Sanctuary for the Abused

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

THE SMEAR CAMPAIGN - Hallmark of a Narcissist or Sociopath



Sociopath a.k.a. Anti-Social Personality Disorder or Psychopath

When you are under libelous attack by a person who has deceived and defrauded you, there is a possibility that the person is a sociopath. Sociopaths have no heart, no conscience and no remorse. 

They will lie, cheat and steal from you and then tell everyone that it is all your fault.

It is impossible for healthy people to imagine how a sociopath thinks. Try for a moment imagining having no conscience? The best way to sum it up is "You are not a person to a sociopath". The shortest route between a sociopath and his or her agenda is a straight line, regardless of who or what stands in the way. A personality disorder is not an illness per se; it is simply a disorder. Many mental health professionals will tell you that apart from a miracle of God, they cannot be treated or cured; they are programmed for life.
"Since their information -- including emotional information -- is scattered all over both brain hemispheres, it takes too long for the brain to retrieve and process information, and the entire process of socialization becomes so ponderous that ultimately it fails."

(From the book "Without Conscience" by Robert Hare, PhD.)

So how many are there? Depending which expert's estimates you use, psychopaths / sociopaths comprise one percent to four percent of the world's population. And many experts think these estimates are low.

Why is it so critical for you to know about sociopaths? Because millions of sociopaths also called psychopaths, are living among us. Yes, many of them are criminals, locked up in jail. But far more are on the street, hurting people without openly breaking laws, operating in the grey areas between legal and illegal, or simply eluding the authorities. They can appear to be normal, but they pose a tremendous threat to us all

Sociopaths have no heart, no conscience and no remorse. They don't worry about paying bills. They think nothing of lying, cheating and stealing. In extreme cases, sociopaths can be serial rapists and serial killers.

Think you can spot a sociopath? Think again. Sociopaths often blend easily into society. They're entertaining and fun at parties. They appear to be intelligent, charming, well-adjusted and likable. The key word is "appear." Because for sociopaths it's all an illusion, designed to convince you to give them what they want.

If you expect sociopaths to have a crazy or sinister appearance, you're sadly mistaken. Sociopaths look non-descript, average or attractive -- just like anybody else.

Sociopaths come from all walks of life -- including well-educated, well-off families. Many sociopaths, therefore, have good social graces. They know how to dress and how to behave in polite society.

This doesn't stop them from lying, cheating and stealing. On the contrary, it makes their deceptions easier. Sociopaths from middle-class or privileged backgrounds often excel at white collar crime -- fraud, phony stock schemes, conning, embezzlement.

Why sociopaths are hard to recognize

1. They're fluent talkers (liars). Even when caught in a lie, they change their stories without skipping a beat.

2. They're totally comfortable in social situations and cool under pressure.

3. They use family or business connections to make themselves appear legitimate.

4. They often become, or pretend to be, clergy, lawyers, physicians, teachers, counselors and artists. Most of us generally assume people in these positions are trustworthy.

5. They're happy to exaggerate -- or fabricate -- credentials. Few of us check their references.

6. They will say absolutely anything to get what they want. The words, to them, mean absolutely nothing.

http://catinallity-cattery.info/

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shared by Barbara at 12:33 AM


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100 Comments:

So very true! If they lose money, it is your fault. If they default, you did something wrong and spent all their earnings. If they even fail an exam, it had to do with you keeping them from excelling. Amazing!

3:24 PM  

Wow! What a timely article! My ex-husband is hell-bent on destroying my life through any means necessary, yet he maintains to me and anyone within screaming distance, that it's ME who's the "crazy" one. I'm a firm believer of crazy is as crazy does so who's the crazy one? :-)

2:07 PM  

oh the lies, lies, lies, lies that so easily spring from their mouths. try to call them on one? either they will flat face say they didn't say it, or the story smoothly goes another direction. what masters of deception they are!

2:59 AM  

Evil. Was listening to a person who is well-versed on psychopathy. He was talking about this, evil, and he pointed out that most psychologists/psychiatrists refuse to acknowledge that this word is real in relation to some humans. So how on earth are we gonna help the victims of truly evil people when we won't even admit that some may be this way? Forever! People with the brain functioning of a psychopath are completely evil. COMPLETELY. Once you know the truth about them, and experts like Dr. Robert Hare and Martha Stout DO, there's no better word to use! The late Dr. M. Scott Peck also used this word to describe these people.

If you were in a relationship with one who has the brain functioning of a psychopath and you went to seek help, who would you rather talk to? Someone who thinks we're all the same and that if you just give, give, give and work, work, work, then maybe for one minute on one good day you may not be emotionally abused? OR, someone who sent you both to an mri place that checked for psychopathy and after the results came back and it was shown that your partner was a psychopath and then proceeded to tell you what this meant (that the the psychopath only wants to use, manipulate, hurt, control, play games, destroy the good things about you, use your heart against you, cannot process the emotions of love, gratefulness, empathy and actually only hates others and doesn't think of them as anything but prey) and then treated you like you were in a burning building and that it was imperative that you get out NOW! (As this is the RIGHT reaction! To be THIS concerned about the non-psychopath who is in the clutches of a psychopath.) Who would you pick now that you are (most likely as you're on this website) on the horrible end of the relationship? AND, what would you do to try to prevent others from being in this position?

I don't have the answers. I'm heartbroken for all of us. I want to keep others from being here, destroyed and ruined, and with nobody who even believes it was not only as BAD as it was but really FAR WORSE! Little ones, we need to help each other.

10:14 AM  

Well said anonymous at 10:14 A.M.

9:51 PM  

I just found out my twin sister is a sociopath , I was gifted a book byte my older sister , because she has witnessed the abuse I have endured from her for my entire life.
She has blamed me for her entire life and all the circumstances she has gone through , I have been beaten and battered by her verbally for my entire life , I am 52 years old, I have never shown more love to another human being and been told , no I have been screamed at and character assassinated for not doing a thing to help her out.
I have wondered why she has caused so much unwarranted pain all my life, I have been happily married for 30 years, I have a loving family , and she has not had anyone to lean on but me,she has lied over and over and over , she has manipulated me for years and has taken enough money from me , by making me feel sorry for her.
I was even willing to leave my family , so I could take care of her , she has never ever cared about my feelings or any of the pain she has caused our family with her outbursts of rage and anger.( out of no where)
Just would go crazy.
I have been a tortured soul for years wondering what I have done wrong to cause disharmony when all the while I was loving and rewarding her for her horrendous behavior , because we were raised as children to turn the cheek , we were both sexually assaulted as children , I went on and created a life of my dreams and live every day in gratitude for my life , she lives in a world where she blames everyone for her mistakes , and has never once apologized to me or my family for all the pain she has caused.
I have told her since reading this book without a conscience that if she comes near my family or me I will get a restraining order,
She has destroyed the lives of so many because she had affairs with married men.
She has always had a sense of entitlement when it comes to me , what ever she wants and needs I have provided her with, all the while trying to tell her I wasn't helpful only to hear and be screamed at DO YOU WANT ME TO BE HOMELESS?
I am exhausted , I am sad that I have had to live with abuse my family and I have had to endure from her wrath.
She has character assassinated me , my children , my husband, and I kept going back for more because I have felt so sorry for her.
I am seeking therapy , I have finally got the answers from what I have suffered from her my entire life ,
I am feral for her next victim , as she is so manipulative , she is coning , she is a master at her game ,
She is the devil himself , the mask is now removed and I can see the truth, her life has never been my fault , her sick and twisted choices she has made has never been my fault.
I am finally free!
Thank you and I only hope I recover quickly from being her victim.
Thank you for listening to a very wounded heart!

9:08 AM  

I finally found a site to vent on. I had no idea that my soon to be ex-wife had so many sociopath traits until I tried to piece the divorce together. Only after hearing things from friends and from counselors did it all start to make sense.
She is so phony
It's important to her how others view her
Money is very important to her
She doesn't know what love is
She only wanted you for you money
She is a master of manipulation

It all came together when I came across a site on how to recognize a sociopath and I coudn't believe what I was reading. I thought I was going crazy while I was married to her. It was so bad I had to get treated for depression and anxiety and was placed on too much medication.
Now I just want to know how to deal with her during a divorce. She doesn't want to come clean about where she spent a lot of money. She has completely avoided our requests. It's almost as if she feels that she is beyond reproach, that laws don't apply to her. I understand that they want to win at all costs and have no conscience and can pass a lie detector test. So how on earth does one get thru a divorce?

9:40 PM  

How does one get thru a divorce? There's oodles on this site and others about this.

http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com/2006/02/dealing-with-your-abuser-during.html

http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com/2006/06/splitting-protecting-yourself-while.html

and this site is excellent for handling sociopaths:

http://www.lovefraud.com/blog

good luck

1:30 AM  

If you are a victim or target of a sociopath your best bet is to RUN!!! I have experienced being the target of my husbands ex wife for 4 years now. And she is ruthless and relentless and evil. When I married my husband, and moved in with him. She was so nice. Like she wanted to be friends for the children's best interest. So I thought everything was good. I was happy to get along. Little did I know she was spreading vicious and disgusting rumors about me all over town, to my child's school, even going so far as going to my child's class to tell the teacher I was trash, a prostitute and former stripper. Which none are true. I am a well educated person, and have been a nice girl for most my life. If u excluded the partying I did in college ( but don't we all). She even started a website pretending to be me, pretty much saying I was mentally ill and suffered from borderline personality disorder. She signed me up for every XXX porn and dating site and put my cell phone as the contact. She does the most insane things to her children then somehow turns it and twist it and makes me ended up looking like a horrible step mom. When I have been good to my husbands children. It seems like when I do stuff for them, because she won't, she attacks me even more. When I just feel sorry for them and am trying to help my husband. I have ignored her this past year so her attacks are now just aimed at me but at my 8 year old child. I keep thinking eventually she will move onto another target, but so far she hasn't. Once I confronted her about going to the school and spreading heinous rumors about me, that's when all hell broke loose. And it's been hard. I don't want to fight this monster, it's hard to ignore her, she sends my husband 30 plus text a day telling him what a POS dad he is. Or asking for money. When he pays her $3000 in child support. Not to mention all doctors bills. His daughters braces. We buy them clothes and shoes and she always has a reason for more money. She has brainwashed the kids to keep their mouthes shut about what goes on at her house. She is evil. And I don't see the situation getting better..

9:40 AM  

My oldest son is a sociopath. He is 23 years old. I love him. It's really simple as that, he has treated me and his dad, and his siblings like we are nothing. I have done all I can do. I have about broke the bank between his thefts and lawyers fees keeping him out of jail. He always needs my help but then tells me I never do anything for him. He tells anyone who will listen how horrible I am. He says I am a liar and a terrible mother. You all know the drill. He now feels that i love my other son more than him, they got into a fight and he was clearly (to us) wrong. I refused to take his side so now he and his wife are "done" with me. He says he never wants to see me again. I am devastated. He is so hard to deal with but he is my son. My husband (his dad) says it's time to let go, but I feel like my heart is being ripped out. IDK what to do. Is there hope for a future with him? My family wants to just let it go. I cry all the time and am so unhappy with the situation and they are ready for it to be over. I am a stay at home mom, I have devoted my life to my husband and children. I understand how they feel, but how do you just let go of your child?

1:13 PM  

Let it go. Sociopaths can't be helped.

http://psychopathyawareness.wordpress.com

11:06 PM  

I was emotionally and sexually exploited by a priest who is surely a sociopath. Confronting him got my dog poisoned and my family threatened. I'm going to report him but want to be prepared for the evil he's likey to hurl my way. Any suggestions?

