to hand over their paycheck each week to their abuser.

Many times an abuser will give money to his or her partner. However, it may not be sufficient enough to meet the needs of the individual. Any monies that are given to a partner by an abuser will generally have to be accounted for and proof will have to be shown of all purchases.

Many financial and economic abusers will put all of the family bills in their victim’s name. At the same time, the abuser will not allow his or her partner to see bank records, bills or credit records. Many financial and economic abusers are not good with money and he or she will end up destroying the credit of their partners.

Some economic abusers who require their partners to do illegal acts for money. There are also abusers who will use any money brought in for children through welfare, child support checks, or monetary gifts on themselves.

Some financial abusers who refuse to work, putting the burden upon their partners to keep the household running. However, money that is brought in by the working victim is mishandled and squandered by the abuser. Then, the victim is berated if bills fall behind.

If you are a victim of domestic violence, help is available. Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE1-800-799-SAFE. They will direct you to places in your area where you can seek help.

(While the 'male' is used here, your abuser could also be female!)

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shared by Barbara at 12:14 AM



Can you recommend additional sources for information on financial/economic abuse? This sounds like my situation.

1:30 PM  

I am in a situation like this, my fiancee gets $1200 a week and i get $280 a fortnight from the government which i have to use to buy groceries and supplies to last our kids for 2 weeks (until i get paid next) i only have 2 pairs of pants 2 singlets and 2 shirts and a couple of jumper all which i brough from vinnies as i hate to spend the money i get each fornight on me when my kids need food and stuff.

my 7 month old goes through 3 tins of formula, and 2 bags of nappies a fortnight and my daughter is constantly eating. i can't even get a health care card from centrelink because my fiancee earns too much so i have to pay the difference at the doctor and pay full price for their medication.

I have some issues like major depression anxiety and social phobia and so on, my medication costs me around $30 a month for the generic brand but i cant purchase it because i cant afford it as i reckon our kids come first.

I said to him the other day that i need to put off getting my medication for another 2 weeks and he was just like "yeah" meanwhile he had just spent $170 on a tent to go camping (but its the middle of winter)then he was looking at eskys to buy and other stuff to buy.

He has 2 houses and a new car and he does'nt give me any money at all and im scared to ask him for stuff because he says no or you dont need it. he even gets grumbly if he needs to get baby milk for our son. and if i do ask him for money he won't lend it to me unless i tell him i'll pay him back the next time i get paid. i cant even go to work even though he tells me too because he earns so much i would'nt be able to get daycare rebate and would be paying about $350 in childcare, so say the average pay is $535 after paying daycare i would be left with $135 for groceries and i know he would make me pay all the bills too. so i cant work.

11:03 PM  

Yep...I know this form of abuse very well!

11:27 PM  

As someone who was physically, psychologically and emotionally abused by my ex, I was relieved to get out of the relationship. I had no idea I was in for years of financial abuse, as perpetrated through the court system. My ex is a wealthy Type A control freak. He has been forcing me to spend my child support on legal costs for years, he had connections to secure a Judge in the NYS supreme court who is famous for overlooking domestic violence. Judge Laura Drager is famous for letting affluent spouses impoverish the other, known for illegally evicting women and their kids from homes, famous for failing to award court costs and equitable distribution. There is a petition against Laura Drager at, please sign to have her removed. There have been newspaper articles - many - detailing how she lets the monied spouse abuse the other. This is crazy and wrong! My nine year old was diagnosed with PTSD from the incessant court battles and my ex taking all material items away. My ex tried to put our gifted child in public, while he endows full scholarships for college kids. The judge Laura Drager sanctioned this outrage! Economic abuse has such a terrible impact on families. Please go to and sign to remove Laura Drager. There must be court oversight, too many in the legal profession are corrupt and for sale.

4:28 PM  

Judge Laura Drager Has Been Entrusted With the "Breaking Up of A Family". She has thrown women and children "in front of the bus" in lieu of her divorce company.

Judge Laura is known to make rich men richer, by making richer lawyers richer. She manipulates the female litigant's attorneys, so they turn against their client. Even the attorney with the best of intentions in regard to their client has no chance...either you march to Judge Laura's crooked drum beat or you are out of "Manhattan's Matrimonial Business".

Judge Laura is known to advise the rich spouse's attorney not to pay child support, so they can suffocate the female spouse economically. Judge Laura's favorite thing to do is to unlawfully seize assets of women and throw both the woman and her children out onto the street.