9:15 AM  

I do not know how my sociopath does it? But even though I know all the horrible, disgusting things she has done to me. When I am face to face with her she is able to suck me back in. And I end up feeling guilty for having no contact with her and telling my husband to have no contact with her. But I was dropping off my husbands kids and I was helping them carry theirs bags to the house and she came out. And was so nice (this woman hates me guts) but just her being nice made me feel like ok maybe we can work things out and be friends for this sake of the kids. But I have said that at least 400 times in the past 5 years and every single time I get stabbed in the back when I least expect it. She will be slandering me online anonymously. And the things she says are so horrible they are embarrassing. And if my boss or friends saw these things I would die. I have filed police reports to get her to stop. She just turns around and writes a public blog saying " I cyber stalk her! And stalk her at her house! And she is so frightened of me and thinks I am mentally unstable and she is scared for the safety of her children !" When I have been nothing but supportive of her kids because they are my husbands children too and I want to help him out and they need someone to pay attention to them. So I am screwed basically no matter what I do. It was just so confusing for me how I seem to forget everything that she has done and said about me and my young daughter, when face to face with her because she is so nice, and it seems genuine and she seems NORMAL. But I just know better. I know not to take her bait, and not to think to much of it because she has repeatedly, did I say REPEATEDLY? Assaulted me verbally online, spread outlandish lies about me, made websites using my first last name and impersonated me to look like a crazy evil psycho. She has accused me of being a cyber troll, made twitter accts in my name. Facebook in my name. All of them portraying me unfavorably. She has signed me up for the nastiest online dating sites. Not the normal ones. But the ones where the only picture of the people is the private parts. And she put my # and address and a picture of my face. I am an attractive girl so I have had to change my # because of the calls I was getting from creeps! I just wonder will she ever stop. She is like 45. And she was an attorney and been disbarred for life. Her life is on a fast spiral downward. Will she stop ever now that her life is failing and she is known by the community as a druggie and their and basically white trash?

7:10 AM  

"I'm heartbroken for all of us. I want to keep others from being here, destroyed and ruined, and with nobody who even believes it was not only as BAD as it was but really FAR WORSE! Little ones, we need to help each other."

That kind of empathy really helps. The direction of the discussion of sociopathy and psychopathy seems to be changing, but still far too slowly. I wish there was a definite medical cure, but it's all experimental so far. Until that cure comes or the public really begins to get accurate, non-poppy info about the subject, or more practicing psychologists investigate the disorder more seriously, I feel like I can only hide the nightmare that was imposed upon me by my abuser. Half of the time, I feel like I'm traversing a minefield hoping not to get blown up again all while preventing him to enter my thoughts. Seriously, it's that bad.

12:18 PM  

I was in a long-term relationship with a psychopath. He gave me a chronic disease, and I found out had a secret double life with prostitutes... He actually bragged about his "escapades" on his twitter acct., in his real name, while we were still together!
He has never, ever, responded to my questions, he simply doesn't acknowledge any transgression, or our 11 years together.

They don't care a whit, for others, when they are found out, they brag...We are disposable objects, to be regarded with contempt...

2:40 AM  

What a relief to find this site... I have been in a relationship with a sociopath for 20 years. We met about 2 years after my Dad's suicide and at 15 years old, I became infatuated with him. I was so insecure, broken, and pretty naïve (in hindsight, I was exactly what he was looking for) he was so bold and reckless, he had the qualities that I wanted so desperately. I craved that confidence and life without a care in the world. I was drawn to him like a moth to a flame. He was so funny and witty. I fell hard for him. It wasn't long before the lies, manipulation, and abuse began. Our relationship has always been extremely intense. It is either extreme happiness (rarely) or extreme misery. We have been on and off, married twice, and separated many times throughout our relationship. He has been in jail and there were no-contact orders, protection orders, and yet I get sucked back in every time. He has stolen from my family, his family, stores, and friends. I can never let my guard down completely because he can be so unpredictable so I never know when the other shoe will drop. He steals my medication. I can't trust him. He refuses to take accountability for anything. It is always someone else's fault. He refuses to lift a finger to do anything for himself or his family. He will not work. Yet he acts as if the world owes him something. He ended up with a severe illness that lasted a few years. I took care of him around the clock when he couldn't even sit up by himself. I turned my living room into a hospital room and got trained to do run his I.V.s (18 hours worth daily)to avoid putting him in a nursing home. This is all while caring for our children too. He had a 5% chance of survival and was on life support 4 times. Miraculously, he recovered. Silly me, I believed him when he said almost dying had changed him and he was going to be good to me and make everything right. He was back to his old self and when I confronted him, he said, "so you took care of me when I was sick, you're my wife, that's your job, what do you want a fu***ng medal?!" He has no appreciation for anything or anyone. He has threatened suicide many times to manipulate me. Knowing full well how much my Dad's suicide hurt me. He takes the most traumatic events in people's lives and waits until the opportune moment to exploit them. His presence drains the life out of me..... Believe me, I understand.

1:36 PM  

I need help, although I have known that my sister was sick, about 5 years ago I went after her in the care of my Dad, who she had sponged off for years. We have not spoken since. She quietly waited all these years and is now lashing Hell back at me, Are there any groups that get together to help each other. I live in Michigan. My name is Robin

2:50 PM  

So glad to find this site. I was raised in a loving family, or so I thought. One sister is a sociopath and destroyed two souls in our family of 9 including my brother and me. We are the two most able to read, comprehend, and understand as she feeds off the other naive and vulnerable siblings. She is the ring leader and has spread her poison to my siblings, nieces and nephews. Her poison knows no bounds for her greed, power and control over the family and family business. She is cunning, ruthless, deceitful, and uses her charm to deceive. She will destroy anyone who gets in her way.

Thank you for this site. We are not alone.

1:58 PM  

I have a nasty brother-in-law, 55 years old, a UK lounge lizard in the West Midlands, lazy, unemployed for over 5 years - likes it that way! - never been married - treats women horribly (and anyone else, too, whom he cannot use in some way) - is judgmental, spiteful, rude, dishonest and a sneak thief.
He communicates with eyerolls, grunts, sneers, snarls, and dismissive shrugs. He has a bevy of bar buddies in the West Midlands and he likes to name-drop that they're doctors' sons, Ph.Ds, and the like. He lies without any conscience or remorse whatsoever. When one catches him in a lie, he looks you straight in the face and says: "You're too emotional. It was just a misunderstanding." He is a lout of the lowest order and couldn't care less who he lies to, hurts or inconveniences. At first we sought to understand him and iron out any misunderstandings. Then it became apparent that this old man is an attention seeking drama queen and nothing will ever be peaceful in our lives if he's in the picture trying to use, abuse and bizarrely control us. Chaos, unnecesary silly drama, immense frustration at his immature behaviour, and ridiculous wastes of time (on our parts) always follow wherever he goes. Yet to hear him tell it, everyone has the problem but him. Finally, DH and I have distanced ourselves from this bizarre people-user as much as we possibly can. Even so, he still tries to bully his way into our lives and defies us in a myriad of ways to stand up to him.

11:05 AM  

My whole family are sociopaths. It took me 37yrs of being attacked by them before I could eliminate the idea that family are important ( for the better). Since I have cut them out of my life, I have become more successful in my relationships and career. They lied and lied to get what they wanted and they got what they wanted because I was an idiot to think that their intentions were good only to find, after so many years, they were discrediting me to people in government bodies and relatives in order to steal my shares in property and money from my deceased mothers estate.
Im quite heartbroken and furious with the whole situation.
Sociopaths are talented liars. I believe, they are, as stated in a previous post, evil.
The trick to the sociopath is they will win a fight first before they throw a punch. How is this done? By knowing their enemy first. They do this regularly and are practised because they see everyone as an enemy - this is the world they have understood since the beginning of their existence. The sociopath must get to know the victim first. The more information they have about you, the more opportunity they 'will' take to hurt you. Simply put, no info, no hurt. However, I even wish it was so simple.
How do you get to know them before they get to know you? I will encrypt this as much as possible because sociopaths like to educate themselves on what their victims are reading - any signs of weakness are employed in their arsenal - realistically, if they had the slights proof that you may be depressed, they will try to put you in a mental hospital if it meant keeping you quiet. Take your experience/s with sociopath/s and look at all the areas you opened up to them - now, this is going to be hard because it just will be - the frustrations will blind you. At each point you opened up to them, place a character test - you will need to research your tests because you do not want to give away techniques over the internet - especially ones that protect you and put these people in their places. However, one thing could be - what are they strong at - what could have a negative impact on this strength - that can be test number 3 or whenever you prefer.
I would like to say there is a donkey and carrot scenario here but I know that if you've been the victim of a sociopath, one of the general reasons is because you do not manipulate others or you do not know how to. Sociopaths do and they do it everyday - they are very very good at this and can read the signs.
Sociopaths like their victims to know that they are a sociopath only when they know that the victim does not have any connections or any importance to future arrangement/s. In other words, no use and no standing = destroy. What this suggests is that you must maintain some connection to them? - on the contrary - no info, no hurt - part of you knew that they are a sociopath and thats why they finally attacked you - it was a matter of time - what can you remember about the sociopath before you realised they were a sociopath? What were those glimpses? Keep those glimpses, they will acts as alerts when you come across the new sociopaths - believe me, those glimpses are true signs coming from a place deep within you - do not let that place be entered by anyone - they are your foundation of defence and trust the glimpses - really trust them.
Imagine what you could do to a sociopath if you knew what they wanted. Imagine what they would do if they knew that you knew what they really are.
I think the most appropriate quote for this topic is "don't judge a book by its cover" (cover - disguise).

9:08 PM  

I am married to a narcissistic sociopath. I am broken and so hurt. He is so mean, nasty and cold to me. I have been in this for almost 4 years and I feel like I am going crazy. He lies about all kinds of things.I caught him texting and talking to a low life woman at work.He told her I was crazy and I would kill myself if he left and that my father raped me as a child.ALL LIES! !! He talks bad about me to his friends and coworker. So everyone thinks I am the crazy one..God I am in so much pain..His crazy mother still enables him and she talks
bad about me to blaming me and saying I am the one who is screwed up.He is a mammas
boy the worst one I have ever incountered. He is also very abusive both physically and mentally but mostly mentally. He is a compulsive liar who lies about anything and everything even when the truth will serve him better.He will give me the silent treatment and gaslighting when he is caught in lies or if there is an issue between us. There is so much more to much to write..It all started they way the websites say. He was perfect for me my soul mate. He liked everything I liked and
was persistent. Now after all of the lies, deceit smear campaigns and abuse I am empty and feel so alone.Everytime I get ready to leave he turns into the sweet guy who will do anything for me..Its soo sick.I now know he will never change and if I dont leave I will totally lose myself .

1:25 PM  

I am grateful for finding your blog. I am currently in the process of divorce and now analyzing everything that went on in the marriage. From discouraging me in my studies to further my career - actually more than once suggesting I quit school because of the loans I was taking for school - to my current situation - filing a police report claiming he thinks I am going to kill him so that he can take custody of my children.

Some days I don't think I have the strength to go on, except that I have to protect my 3 little minions from him.

Thank you for sharing your voice.

1:35 PM  

Ok so where do I start…………it was the end of the July and my girlfriend went to visit her “family”. She came home that morning and said we need to talk. I said about what (through texts and I am at work). She said nothing we will talk later. Now after someone tells you that you have to know something is up. She finally broke up with me through text. Ileft to go home to work and she started blaming things like not leaving the shower door open when showering because it was “growing mold” So anyways I finally found out the truth. She left me for the girl that she had been “best friends “ with for 15 years. She then kicked out and moved in the girl within 2 weeks. Who moves that quickly? It hurts so much.
Now the twist comes in…….after about a month Kristin starts texting me about she regretting things……didn’t want me to sign my lease. Wanted me to move back in AND act like nothing happened.
They got in a physical fight at a bar. They are awful for each other.

8:24 PM  

Sociopaths are most deceptive people on the planet; they can appear oh so normal, but underneath the exterior lurks a dark, evil, dangerous organism. It is inconceivable how evil and cold sociopaths can be...

8:55 PM  

Sociopaths are particularly ill-suited to participate in the give and take of civilized society. Many of them are misfits or criminals. White collar psychopaths are likely to be deceitful and engage in rampant identity theft, the use of aliases, constant lying, fraud, and con-artistry for gain or pleasure.
Psychopaths are irresponsible and unreliable. They do not honor contracts, undertakings, and obligations. They are unstable and unpredictable and rarely hold a job for long, repay their debts, or maintain long-term intimate relationships.
in conflict with authority and frequently on the run, psychopaths possess a limited time horizon and seldom make medium or long term plans. They are impulsive and reckless, aggressive, violent, irritable, and, sometimes, the captives of magical thinking, believing themselves to be immune to the consequences of their own actions.

6:26 AM  

My sons girl friend is a sociopath...let's call her Cheryl. She made her parents life hell and any boyfriend she came in contact with. She is attractive, dresses nice, and is very clever but behind the facade is someone who will do whatever to whomever she pleases for an end result. Whatever her motives are.. probably none? She steals anyone and everyone blind...she will take a pencil, your email password, borrow your clothes under the guise of "borrow' but it's her way to control whatever she wants. And boy does she want it ALL and take or 'borrow what isn't nailed down. She goes to college, on her parents dime who work like a btch's they lie to the world to protect the image that is her Psychopathic daughter.
When confronted Cheryl will change her story numerous times, crockadile tears but never ever ever apologize when caught. She ruins lives then blames it on the victim and especially anyone that sees through them like me. Stealing passwords and passing it off as some casual question so she can help us...fix our email, fix our phone, read something on our ipad etc. The excuses are infinite. The sweetness and the manner at which she controls her audience is by pretending to be good, and a humanitarian but she copies those around her. Most of all she is so socially awkward but tries to pass it off as humor and high energy but it's really just her trying to control her IMPULSIVE behavior. That's the give away she just can't help herself...the thought of her makes my skin crawl. My son buys it all he thinks she is sweet, sincere and a smart college student travelling and volunteering her time like she is a renaissance woman. She needs everyone's private information (so she can use it someday against you) yet no one knows anything about what she does at College. She is a closed book. More like a person sucking all the energy and life from those around her. The worst is her awful parents covering for her. Did they actually believe Cheryl would only destroy their lives and steal only from them? They need to tell my son who she is but they won't ...they are very afraid of her and cowards. Living in a fantasy world pretending it doesn't happen. I have gone to lengths to keep her away from me. Now I find out what she wants to do for a living and it is far far scarier than anything she could do to us. Her reach will effect many lives. The sad thing is you can't go to anyone but watch it all go down. Like many of said they put themselves in positions of confidence and or control of ppl's lives. Blank vessels without Souls, you cannot pray for them or try to comfort them. They are Not human. They seek to destroy and ruin lives and make this world difficult to live in. They undermine sacred Trust. They run on very low vibrations...all one can do is get them utterly and completely OUT of their lives. I do pray everyday my innocent son will see the light and stop being manipulated.

10:13 AM  

My ex wife is a sociopath. I never knew what that was until my new wife figured it out. I thought she was just bit polar and crazy. I have 2 kids with this crazy woman. She text me at least 5-10 times every day. She has stolen from me, ruined my credit. I recently paid off the irs from the years we were together. She would never pay it. She has judgements against her. She won't let me see my kids. I won't take her to court because it would be the fight of my life and she left me drained so emotionally and financially I just can't fight her anymore. I have gone no contact with her for over 2 years. And she is still harassing me with text messages. She has verbally attacked my wife. She has made up lies about me and my wife to ruin our reputation.
It was when she attacked my wife's young child. That I finally had enough and refused to take her attacks and abuse and cut off all contact. It use to upset me that she texted me all the time. Now I just look at it as desperation. And a woman who is so miserable that she wants to make me miserable to. She has burned every bridge she had. Even her own family can't stand her. She has screwed them over as well. It's so frustrating. But I have accepted that she is a bad person. She is a horrible mother even though she claims she is the best mother ever. She attacked my wife because my wife cared for the kids and helped them and gave them attention. And she is so insecure in her own mothering she felt threatened. That's when she decided to destroy my wife's character. But fortunately for my wife and me. My ex wife has such a horrible reputation. No one believes her. She just looks crazier than ever the more she talks.

I think she thought because we have children she would be able to manipulate and control me the rest of my life. She was wrong. Without her in my life and degrading me, I have become a stronger person. And nothing in the this world she says to me matters. She lies so much. I don't believe anything she says. When I get a text from her. I usually delete before I even read it. It is just sent to waste my time.

12:28 AM  

Help, he is destroying our whole family. Evil...lies...provokes and smiles....for years..therapy is for us is not helping...I am so very sad and afraid

10:14 PM  

The sociopath will never change and has no good intentions. And never will. I don't know why a sociopath even gets married. THEY CANNOT BE FAITHFUL. Sociopaths will cheat, lie, and stab you in the back. And smile while doing it. They ruin families. ruin lives. Sociopaths leave a person bitter and hopeless and totally defeated. The best way to protect yourself is KNOWLEDGE. Once you know you a dealing with one, have the knowledge to protect yourself and your children. Even then you will never escape then. One can only hope the reckless life they live will catch up with them and they will die.

1:40 PM  

I read some of comments and could nt help but notice a few sociopaths are on here...sadly given the horrific power australian family court bestows upon deadbeat sociopathic abusive males and the rediculous notion that american or moms from other cultures have no rights and no say in their childrens welfare has seen me and kids stripped of right to even visit home...living in isolation and a paycheck from homelessness with no right to child support or the ex having to lift a finger. Oh and apparently i am insane. So the courts and anyone my posturing devoid of humanity ex says. Now...he is going for full custody......yet couldnt be stuffed paying a dime of support or even seeing his kids much at all...ripping me apart because the courts here are built for psychos.

1:53 PM  

To the person above me...I too have been emotionally raped by an australian psychopath, and then raped in the australian courts after he lied to police...so i know what you are going through...it is very difficult to get justice here in any way....it's like living in the third world...i am leaving soon for the usa..i have had enough of this place..seven years later, i just cannot do it anymore...stay strong, sister..xx

9:10 AM  

My mother is a sociopath, at best. I am 50. Have had no contact with her in 15 years. Last time she saw me, in my own home, she kicked me and told me to get out of her way. Out of the blue, she called my office yesterday because her husband (my step-father) had died.
Why would she call me?
Even after this amount of time, I feel guilty for not calling back. I cannot fathom why she would call me. During her absence, my brother, her son died. My sister her daughter, is dieing of colon cancer.
I am tempted to call back, I don't know why.
Any advice out there?

6:16 PM  

Hmmm something is not connecting with what you are saying. Funnily enough my ex says i do all what you are describing and he spends a lot of time getting people onside and he has projected it all onto me. You can bet when he spouts off about me being a crappy mom...that he pays so much child support...that i am lazy and just do for myself...it is opposite of truth. I find it so offensive and discouraging when they get women to stand in front of them like shields going 'poor baby'....no - it is the true victim who needs support. Methinks the boy protests too much and gullible girls fall for it. And when you have his kids and are pushed out and demonised...the lightbulbs go off...what he says of me he said of his ex gf before me...yet he is the deadbeat abusive irresponsible nutty 1 who destroys instead of shutting the ...up and being a real human being and 'dad" to kids.

10:15 AM  

I wish we could talk...i am not allowed to leave...ALLOWED...a grown woman raising kids w no help and trapped. Waiting for tbe next bs round of lets smear the innocent kind decent loving way too hard working mother and use her own kids to beat her to death...in the year 2014. It is the dark ages in the unlucky for well adjusted women and their children. Evil lives here.

10:22 AM  

Yes emotionally and verbally abusive men getting their 'new wife/girlfriend' to hurt their ex wife, just shows they are to coward to do it themselves. I don't want to fight with my ex's new wife, my problem is with HIM and how he had turned out to be a sorry excuse for a dad. He won't even call me to discuss anything. Rather it be the kids grades, problems they may be struggling with. The new wife thinks I am this crazy psychotic ex wife. When all I want is him to be there for our children. I have finally (for my own sanity and happiness) accepted that I cannot MAKE HIM BE A GOOD dad. It sucks for my kids. But I cannot force him to want to see or spend time with our kids.
As for his new wife, she is caught in the middle. But she put herself there. She has said things and done things that were inappropriate about me. And that I do not understand. I have never done anything to this woman. I have invited her to kids bdays, and informed her when my kids have something important - like school programs they are participating in. Hoping that We CAN ALL JUST GET ALONG. I accept that it's not gonna happen. What I can do is - do right by my children. Maybe one day their dad will come around.
But the more I call and beg him - the more he ignores and shuts me out. I am remarried, and I have to let go of trying with my kids father. And focus on my family, my husband and my kids.

8:12 AM  

You are more fortunate if the ex disappears into his all abour him life and leaves you and kids alone. I hope your new husband is a good man and dad. I am trapped in oz forced to cowtow to the ex sociopath 10 yrs now as he is only involved to treat kids as possessions and me as the whipping girl...a mere incubator and life support for his goods aka the kids. The courts force it down womens throats. My country family friends socioeconomic standing ripped away. The children stripped of grandparents and access to family and a free mom. Its sick. Put him behind you and keep taking your kids to 'the light'. You are free to persue happiness. Revel in it!

12:34 AM  

Follow your gut feeling but stand your ground if things 'go south'.

12:37 AM  

Thank you for your words. Someone actually saying it helps me to feel validated through this horrendous time in my life.

12:56 AM  

Wow I was married to a sociopathic and out daughter has similar traits of destruction through clear speech and taking everyone into her confidence. I ran away with her from him but these traits are in the brain from birth. When I try to explain people think I am evil and mad. they are different in that he did not give himself an 'e' Internet presence but she does, she tweets malicious things and plays the poor thing until some poor fool is taken into her trap, they are alienated against me so reaping what they sow she feels. The worst thing I ever did was confront her lies and offer help because the game increased. As the mother of one, you love your child and see the illness and hope for a cure and they would love you enough to cure themselves, but you have to get away. Not through choice but theywill destroy you and take pleasure in the destruction.
I have found that they put their actions onto their victim, what's more as the victim we believe their repentance. More because we want to and need to.
My x suicide attempts made me feel sorry for him and his life, the life he told me. He moved from these to complete adoration of me, then anger, control etc etc. He broke the law, he edged the grey area, he changed names took credit out in all manner of deceptive ways.
I don't know if victims ever remove the trace or the damage, the broken bones heal but the head scars are difficult to manage and people never believe you as it appears to be who shouts loudest is believed and the victims have learned to be quiet.
Maybe I am angry for my gullibility, maybe I wanted someone to go - I recognize that and I must get out - I feel I am cold turkey from my daughter as love needs to hear her but the relationship is toxic and the terms of she will not change. My x husband wouldn't divorce me, the game couldn't end but he has lots of silly women with babies all with the same story that it was the last one who destroyed him, he will look after them and suddenly he went! Leaving behind love notes and a trail of destruction!
When you say what jobs do they do, he was a reader and became that person, so from working as a labourer, he was an accountant, an it guru, marine etc! He changed his profile to fit the story he was telling and when found out had the next story ready, or suicide attempt!!!
Any woman, man or child, please believe you are worthy of a life without lies, without deceptive behaviour. They are addictive but can destroy you like alcohol and drugs.