Hundreds are Calling For the Removal of Judge Laura Drager at Change.Org

10:13 PM  

when I finaly had the courage to throw my ex out, he instead of changing his address he got a post box account, aftr 3 yrs of not knowing this I was question in relastion to benefit fraud, I had to be declared bankrupt but now all debt has to be payed as debts under fraud cant be expected, I shruggle every wk ad sometimes don't have enough money for food aftr ive payd out every thing, I often see him swanning around as if he hasn't done anything,

5:50 AM  

your tax person needs to file something called "INNOCENT SPOUSE RELIEF"

8:15 AM  

My ex common law stole my assets from me this way in just found out about this economic abuse now what can I do? I about to lose house and have debts he rung up in my name

5:36 AM  

My ex conned me into signing things. I am about to lose two homes. Because he made it that way by not paying mortgages. Then admitted he did it so he cn scoop one of the houses vo I lose my home I got conned out of all. Y assets. His debts in my name etc. it was Mormon law relationsh

5:38 AM  

My soon to be ex husband worked very little when we were married, had his own business and I never knew what he was bringing in...he didn't like to give me any money toward bills so I changed some of them into his name so he would pay them. When we first married, I put the mortgage and vehicle loans in my name as I had good credit - he said he would pay half the payments but that only lasted a few months...and he would occasionally pay one when I was really upset. I never realized this was abuse until after we separated....I never took a trip while he went to the US open twice, travelled often and played golf whenever he wanted. He always seemed to have cash for that, and for toys that would appear in the garage or that I would find out about when I saw him putting them on a trailer to go fishing, etc.. He kept telling me to take a trip but I had no extra money and he knew that...he didn't seem to care. Before our marriage ended (due to a violent physical assault) he tried to get me to borrow $70,000 for a new vehicle for him, some property and to fix up the house that he had torn apart in gut told me not to borrow the money, and I am glad now that I did not.....also, now that we are not together, he works really hard and makes a lot of money, which I have no right to (I checked with a lawyer)...10 years of economic abuse and I am glad it wasn't worse. I thought we were building a future but he was using me. Hard to swallow.

5:22 PM  

FYI I have called every domestic abuse number listed on this site as well as Googled countless others. Domestic abuse shelters and resources in WI are a joke, nonexistent. There is some help if you have children under 18. Single and homeless with ptsd and depression and the only avenue you have is to sleep in your car. Oh I do get food stamps and I am grateful. Was seeing a counselor at the abuse center 3 times a week for over 3 years. Not one note was taken so even tho my psychiatrist was 100% behind me getting social security disability I was denied as the women's center did not keep one note. I suggest the idiots running the so called resources should sleep in their cars scared to death after losing family and friends at the hands of a malignant narcissist. Better yet I hope a predator gets hold of them or a loved one and perhaps they will quit lying about resources and get off their rumps and put their money where their mouths are. What a joke.

10:30 PM  

FINANCIAL ABUSE is the accepted norm for any woman attempting to leave an abusive relationship. You cannot leave without support and if you are told to just leave, know that no system will understand financial abuse. The office of violence against women has not pushed for any civil penalty for financial crimes for banksters or for abusers. BEWARE AND KNOW THIS IS A REAL OBSTACLE. If you are in Florida, connect with Florida Protectiv Parents Association facebook page. In the greater US, connect with Complete Legal Advocacy facebook page. We are working to file civil rights litigation to protect abused parents and children. I will post what others are doing to affect change.

6:47 AM  

You have a malpractice lawsuit against the women's center. What is happening is only selected agencies are being allowed access to abused women and they hire recent graduates who are low paid and not experienced. There should have been an administrator and supervisor at that facility that ensured that notes were taken. Check online for medical malpractice attorneys. Each agency has an insurance policy. It will be an easy lawsuit for any attorney. They will take it on contingency. You already have losses that can be documented.

6:51 AM  

My husband has a set amount direct deposited to my bank account weekly. This amount is supposed to cover groceries for 5, gas, medications, everything. I am afraid to ask for any extra because I will get "for what" even if I ask for $10. Then he wants to know why I went through my weekly pittance. He has an apartment away from home because of his work. He's home overnight 1 day a week an I dread when that day comes. When he does come home he says hello then immediately starts complaining and critiquing. Only o follow that with how he went out for crab legs the night before or whatever he has bought himself durning the week while I can't even afford to shop at Goodwill. He makes.fantastic money so it's not a financial issue though I have no idea how much money there is because he moved things from our joint account to a totally different bank. I am disabled by the way and have been a housewife the majority of our marriage so I do not qualify for any disability. And his favorite thing to say is that I need to get a job if I need extra money so badly. I'm so tired of this but I'm trapped.

11:02 PM  

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