5:19 AM  

Let your lawyer work for you. No contact !! It's all manipulation. Ask for your wife to pay lawyers fees for you if she does not show you where she spent the money. If she drags things on - then she is non compliant to the courts. I feel for you!! It is such a tough time. I don't think I could shed another tear over someone who I never imagine would do this to my kids and me. Stay strong and stay in touch with your lawyer kept pushing for this to be finished. Good luck. I'm done walking on eggshells. I hope soon the same for you.

11:25 PM  

one of my children's friends is a sociopath, she has targeted our family with lies about her home life, and because of her lies (that we believed) we took her in. We treated her as our own, and at times even better because we felt guilty for her poor home life. I woke up to the lies sooner than the others in the house, but couldn't convince them of the danger that I saw. She has been manipulating my husband and kids, and when the rest of my family finally woke up, she started telling lies about them. I fear that she may try to lie and say things to really hurt us. She seems to take pleasure in slandering people. I don't know if it is best to ignore everything that is said and hope that she moves on or should we do something else preemptive? Please help it's so scary!

8:52 AM  

IGNORE IT. IGNORE IT. Ignore it! I have had the same happen to me. You can't really get anywhere legally. Sociopath slandered me and made up fake website pretending to be me, portraying me very nasty. I actually filed a police report, and the police said she was cyber stalking. Don't know what ever happened of it. But after I did it guess who was online again accusing me of cyber stalking, being obsessed and jealous of her, and terrorizing her and her children? Yep. The sociopath. It only got uglier from there. She called my child's school and told them I use to be a prostitute and slept with under age boys!! I was mortified. Thank The Lord that the receptionist at the school knew my husband. And she knew this lady was a bucket of nuts. But finally I realized that everything she was doing was to GET ME TO REACT. When you slander normal good people, THEY GET EMOTIONAL AND UPSET! But the sociopath takes a persons real genuine emotions and turns them against them, then will play the victim and accuse them of all the Nasty things they have really been doing to the victim. They vilify the victim.
My advice to you is absolutely ignore her!! If she threatens physical harm to your family. FILE A POLICE REPORT IMMEDIATELY! Right now she is causing psychological harm to your family. And Unfortunately there's nothing you can do but be strong for your family. Advise them to ignore it. I took a break from getting online. Because of the slander she was posting on her Facebook and Twitter about me. My husband was her target at first. But he is calm and it never really affected him like it did me. SHE SAW THAT. So she turned her hate directly at me, why? Cuz I responded. I would take her bait. Every time. But not anymore. My husband and I have ignored the crap out of her. She kept up her slander for a good year. But people saw that she was the only one slandering. And they put 2 and 2 together. She is a known nut job in our community. Arrested for hot check after hot check, arrested for fraud and identity theft. It was obvious the lies she was spreading - no one was listening because she is such a crack head source. She has a horrible reputation. And attacking me only made people hate her more.
If you just ignore this person. You basically let go of the rope. And she will eventually hang herself. Most sociopaths are not killers. Women especially. They may kill you emotionally, and make you a little bitter if you let them. But they usually don't go on a homicidal rampage. They stick to character assassination. Please just tell you children not to respond or retaliate. Because with a sociopath it's almost impossible to win that battle. They have no soul. No heart. No conscience... You have a heart, soul and conscience. You are affected by this. And you can't fight with someone who has no remorse about anything. And cares about no one.
I have been where you are. And it is bad. It feels like you have no control and you are drowning. And you can't get out of the hole. But I promise you (I'm proof) that you can. My child is 11 now and was 6 when all this started. She had some issues at school because she saw my stress. But after I accepted I could not stop this crazy lunatic woman, and I focused on myself and child and husband, and I stopped trying to look up what she was saying today, I found peace. My child did too. She is now straight A student (she was already smart she just acted out at school) she no longer acts out. She is respectful. She makes friends easily. Everything is better. But it was hell. My heart hurts when I see people desperately looking for help on what to do when they become a target of a sociopath. I wish I could help. But I cant. I can only tell you my experience, my mistakes and what I learned

Take care. Please keep us updated on things.

4:23 PM  

Once you've crossed paths with a Sociopath, you'll never look at people the same EVER again!

5:41 AM  

Yep. Once you have been the target of an evil nasty sociopath. You lose faith in humanity. Because you look up on ways to cope and deal and you read all these horror stories that are worse than yours, different, but all basically the same as in we HAVE ALL ENCOUNTERED EVIL.. Maybe I was raised in a sheltered home. With 2 loving parents. And I wasn't exposed to sociopathic behaviors. Yeah there was the middle school high school mean girl drama. And that can make you feel pretty bad about yourself. But it ends! You leave high school! But the psychological trauma that you suffer at the hands of an adult bully, who uses covert abuse tactics and literally devotes every minute of every day to slander you and destroy you is beyond anything I could imagine. They can make you question everybting about yourself. I have lost myself in this whole experience. They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I don't know sometimes. I feel like what doesn't kill you, slowly erodes away your self esteem, until you feel like you are nobody. And you want to isolate and just never leave your home...

I guess I have been down a long hard road. And actually I am healing. But I am not strong yet. at one point i felt hopless and felt there was no point. That this person was going to destroy me. I even read that "no one can obstruct the will of a sociopath" and you can't beat a sociopath so don't even try. But eventually after ignoring and ignoring and disabling all social media accounts. The slander stopped online. But she is still telling lies about me to any one who will listen.

10:50 PM  

I know what you are going through. After I caught my cop husband of more than 20 years in an affair with a young female co worker, all hell broke lose. He tried to send me to a mental institution claiming I was mortally ill, he changed all bank accounts and left my and I with nothing. Well, the psychatrist knew the ex was abiding his cop powers. My answer was a divorce petition. I cut of all contact , hired an aggressive make attorney and took him to court. It was a nasty divorce, dragged on for over a year. But I came out the winner. I was awarded permanent spousal support. The ex, he lost it all. His family , his past, his home, his money and for what ? Sone hot sex with that little minion. Please , she can have him. She can be at the receiving end of his lies and anger outbursts now. The only solution with a narcisisst or sociopath is run , divorce him, leave him. They will never change. And be prepared to go to war in the courtroom. I will never look at him again in my life. I deserve so
Much better. I am so over it. My life is good now. No more lies, betrayals and manipulation. :)

6:18 PM  

Everything is your fault. All. They will never change. The only option is to leave, divorce, end it. I tried and I tried and all is got was more lies, more cheating. So tired of it. My life is good now. I might have lost material things on this divorce but I have my self respect, my dignity. And I sure don't want any std from these whores he was messing around with. They can have him. Loser that's all I can say. I am sad those evil creatures exist. And yes they are in all kinds if professions. Mine was a highly decorated army retiree and then a respected cop.

10:28 PM  

This post above I can relate to. This is me too. I can't even leave my house without serious labor. I don't feel like socializing at all. He sucked my faith in myself and God right out of me and left me a shell of myself. He got married on my birthday to hurt me more. I had a nervous breakdown from what he has done to me. He once adored me so much but then changed over time to head games and lies and then when I was finally so on board to loving him he dumped me. He was baiting me for weeks to piss me off and it finally did so he blamed the break up on my temper, then when I ran to therapy to change me for losing it he found a different reaon to break up. It was a twisted game for him. I am so afraid that I will never be happy im my life again.

12:17 PM  

Early detection should surely be one of our goals. As Dr. Robert Hare put it so succinctly: “[I]f we can’t spot them, we are doomed to be their victims both as individuals and as a society.” http://snip.ly/xpx8

Psychopaths create false personalities, and the Hare checklist doesn't expose hidden 'paths. So, I created a list "How to Spot a ProSocial Psychopath" (aka sociopath or covert malignant narcissist) by the combination of dysfunctional habits (no matter what their personality!) https://www.facebook.com/notes/psychopathy-genetics/how-to-spot-a-pro-social-psychopath/781795738538803

5:14 PM  

A girl was trying to pull apart my family for her own pleasure, I told a friend everything for about 6 months keeping him up to date because I knew she wouldnt stop and i needed a witness, eventually i realized he is the same as her, he is very self aware that he is a psychopath, and sucked me in, he is now obsessed with this girl and they have both turned on me and are slowly turning everyone else against me, so i have two psychopaths out to get me, trouble is I am their supervisor at work and every time I try to explain myself I come off paranoid and crazy, I cant leave or I lose a lot of money but if I stay i could lose a lot more, my partner wants me to tough it out and so does my manager, they are the only two that can kind of see it, but I know if I make an official report they will take this outside of work and it will affect my partner and kids, I am recieving death threats and constant mind games from a growing group of people

Please help

1:34 AM  

I more recently found out my sister is a narcissist who is trying to steal my adult daughter away from me by making things up about me. My daughter has formed a close bond with her that I thought was ok until I realized both the depth of my sister's condition and her relationship with my daughter. It is too hard to just keep silent and let my daughter go but right now my daughter is fully under her spell. She is more of a world traveller and has more $ both of which appeal to my daughter. Everything I read says let it run its course and eventually my daughter will see her true colors, but my sister has no children of her own (thank god) so she has set her sights on mine. Please help, the nightmares wont stop.

7:45 PM  

Omg, I never imagined there were more people suffering in relationships in the exact way I am! I have been w a trust fund 50 year old baby for almost 5 years. I've tried to leave more than half a dozen times, he threatens me w serious consequences to bring me back. Police, abuse groups and the legal system have all been thwarted by him. I'm not allowed to work, have money, go anywhere by myself. I am a beautiful intelligent woman who was fooled manipulated and trapped in this scenario, and wish to just leave, unscathed.

11:38 AM  



Primewire ag is a site where its set up to harass people or cyberstalked them the mods and the admin are all sociopath ready to devour anyone who not from there clique unfortunately there many people who are taken suckered into this site making it seem innocent but the truth of the matter behind these forums when the people running the sites have some sort of psychopath drive to torture people online because in real life they are losers that have nothing to really offer anyone so please spread this news out be very careful this site is not to be taken lightly all the people which chats are trolls the forums is set out to target who ever they seem fit which they have taken into there blacklist.. and everything is aimed for targeted individual may it be because the person doesnt believe in their ideology or they dont want to joined their sick games. this site should be banned,
primewire ag a site of perverts and psychopaths and sociopaths,,
aiming to cybergangstalk innocent people just for fun and games just check out all the people that have never came back those are all the people the have harass its disgusting… and dangerous for the youth as well they have soft porn on this site mixed in with pg 13 movies,
hopefully the site will be banned.. but as many people are scared not to give out the information,,, it must be known..
no one to trust on that site but to inform the internet so other people wont fall into this trap…

1:33 PM  

My 29 year old son is a narcissistic, sociopath. Although he always did well in school, graduating at the top of his class, which earned him a full scholarship to college. He flunked out in his second semester, and when he received the letter in the mail telling him, he flipped out on his sister, blaming her. It would have been me, but I happened to be at work. He has, since puberty, treated both myself and my daughter like crap. He was kicked out of the Navy for threatening to kill his wife, and the guy he claims was her boyfriend. He only married her to be able to stay in the country, instead of being sent over seas. I made the mistake of letting him move back in after the Navy, and he verbally abused both me and my daughter for the six months he was here. Thank God, he went back to college, and moved a couple of hours away. Anything I say, or even an expression on my face, sends him over the edge. I've learned to keep my voice level, when speaking to him, in order not to set him off. If I try to do something nice for him, he turns it into something horrible. He is so good at lying, and pretending to be nice, that he now has my own family doubting my sanity. He and his girlfriend live with my sister,(parasite) because I refused to let him come back here, and verbally abuse and threaten me. Now, the girlfriend is pregnant, and sadly, I don't want anything to do with my future grandchild, because it will just set me up for more abuse. The only people that believe me that he's a narcissistic sociopath are my daughter and my husband, because they've lived with him. Everybody else just loves him so much, but I know he flips on the girlfriend, a lot, but she's much younger than he is and puts up with it. She's accused him of being bipolar, but it's much worse. So, there was a scene this morning that he started with me, and once again he has convinced my family that I'm crazy and selfish. I've decided to change my phone number, and just write him off, besides when he does one day go completely off the deep end, I don't want to be the first one he kills. I've decided to take my life back by letting him completely go, if I don't I will lose my sanity.

1:55 PM  

old people can also be sociopaths as we found out too late. The little old lady next door turned out to be a master at lying and manipulation. In the year we have lived next door to her she has destroyed our reputations, made us outcasts and in the process gotten many improvements made to her home by people rallying to her aid as a "god fearing little old lady". I cannot express how devastated our family feels living next to this woman. Why would she pick on us?????? I've come to the realization after reading this article that she does because she can.. No doubt she has left a trail of destruction prior to moving to a retirement community - I can't imagine a worse place for a sociopath to run riot.

7:39 AM  

I find this highly offensive. I am what some doctors have haphazardly diagnosed as "borderline sociopathic", while I display many characteristics of being a sociopath I still retain enough of a grasp on reality to not be considered completely gone. And honestly, at least for people in the same boat as me, there is a simple 2 step method to dealing with any of us. Find out what it is they are currently focused on AND HELP THEM WITH IT! If they cast blame on you for something failing, don't take it personally. From the perspective of a sociopath, they don't realize that what they're doing is wrong, and honestly, right and wrong are all subjective opinions anyways. Everything in the universe is subjective with the exception of the speed of light, as it doesn't change unless we tamper with it (modern science has proven we can almost freeze light). All I'm saying is to damn these people for a social disorder makes you less of a person than they are. Doctors saying that people with social disorders are untreatable are just being a bunch of lazy cock suckers. It requires intense, in-depth, and daily "treatment", but people with social disorders can live productive lives just like the rest of you dollar chasing slaves out there.

6:16 PM  

Why in the hell would somebody help someone who is only going to drain every ounce of energy they have out of them. Someone like you doesn't really want help they are looking for someone to target and suck their blood. They don't care about anyone but themselves, they are out to hurt to manipulate and make people's lives just difficult. If there is not chaos surrounding them, they start chaos. They are evil. My description of evil would be somebody who enjoys watching others struggle and have a difficult life. Sociopaths love to watch others struggle they intentionally keep people who care for them on their toes. They are not Loyal they are cheaters liars and I will stab you in the back literally and metaphorically speaking. Why should caring and giving people help someone who is only going to drain them physically emotionally mentally and financially?

The only reason they blame everyone is because they are so incompetent they don't want to do anything for themselves. Functioning adults take responsibility for their actions and except any consequences from them. When you're 40 something years old and you are unable to do that you're a dysfunctional bank, and you don't deserve the help of kind people. Sociopaths want everything to be given to them and they do not want to put any work towards it. I think all of us would love things to be given to us, but the reality is we know we have to work for it. So she'll pass think they are so entitled and special but they shouldn't have to. When there's nothing special about them.

8:47 AM  

My marriage to my husband of 27 years sounds exactly like this.I was the only one there when he had a stroke& when he was in rehab.and the only thing he said to me after that was you didn't help me God healed me.& said so you were there so what.

12:11 AM  

How do you escape from the harassment and stalking of a psychopath who lied and claimed that you were the psychopath? How do you get away from someone who slandered you for so long that he doesn't even have to be there anymore to cause you pain? Half my community knows what I look like because of him and gives me grief on his behalf. How do I escape a rapist who not only raped my body but raped my life? He took things that were true and mixed them with things that were false so that it would be more believable. Now when I go about just being myself if something jives with what he said, because it is true of me, then it seems as if every lie he spoke is real as well. How do I get to have back the life he ended?

1:09 AM  

The sociopath always will fall in the end. It may take many years. But in my experience they fall. The sociopath I know and have no contact with whatsoever was a successful assistant distract attorney in her "glory" days. That was when she was on top of the world-or so she thought. She wanted to have children so so so bad but was unable. Even after many failed fertility treatments. Finally she got pregnant and that pregnancy was unsuccessful after many more she finally has a some what successful one. Although it was premature birth and baby was in hospital on ventilator for months.
After all that of wanting a child so bad with her now ex husband. It was soon after she started an affair with a married man from her work- the public defense attorney. She never spent time with the child she wanted SO SO BAD. SHE was carrying on with many men. But it was the defense attorney that was her down fall. As soon as the state found out of the affair she was fired.
She started her own legal practice. Only to steal from her clients. Never showing up for court. She took the $5000-$10000 retainer fee and never did anything for them or their case. So many complaints were filed, finally the state bar disbarred her. Her lofe went downhill after. She was arrested for drug possession, hot checks, driving under influence, driving with suspended license.
She now sits in jail - still making peoples lives Miserable. The child she wanted so bad has never known her mother. And the small time she spend with daughter before jail, she turned her against the father who was a kind loving man. Entire family ripped apart by this sociopath woman who is so deceptive and evil. She is old now and can't screw around with numerous men cuz no one wants her. She is lonely, yet stil has no remorse for ANYTHIng. She is in jail blaming others for her situation. A true evil person. This woman is so evil, she may not have killed anyone physically but mentally and emotionally she has murdered so many innocent people. She has killed their joy and zest for life. She is bad person

7:49 AM  

This is amazing to me. I have survived and thrived after a short marriage (10 months) to a sociopath.

This is a great forum I haven't seen yet!!

Reading all this is encouraging and overwhelming. I agree 100% with the comment that sociopaths are evil.

My former "husband" is an entity of evil rather than human.

It is so hard to believe; so hard to grasp the fact that really, really, really and truly there are beings - so to speak - who pretend to be human only to use and abuse us.

I realized my "husband" knew exactly what he was doing and he loved it! He also knew he was not like normal people.

It was bizarre to be in his fantasy world -- since it's all lies I call it fantasy -- and then to have discovered the reality of him, and then be able to step out of the fantasy and in a way become like him.

-- I was able to let him think I still trusted him, but could in fact see through him and used his weaknesses to get away from him.

I had to trick him into moving out for my safety. I was afraid for my life to let him understand that I had discovered he was insane.

I was incredibly terrified leading up to the moment I asked him to leave having discovered his other wives, kids and that he had stolen from me, and during the 10 days between asking him to leave and when he did finally go.

That's when the real battle began. I had to prove grounds for annulment, fight and win a bogus restraining order he tried to get on me. Convince police to accept a felony theft report on him and report his immigration fraud - I had sponsored him to get a green card.

I was able to do it because I read things online defining a con artist, a sociopath and antisocial psychopathy. I memorized their tendencies and characteristics.

When consumed with fear about what he'd do next, or each time a new realization of a particular interchange between use, or the truth of a lie he had told went off like a light bulb I'd recall this list to frame it on.

I also had a psychotherapist friend who confirmed my research.

This knowledge let me take the emotionalism and confusion out of the horror. I'd look at it from his kind of mind and know I was safe and that I could win my life and health back!

I so feel for all of you. Here's love and respect!

7:00 PM  

My mother in law who is not really my in law she s a girlfriend of my husbands father... has isolated us from most people . She s been hurting us for 18 years. The fathervin law we suspect has a similar illness or demons we like to call them.
Name it . She did it to us ,, not only to us but to others.
Seeing people falling prey to her fakeness is the worst when you know
she s never let you share one meal with my husband s father in all those years.
How we survived the hurt i dont know.
We moved as far away from her and she still finds ways to attack us especially with facebook.
I use to write poetry and other that would appear in my hometown paper
and she must have been very jealous then because she who had never written two words in a christmas card has taken over my writing in my OWN
town paper.
She did everything for us to feel so threatened that we left my husbands family farm / business after she And him broke in and remove all seven fire exting. apparels from inside the 100 yr old farmhousr( not sure how they had planned to do it, but writing this i have goosebumps and a littl panic attack)
Lately she s been worst attacking me on fb with different tactics and of course accounts because the old man
is sick at 74 and my husband being a only child and the mother having taken her own life years ago ..she is even threatening me to stay clear.
This is the scarier part.
This is where she feels most threatened just because we come in between her and her lottery ticket :
my father in law s estate and my husband being a only child of his.
I dont doubt she will invent other fears and that she will again use the police to
attain credibility.
YOU have no idea how this life of hell she put us through is similar to a horror movie.
from killing her own 15 pound cat with her bare hands to drowning another in a toilet bowl to sleeping with the village priest!
and .. what we do not know!
Be Strong i tell myself.

11:32 PM  

I kept daily written notes for over a year of how my mom treated my dad and the difference she made between my sister and I. mom treated dad like crap, laughing at him for being in a wheelchair and not able to go where he wanted to go. I saw the tears he cried and all she did was laugh. When I went to see him all she said was I don't want to take care of him anymore. She hired a hospice person to give her the legal way to kill him. He passed away this year. Funeral was all about her. We do not talk at all..now she is calling my husband and sending me cards while telling others I refuse to talk to her and she doesn't know why. I don't want to tell others why so I just let her tell lies.

2:52 AM  

Omg! This is for Anonymous who left post at 11:32..
THAT IS WHAT SELF ABSORBED NARCISSISTIC SOCIOPATHS DO! They make EVERYTHING ALL about them!! Even someone elses funeral. That is exactly what my cousin did when our grandmother died.
First off SHE NEVER GAVE A crap about her grandmother (or anyone else for that matter). It was my family who put her in the best care possible towards the end of her life. The only reason my narcissistic cousin ever came to see her grandmother, was to STEAL HER PAIN MEDICATIONS, sleep meds, and anything else she could find to get High from.

When grandmother died (she was only a few months from being 100 years old!) OF COURSE MY PSYCHOTIC COUSIN IS DEVASTATED ALL THE SUDDEN! She is so upset, crying and whaling and even touching the body inappropriately at the wake. Like holding grandmothers embalmed hands and putting a necklace on her. And putting her head close to grandmothers in the caskets and saying "she is so peaceful". I am assuming my cousin was really messed up on her drugs. But she literally turned grandmothers funeral (also my grandmother) a very respected lady in our community - INTO A FREAK SHOW SPECTICAL!
So after all that craziness was over, the funeral, etc...
My family get served with papers that we are being sued by my aunt, my crazy aunt who is a little minion for my cousin. My aunt is supposedly suing my family because my grandmother was in our care at the time, as my family owns assisted living homes, nursing homes, hospices. Claiming that my grandmother died because of elder abuse. That was my moms mothers!!! Why would my mom abuse her 99 year old mother! Our family is well off, we don't need the inheritance!
The fact was is that my trashy aunt suing us, was doing this for my cousin. My aunt is not smart, my cousin use to be a lawyer, until she was disbarred for fraud, corruption, identity theft, and immoral acts. My aunt could have never drawn up legal papers like that.
But my dad said "this is not *crazycousins* first time to try to squeeze money out of us, won't be her last. Finally the crazy aunt, came to my dad. Admitted everything she had done for my cousin and was crying and begging for forgiveness. Of course we new that the entire time. And no hard feelings for her.
AS FOR MY Psychopathic COUSIN - she is out of this family. My entire family will NOt ATTEND ANY function she is at. Most of my family will not either. My other aunt who is my cousins mother is a sweet lady, but she has a big mouth. If we tell her about a family get to together. She will tell her daughter, my crazy cousin. So we have had to stop telling her about family stuff, which is sad, because she is older and needs family. Besides her psychotic daughter who is bleeding her dry before she dies.

9:28 AM  

I was married to a Sociopath for 16 years. After the children were born I felt it was my duty to stay. I would make the best of it and turn the other cheek. As the years went on it seemed the more I bent to keep the peace the more she became encouraged. When I finally decided to jump off the cliff into the unknown because I was completely exhaused, I was met with a Court System that was more than happy to entertain the Sociopath. I fought for my survival. Living on the street while paying outrageous alimony and keeping my great job. You know it felt like a collective Sociopathy. The system seemed to condon this behavior. I have lost my trust in people and have seen a sickness I could have never imagined.

6:12 PM  

In court how do you let a judge know in court that you are dealing with a sociopath? This man ate up so much of my time proving his lies, that when the time came to show the exhibits, there was no time to show important exhibits.

10:30 AM  

We are currently dealing with one of these S' that is using religion ("god" does everything for them), and they had a "terrible childhood they survived"- to manipulate people in the family. Two of us can see what is happening, and now I have become one of her targets (They think I'm witch, or some baloney)... and I've become the "bad guy" in all of her twisted lies. Been keeping my mouth shut tightly, and the S keeps trying to drag me back in. S is abusing a parent (living together) and young adult minor. The parent is blind and the minor is trapped. The other parent (ex) is now involved, but is also a target, and doesn't want to get her kid punished for us "knowing" about the S's game. What a web this one has woven... and they're supposedly planning a wedding which we will decline attending because we fear some sort of trap (since my partner is also a potential target, and he's the sibling of the abused). What a boondoggle...

7:31 PM  

I'm really sorry she is doing this to you. My stepdaughter just moved out two weeks ago on her 18th birthday. The drama and secrecy in moving out would be hysterical if it were not so pathetic. She conned someone with her innocent routine and cries of abuse. The abuse she speaks of? All on HER part. She was determined to destroy her father's marriage and when it didn't work, she decided to "punish" us. We were relieved when she left, despite the high drama that came with it.. Moving like she was in witness protection. "Slavery" in the form of unloading the dishwasher once a week. A plan SHE came up with for a smart phone. Yes, sadly, you are going to pay for taking her in. Get her out ASAP. If you have money, find an attorney. If not, contact the county. You can't get people to listen. They are really really convincing (she got you didn't she?). Ignore what you can because you will not win seriously? If you can . count your blessing you are getting away relatively freely and oitybthe poor sap that she is suckung dry now.

2:58 PM  

I have an older sister who is a covert sociopath. I knew something was wrong with her when we were children but I wasn't quite sure what it was. There were exaggerated emotions and exaggerated facial expressions, lies, manipulating family members, playing head games, attention-seeking and playing the victim. Lies and manipulation are the two main behaviors that stand out. Over the years she has been in trouble with the law, had an affair and broken up her marriage, targeted many many people both family and non-family to hurt, been fired from several jobs and skips out on rent or other payments that she owes. Her credit is terrible. She has never fully supported herself. She manipulated my father to help her all her life and now that he has died is now on disability. She had a gambling and alcohol problem for a while too. I read Dr. Stouts book, "The Sociopath Next Door" and it was a validation to what I have witnessed these 50+ years. The best and only thing to do with a sociopath is disconnect from them. Don't try to play games and outsmart them. Just disconnect and get on with your lives. And don't waste precious time and mental energy trying to figure them out. Just move on with your life and make it happy. You can never have a relationship with a sociopath. They will destroy you if you let them get close. Only a miracle from God would ever change them. Protect yourself and don't let them into your life.

4:07 PM  

I'm currently with someone like this. I have a very good memory and can recall conversations from years ago verbatim. I've been putting 2 and 2 together lately and noticing all the lies. When I make a flip comment like: "Oh, you told me earlier it was this..." He will deny it or say I meant it as this. Once, I joked that he wouldn't have a leg to stand on if I put hidden mics all over the house. He became very agitated and pretty much told me that would be a violation of his privacy and that I couldn't legally record him without his permission. He didn't like it even more when I told him as long as I was a participant in the conversation I could record whatever I wanted without telling him jack.
I've decided that I'm leaving him, but I just signed my lease in November and have 15 months left. Wish me luck, I think I'm gonna go install those mics!

12:26 PM  

I just removed myself from a long distance sociopath. I am a vocalist and writer and he happened to like my writing and pushed for a relationship. He was a musician and producer. Very little emotional but more friendship ensued and he really never showed concern for anyone but himself. He wined and conned me out of money with promise of repayment and always had a sob story as to why he couldn't pay. He had no soul and didn't care. The relationship lasted 6 years with nighty calls and one meeting. When I pressed him for repayment, he started talking to a lot of other women and flirting behind my back He had no soul and no respect for anyone but himself. He had told me that he had gone through some psych therapy when he was younger but would not tell me what it was for but after reading this I realize his problem. He never paid me back and I realized he wasn't going to and everything he tells women is a lie. I actually feel sorry for him but do not want anything to do with him. He hurt my feelings terribly. But I am stronger than the pain and am recovering the wiser person.

8:24 PM  

I just figured out I have to seperate from my family cause their serial/sociopaths my dad serialharassed me and twisted my words in others views so that they wont believe me will think I'm crazy and gets others to multi stalk me so I will kill myself. Hes very cunning and people actually believe him. He told me he wouldn't.
He told me this isn't what he would do. But he did. My life got many times worse after I moved into the country. Well I would never live i the city people there are shamblers their dicks there so many bad people there now I cant stand to be in the city but people there are just turned to ostracize me. People are destroying me from every direction I cant tell anyone I'll look like an antisocial maschevious bitch if I tell anyone what they did. I cannot believe this.

2:05 AM  

My older sister is also a sociopath. My dad is not her real father. Her real father drug overdosed when she was very young. Young enough hat she doesn't remember it. My mom is an alcoholic. But she is a good person. A lot of her drinking prob has to do with my older sister bullying her all her life. She has hit my elderly mother, chased her around there house with scissors, threatening to kill her if she didn't let her borrow or have a car (this was when my sister was in early 40's. She has destroyed her life with drug use and lying. She has been married 4 times. She cheated on her ex husband with a man 35 years her senior. And got fired from her job. Now all she does with her life is stalk and harass the ex husband and his new wife. She has been doing that for the past 6 years. She is obsessed with getting revenge on both her ex and his wife. It's sad. I like them both, but when my sister figured this out she threatened me that if I ever talked to them again she would do horrible things to me. She has tried to ruin my reputation but telling people I am on psychiatric meds. When I was over weight she called me fat and ugly and gross. So I dedicated to losing weight the healthy way. And when I lost the weight and was actually healthy and feeling good. She never once said she was proud of me for losing weight. I lost like 130 lbs. but she was quick to put me down more when I gained a little back. She is angry and mean. She has ruined her own life. And she is ruining her children's. She manipulates people with the children . So many people refuse to deal with her anymore snd the children because they know the drama that comes with it. She wanted to put her children in my sons school but I couldn't allow it. Because of the problems she would cause my child. She is lazy and would start depending on me to cow tow her children everywhere. When I told her no,, she was angry and told her child that I didn't want him at the school. Which messed him up mentally. He feels in secure and is an awkward child. It's so sad how many lives she is destroying. I don't speak with her ex anymore. But I heard he was dying from cancer. She doesn't csre tho. She is worried that if he does she won't be able to take his money anymore. And the new wife will get to collect the 2 million dollar life insurance policy. After everything my sister has done to that girl, I doubt she will give a dime of that money to my sister. I don't blame her. My sister tormented me when I was a kid and she is still doing it today. She bully's my entire family. She even accused my dad of molesting her. When he wouldn't put her in the family trust. She wanted him to adopt her. But he wouldn't do it because he saw her evil a long time ago.
It's so sad

8:53 AM  

Pushed out and demonized? If you have the kids, and their father is a sociopath - why would you expect him to be a father to the kids. You are lucky if he has no interaction with the children. As all interaction will could be potentially dangerous to your children's mental health. You say he is a dead beat and irresponsible - well If he is a sociopath - What did you expect? Change? Of course the sociopath will get the new woman or man to stand up to anyone he/she despises. The more people the sociopath has to smear the victim the more power they feel they have.
So you figured out you married and created children with a sociopath and you are unhappy that he is not being a "good" father to his children? What else did you expect from a sociopath? They are not "GOOD" people in general. Of course they are not going to be loving or good parents. They ONLY care about themselves.
Consider yourself lucky if this man is not in your childrens life. As if he was, they will suffer emotional harm. Sociopaths cheat, lie, steal and live reckless lives. Do you really want your children to be a part of that

5:45 AM  

Robin, I think the only way to find a group is to start a group. I've been looking for the last 6 months. My son is a sociopath, he is 24 and in the last 16 months he has forced me to give him my entire savings. He became violent and used manipulation, intimidation extortion, and destruction so clean me completely out of $140k, these people who you love as family are truly sick, put up your guard, do not verbally fight back because you cannot win. I am 60 and fully disabled from dying during surgery when I was 51. I would gladly talk to you anytime but what ever you chose, BE CAREFUL!!!

11:01 PM  

Robin, I think the only way to find a group is to start a group. I've been looking for the last 6 months. My son is a sociopath, he is 24 and in the last 16 months he has forced me to give him my entire savings. He became violent and used manipulation, intimidation extortion, and destruction so clean me completely out of $140k, these people who you love as family are truly sick, put up your guard, do not verbally fight back because you cannot win. I am 60 and fully disabled from dying during surgery when I was 51. I would gladly talk to you anytime but what ever you chose, BE CAREFUL!!!

11:03 PM  

My twin sister has been like this for so long everyone used to believe her I was put into care beacause of her behaviour.
She was impossible to live with and used to tell my freinds lies about me for her own gain we are 32 now and she is worse than ever... My family found out in time and she has done some disgusting things... Including lies about others it is a horrible thing to witness especially when in is your twin

1:26 PM  

omg, wow the similarities are astonishing, I think sometimes the abuse is intentional to inflict pain, discredit you and make it seem like your the crazy one, he.belittles me, insults me, curses at me, in the past was physical 1 time and never again as I fought back however the verbal abuse intensified and character assassination so to speak, they want to belittle, insult you and destroy any sign of confidence you have inside. I've heard the I'm sorries or I'm gonna get counseling, I'm gonna stop, all lies, I am now in another state and trapped because now I am in search for employment and stuck in this cycle, no family and friends here and the nightmare continues never knowing what's gonna set him off, I don't trust him with anything, he has.cheated.before, lies.constantly and just very untrustworthy and makes me want to be alone in NO relationship, its draining.... To me his.behavior tends to be on the edge of psychotic. He wants complete control of his partner and if you show any sign of resistance he gets mentally unstable.

4:06 PM  

Im so sorry for you , here Ive felt so helpless and my mind has been twisted from a man who I lived life with long enough to believe this was for real, forever and perfect love, short lived when i consider the time he spent destroying me, he knew exactly when, how hard to come at me and when to reel me back in because lets face it, people cant survive without love and just when i felt enough pain that never ended, he would sob and shameful words of himself would pour out and he heald me and so deeply felt because when a person is starving to death anything they can eat will be welcomed. Your son wants to control everyone. As a mother with a 27 year old son who has the greatest heart can rip my heart into two and show no mercy, that is when he has been weak to his addiction zanex. His doctor prescribed to him for anxiety that he had for his physical genetic disability that began showing slight signs at age 20...it has taken a course for bad to so bad but his addiction truly caused him more problems. Your son may or may not be a sociopath, the hardest thing Ive had to do was learn to let him know he is a grown man in years and his mentality needed to catch up with that, it is true love of a mother to let the birds leave the nest by pushing them off, if they are going to survive this big cruel world then they have to grow from experiences of thier own, if mom keeps carrying his little boy tantrums he will continue to be just that. You need to put your time and love into the other children, its not fair that he has been consuming all of you, your nurturing has came to the end as a mother, its time now as a mother of adult children to enjoy them at an adult level. If they are not being a man with honor and respect then they have to learn this and the only way is to be without you at all for a long time. Your duty as a mother is to love him so much that your pain from his absence is a sacrifice as his mother, you will keep him weak by continuing allowing his behavior, my son finally got it but i told him do not contact me until you call because you miss me and want to know how i am, you son are very aware of the depth my love is for you and I realize that you are taking full advantage of this in a very unproductive negative choice. When you find the blessing for such a loving mother then you are welcome to it, I know this will take a long time and I hope it wont take a lifetime but if thats your choice then your a man now and i have to accept this. I gave you life and gave you all I had and more to prepare you to be healthy , happy and a good head start on your journey after me...I will always miss you but I will not miss the pain you dont care of causing me. Back to you mom from this mom, I hope I helped you, God is going to be your strength and just talk to him daily asking his will and your wisdom through it, also thank him for your blessings that your other children are so grounded and loving, some parents end up with no respect from any of thier kids....�� smile anyways mom because you do deserve it...

4:53 AM  

Omg, same amount of time, same behavior to the T...we have to give up, they have us feeling like they were wrong to love us, they made a mistake after they got to know us, well guess what...they know this isnt the case, nobody was going to fit the bill because they dont understand love ..love for them is to the extreme of conditional, the conditions never cease to grow , its a never ending list and each time you find out a lie of his, he will have a new reason that he cant stand you..your fault you freeloader , thats the one that mine decided to come up with after all my money was spent and I wasnt working because when we met, i was on unemployment and he told me I didnt have to go back to work ever because he makes plenty of money.....well he does,,, 200 grand yrly at a very huge well known company for 34 yrs...but he cant pay a bill if his house depended on it as he finally lost his home after 20 yrs, its of course my fault even though i saved it twice...he has a horrible gambling problem, he is a relentless cheater and liar...why doesnt he stay single and just screw around?? I believe the woman who truly loves him takes care of him is the reason and the excitement of forbidden sneaky sex with a very dirty dumb woman is also thier thing...once we start calling them on thier shit then we become the target for destruction...its not going to change and the only thing changing is our self worth and our mental stability is critical after that amount of degredation.....im heartbroken, very angry, very depressed, very bewildered when i put the face of my husband with the description i just gave but if we were to stand outside of the box, what would we have to say about the situation...I would feel so bad for me but more bad to know that anymore time with him is not only waisted but more damage to us and the quality of our lives being at risk for after we find our way out, the next few years will be finding our way out of the confused, scared distrusting frame of mind they caused.

5:18 AM  

I never realized until far too late, that the "friend" I hired to work with me is a narcissistic sociopath. We spent at least eight hours a day together, working in close quarters. I thought we were both adult enough to have a male/female working relationship.

For the first 18 months, we did fine. This was the "adoration bombing" phase where she was in awe of what I did, so supporting. Manipulating her way into the job, making sure I thought the world of her... couldn't do without her and she absolutely thinking I was the best...

Many times she would say or do something that would make me wonder... self pity, manipulating a story that she had just told me, for someone else. Fawning over others, the "Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm" side of her. I just chalked these up and kept going.

After two years, things took a turn. Communication became cold, short, terse. She went behind my back on a few sizable occasions. I continued to believe that as "friends", we were just a conversation away from fixing everything and being friends again and working together. Tear the wall down between us.

She dodged every attempt to converse as adults. Never having the time of never feeling comfortable doing so.

She was still a "friend" and I just kept sandboxing her, note-to-self on her "quirks." Huge mistake...

After five years we had a two hour axe grinding session, where she just ripped into me on every front. They were the furthest from the truth, I was in awe as to what was coming out of her mouth...

She decided then it was time to destroy me. She went to administration and claimed that I had been sexually harassing her since day one. I also created a hostile work environment. That famous combination... There was so much more that she lied about to administration.

When it became apparent to her that they would not fire me, she threatened to sue and make things very messy. This is at an independent school also very close to the beginning of the school year.

Administration threw me under the bus, rather than deal with her, ended my career at a "job" I loved and thought I would retire from.

I finally put all of her "personality pieces" together recently and solved the puzzle. She's a Narcissistic Sociopath.

So many of the traits that I have read about, I can put a "check in the box."

Had I not treated her as a friend, even when things went south, and rather started putting the puzzle pieces together, I think the outcome would have been very different.

She continues to be employed at the school. I have stayed very much in contact with all of my former colleagues and can say that she has near zero friends there. The Head of School was essentially fired at the end of the year, in part because of how they did, or did not, handle this.

She is very dangerous and I hope to never have another person like that cross into my life again. Unfortunately I will be less trusting of people.

I am so glad that I did the reading and research to put the puzzle together. It has helped me a lot to understand the how and why. So unsettling that this is who she is and there is no "getting better" for her.

I hope for her daughter's sake that she does not follow in her foot steps. I've always wondered how her husband puts up with her "quirks." He was a psych major in college.

I am still trying to put all of this behind me, but to lose the job/career you love because of someone like this, isn't easy.

Lessons learned.

3:59 PM  

My ex wife is a sociopath. She is so evil. I use to think she was the love of my life. She cheated on me so many times. After she got busted for using the man she was sleeping with ex wife's credit card in the Bahamas, I had enough. It was DIVORCE time. I had to think about my 2 small children at the time. I didn't want them to not have a mother in their life. But I knew she would never take care of them. She would just send them off to their granny's or to her sisters, every time they went to see her. I was right, she did that. She was not an active mother figure in their life from the time my son was 4 years old, up until now (he is 13). And my daughter was 7 then, she is 16 now. My daughter is obviously "mothers favorite". She started taking a more active role in my daughters life about 2 years, when my daughter was 13 or 14. But she could care less about my son. She neglects him, she doesn't treat him like she loves him. My son wants to be loved so badly. I never speak negative of my ex wife to my kids. But I have told my son, he can come live with us. But he said that he didn't know, because he was scared if he did mom would be mad.
She probably would be mad, but not that my son would no longer live with her, but that she would look like something other than a "perfect mom". Everyone in this community knows what kind of human being she is. She has screwed so many people over, they no longer are willing to listen to her excuses, blaming, and deflecting. Everyone has basically had enough of it.
Right now I am batting cancer. Of course I can't tell my ex wife that. She is out of her mind, she would use my cancer as an excuse to get out of EVERYTHING! Even though I have NO contact whatsoever with her, she would tell everyone at my sons school, I can't help with this or that because my kids father has cancer, etc... Or she would try to ruin my reputation so that my clients would leave me, by causing a huge dramatic situation saying "that's my ex husband, he has the contagious EBOLA cancer, he is going to die!!"
Even tho their is NO SUCH THING AS EBOLA cancer. That is just the kind of person she is. She would make it either all about her, or use it to destroy me some more, or tell the children a messed up lie, and scare the crap out of them. I am not going to die. I don't want my children to be worried. So I decided it was best not to tell my children about the cancer, because I do not want my ex wife to know.
What is really unfortunate about not being able to tell my children, is that I am still going through chemo, I am unable to do as much as I use to. And it makes me feel so sad, like I am letting them down. I wish I could tell them, but they would tell their mother, because she interrogates them as soon as they leave our house and go back to hers. We never ask what happens when they are at their moms. We usually here about anything through the grandmother or my ex wife current husband. I run into him occasionally at my work. I suppose he is sick of the laziness and BS by now, and he tells me how she doesn't want to do anything for my son, from big things that would mean so much to him, to small things like take him to school in the morning and pick him up.
ren's life. I have cut off all contact for about a year now.
I have 2 chemo treatments left. And hopefully I will be cancer free. After surgery in Oct 2014, and chemo since November, I am exhausted. And I just do not have the energy to deal with my ex wife anymore.
She has caused so much pain to everyone who knows her, I seem to be her favorite target. When I married my current wife, she became my ex wife's favorite target for a few years. It was awful. My wife has been through hell and back because of me and I feel horrible about that. Thankfully my wife is supportive, loving, forgiving and understanding. She is strong enough to deal with crazy and smart enough to know NOT TO EVEN TRY to deal with crazy + evil.

6:26 AM  

All I wanted was for him to leave me alone. I said and did everything he wanted he made me so afraid. Every time I was stupid enough to think I could come out and tell the truth he always made me pay for it so that I would take it back or let his supporters 'prove' I was lying. Why couldn't someone just believe me? Why did he have to do what he did?

11:26 PM  

If the psychopath or anyone he knows does anything to me or contacts me or the kids ever again, I will post the rapes, all the recordings,criminal records, the pictures, drs notes, admission letters and all letters publicly - then how funny it will be to see who wants to be guilty by association then, careful what you do to others - they might record it.

3:21 PM  

HOW TO GET REVENGE ON A SOCIOPATH:

The best way is to avoid them altogether. This will make them extremely angry and will make your life much easier.

However, if you can't rest until the sociopath has justice dealt to him, here are some methods:

*Treat them like poor children, patronize them and tell them you feel sorry for them because they will never be able to experience emotion the way a "NORMAL" person does

*One of the best methods: Become close with the sociopath by making it seem as if you have something to offer them. When making friends with a sociopath, being courteous is almost completely unnecessary, all you have to do is make them think you are willing to give them stuff they want and they will assume you consider them to be your friend.
Once you have secured the trust of a sociopath, start a conversation about
intelligence, specifically emotional
intelligence. Avoid referring to anything specific, talk about something alone the lines of "how does human emotional intelligence affect the attainment of their pursuit of goals in life?"
The sociopath cannot resist talking about his/her emotional manipulation tactics and all the methods they have used to achieve their goals, you will be wildly sickened. (If the sociopath doesn't talk up, start mentioning people they don't like and ask about their emotions, the sociopath will then attempt to smear their reputation by defaming their intelligence, this will ultimately lead to the sociopath revealing his/her narcissism) It is crucial that you act like you fear the sociopath and have a deep fear and respect of him otherwise he will not open up to you in fear that you will blackmail him.

It is best you get the sociopath to talk in detail about his methods through text or another form of technology where you have hard evidence of his words. If you can get the evidence around to the sociopath's existing social circle his true character will be permanently exposed, not even a sociopath's expert lying will dig himself out of the shithole his own words can fling him into.

7:26 AM  

To try to get revenge on the sociopath is just wasting more of your life on them. They have taken enough. There is never going to be any revenge that satisfies you. They hurt you horribly and you have to focus on yourself and heal your soul.
Being a victim of a sociopath is devastating. It is soul draining. I used to think that if I got revenge on my social path I would feel better. In the end this issue back does not care about anyone. And I hate to say it but there really is no getting revenge on the sociopath. The best thing you can do for yourself is live your LIFE well and find happiness. It's very hard, easie I used to think that if I got revenge on my social path I would feel better. In the end this issue back does not care about anyone. And I hate to say it but there really is no getting revenge on the sociopath. The best thing you can do for yourself is LIVE THE BEST LIFE YOU CAN. It may be easie said than done. But to waste another second on your life thinking of them, that means they still have POWER OVER YOU.
Let it go... And do not seek revenge. Instead heal, and learn to feel again, learn to love yourself. Get out of victim mentality and see yourself as a strong survivor.
It will take years to heal. But it's possible.

5:06 AM  

Please know....women are also abusive this way. I Suffered twice under women who were so convincing I didn't catch it.

II lost friends, a business, over 70,000 cash. Court fees, attorney fees and the lossd of a home. That after winning every court case. Etc. The damage was already done. I'm still a mess years later.

No remorse is so......hurtful.

11:13 PM  

Sorry you have gone thru so much. There are soulless people in this world. And they destroy others and enjoy doing so,,,as if life on earth isn't hard enough without them. Stay strong. I have found no contact, and absolutely no kind of interaction forever works best
Take care

11:03 AM  

This article describes my ex completely. Shevlied cheated and stole from my friends and the sought outbthitd party support to blame her suns in me. She conntinues to enter my life with lies and dies it with a whole new group as she has not one friend in the 12 awafyl years I spent. I almost died at her emotional abuse and this article sums Her up DeLania momper. A liar. Thief. Cheater and blamer a true sociopath

12:25 PM  

Do not allow the sociopath to steal your joy anymore. The sociopath LOVES wasting your time. Do you know what they love even more than wasting your time? They enjoy watching you struggle to make it everyday, they will watch delightfully as your life becomes so difficult because of them. They take great satisfaction in knowing they have caused emotional stress, and hardship for you.
No matter how extreme it will be, you must get away from them. Save every penny you have to get far away from them. Surrender everything to them, and run. If you stay in a vicinity close to them, they will devour you

9:03 AM  

My youngest son's mother I a full blown sociopath. Because her actions She has set my life back almost 4years. 3 while I was with her and almost one year after she found her next victim. Because of all the years she stressed me out of my mind almost I had a stroke,because I could not believe that a person can do do much harm to another without putting there hands on you.I've lost everything because of her and I have yet to start to build my life once again. Two weeks before I moved away I did some research on line to try to find out what kind of person can be so cold ,that's when the word sociopath came up. I was shocked, because I had no idea that I was living with one. it gave me goosebumps and gave me the creeps.

9:50 PM  

Help?!? I left my husband in September. It wasnt the first time. Lived apart for a month. Came back to him- thought it would be better. After being back over 2 months, my husband just told me that he had told his employer and coworkers that I died! WTF?! I am at a loss for words. He said he was so upset and couldn't go in and that was the only thing he could think of at the time so he wouldn't lose his job. Part of me sees humor in it, knowing he's had to live a lie; but another part in me sees the CRAZY. I am in no shape whatsoever financially to leave again. I am tired. Family and friends were against me reconciling. I love him, but this latest confession of his has me feeling sick.

6:10 AM  

I am under a smear campaign from (imho) is a psychopath. After years of being bleed $ to keep peace, 6 months ago I fought back. Placed criminal trespass warning. Totally unprepared for the demon this unleashed! Knew there was "gossip", had been told bits & pieces..passed it off as jealousy and told others it was just projection (even had 2 explain the term to cop). I keep 2 myself (live on farm). Multiple attacks, cops say they know shes crazy. I enlisted her landlords help. She is moving on the 1st. A noose was left on mailbox on Monday, Friday she verbally attacked me as I returned home. One comment was "The whole neighborhood knows what u r...A thief! She hangs with drug users who live 2 doors down. Just how safe will I b when she moves? She has a history of physical violence. I do have another place 2 move...she knows the town, but not exact location. She has followed me before in an attempt to find it (has 2 homes). Yep, free rent and utilities provided by me along with an outreached hand. So I have stayed put. Word is she thinks its a lie. Have an offer on the place. Allowing it to sit so long for fear of this psychopath will require a $ outlay. I lose all support systems if I move. Should I? Will she follow me? Will I b safer there? I feel I have been a prisoner here, unable 2 have a garden or b outside without a request for handout or verbal attack. Sell that place and find another? What would b my safest option?

7:48 AM  

Of course she does not want him to be apart of their life, I am going through the exact same thing and have a 3 month old with one, who has never met her and is not on the birth certificate and had already moved in with someone new with her two children and had posted a family picture of them on her cover page for me to see, she is by far an idiot and knows he had a baby in the way, am I hurt... Yes and inspite of knowing how lucky I am he is not in our life... But that does not stop the pain.. So have a little regard that most who have been a true victim are hurt no matter what... Truly the mat emotional pain a person can feel

1:05 PM  

It is so true. Even tho it is a blessing that the sociopath is not in your life or child's. It HURTS! It hurts to know they chose someone else and that persons kids over their own. But what else would one expect from a soulless, heartless, evil, useless, human being (if they can even be considered human)
Even tho you know this is the type of crap they are - it does hurt. It will probably always hurt. You were conned and lied to, then discarded like trash, and it's so personal and rips on your heart because not only do you feel you were treated like trash, they have also done the same to your child, who you look at everyday and adore and it breaks your heart how anyone could be this cruel and harsh. But it is what it is.
I can't even say it is a lesson learned, because what was Learnt? Nothing. Really just that this individual is shit. That's not a lesson. Some say they learned to not trust people ever again. But that is no way to live, there are good people in the world, and there Are evil people. And it so happens that we crossed paths with the evil.
Yes be thankful that the sociopath wants nothing to do with your child! As he would probably screw her up and she would grow up with all kinds of psychological issues.
Regardless it still hurts. Being a human being with a heart and soul, it will hurt. Hopefully time will heal all tho.

9:58 AM  

These vampires will suck the life outta you, take your youth, money, time, hard work, and nothing, and I mean NOTHING, will ever be good enough for them. They are the epitome of true evil. I don't care if some people want to say evil doesn't exist, it does, and they are truly evil.

11:12 AM  

A sociopath or a even a narcissist are very dangerous people. They don't have to use physical abuse to inflict pain. They lie, back stab and discard you like you meant nothing to them. They are heartless. My ex narc is a Marine and has abused his social status with the police, lied about me. He even had me arrested at my job over an argument we had. Silly me, I went back to him to only discover that he wasn't done ruining my life yet. He promised that he would never do something like that again and now I am sitting with a restraining order on me with no home and no where to go. I am so broken but also relieved because I truly believe this sick, twisted individual could have caused more damage. He has always done everything behind my back when I am vulnerable, where I can't stand up for myself. They study they're prey, like a lion waiting to attack when you're not paying attention. I don't know how I'll ever heal from this but I keep so much faith in knowing that eventually these sick people will reap what they sew.

8:16 AM  

I, as so many others have,, found this page/group through searching the internet for answers about my sister. I am 45 and have realised my sister is a very dangerous person. My childhood and teens and into my adult life have been wrecked and ruined by her disturbing behaviour. The last 10 years have been particularly horrific. Really a living nightmare. I always put it down to her being the bossy older sister but the reality is very very dark. I am currently going no contact with her and my mother and two older sisters. They are all very very toxic. I feel as though I am waking from an horrific nightmare. I have always known in my gut something was not right but I was totally brain washed. The things she has said about me and friendships she has destroyed and twisted against me ...not one member of my family has ever supported me, ever. My Mother spins it all. They are spiteful, jealous and wicked. When I was a little girl and learning religious education at School, one of the happier times in my life, I pictured in my mind evil as a demon with horns and a forked tail...My God, I never thought evil would ever be festering within my female family members. The two older ones, my step sisters have accused every man in the family of rape and sexual molestation, including my Father, one of them lied that me and my brother have had an incestuous relationship, it goes on and on and on. My sister who I am in the process of distancing myself from performs as a nice sister in company and behind closed doors is a nutcase. I have also just realised how scared and fearful I am of her. Which actually seems ridiculous when I type the words but it is very real. I am glad I found this group and I am even happier I am distancing myself from them all. Better late than never. I am looking forward to life without them. Peace and quiet.


3:59 PM  

I have to deal with two family members who are evil ones. I'm afraid for my life and Nobody will listen to me. I already deal with feeling crazy in my life and it's worse when nobody will listen. My reputation and life has been destroyed. My brother was murdered and I will be next.

7:20 AM  

There is a sociopath in my life and she is obsessed with me and will stop at nothing to ruin everything in my life. She starts rumors about me. She even told one of my good friends in a salon while was getting her eyelashes done all these crazy lies about me. She has recently left her 5th husband or sent him elsewhere because he got sick and she did not want to take care of him, because she does not want to take care of anyone but HERSELF! He became an inconvenience to her because he got sick. How cruel can a human be. Yes I get it, it's not fun to have to care for someone who is sick, but if you loved that person enough to marry them, would you not want them to get better? Well a sociopath doesn't care.
So now that her husband is out of the house and is living with his adult son, who is now taking care of him. The sociopath is on the prowl! She is looking for a new man (aka victim). I think this time is going to be harder for her to find her a new man and it was before. Time has Not been kind to her face or body. She has recently had lip injections to have bigger lips and they have just enhanced her extremely tan leathery face. She left me alone for about 2 years. But for some reason I have popped up into her twisted brain again. Telling people while getting her fake lashes put on that I am harassing her children. WTF?

What I want to know if why do sociopaths make up lies out the blue. Usuallu when someone tells a lie about somebody it is based off of something they've heard or is it something true - but they have exaggerate it to make it look worse than it is. . But I have noticed that sociopaths will just make up a lie that was literally pulled out of their butt. It is something so far feteched. It's something the person hasn't even done. I don't get it. But then again I am dealing with a sociopath. I just want her to stop talking about me on social media, making up horrible things, and leave "quotes" that are directed at me.
My problem is I continue to look at what she is writing. I know that in order to not let this affect me. I have to STOP looking to see what she has said next on Instagram or Facebook or twitter. So I take responsibility for that. When I went NO CONTACT WITH heR, I made a promise to myself that I would never look at anything she was doing online. It was all a bunch of stupid BS anyways. But when my friend called me and told me that she was bumping her gums at the dang eye lash salon, I checked to see if she was doing the same online. And she was!

I should have knew better than to check. It's just frustrating. No contact for 2 years. And now she back to doing the crazy things she did before. Maybe when she find a new man aka new victim she will stop. Although I do feel for the poor soul that falls for her trickery. His life willl be ruined :(
That makes me sad

7:12 AM  

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5:04 PM  

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