Sanctuary for the Abused
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
THE SMEAR CAMPAIGN - Hallmark of a Sociopath
Sociopath a.k.a. Anti-Social Personality Disorder or Psychopath
When you are under libelous attack by a person who has deceived and defrauded you, there is a possibility that the person is a sociopath. Sociopaths have no heart, no conscience and no remorse.
They will lie, cheat and steal from you and then tell everyone that it is all your fault.
It is impossible for healthy people to imagine how a sociopath thinks. Try for a moment imagining having no conscience? The best way to sum it up is "You are not a person to a sociopath". The shortest route between a sociopath and his or her agenda is a straight line, regardless of who or what stands in the way. A personality disorder is not an illness per se; it is simply a disorder. Many mental health professionals will tell you that apart from a miracle of God, they cannot be treated or cured; they are programmed for life.
"Since their information -- including emotional information -- is scattered all over both brain hemispheres, it takes too long for the brain to retrieve and process information, and the entire process of socialization becomes so ponderous that ultimately it fails."
(From the book "Without Conscience" by Robert Hare, PhD.)
So how many are there? Depending which expert's estimates you use, psychopaths / sociopaths comprise one percent to four percent of the world's population. And many experts think these estimates are low.
Why is it so critical for you to know about sociopaths? Because millions of sociopaths also called psychopaths, are living among us. Yes, many of them are criminals, locked up in jail. But far more are on the street, hurting people without openly breaking laws, operating in the grey areas between legal and illegal, or simply eluding the authorities. They can appear to be normal, but they pose a tremendous threat to us all
Sociopaths have no heart, no conscience and no remorse. They don't worry about paying bills. They think nothing of lying, cheating and stealing. In extreme cases, sociopaths can be serial rapists and serial killers.
Think you can spot a sociopath? Think again. Sociopaths often blend easily into society. They're entertaining and fun at parties. They appear to be intelligent, charming, well-adjusted and likable. The key word is "appear." Because for sociopaths it's all an illusion, designed to convince you to give them what they want.
If you expect sociopaths to have a crazy or sinister appearance, you're sadly mistaken. Sociopaths look non-descript, average or attractive -- just like anybody else.
Sociopaths come from all walks of life -- including well-educated, well-off families. Many sociopaths, therefore, have good social graces. They know how to dress and how to behave in polite society.
This doesn't stop them from lying, cheating and stealing. On the contrary, it makes their deceptions easier. Sociopaths from middle-class or privileged backgrounds often excel at white collar crime -- fraud, phony stock schemes, conning, embezzlement.
Why sociopaths are hard to recognize
1. They're fluent talkers (liars). Even when caught in a lie, they change their stories without skipping a beat.
2. They're totally comfortable in social situations and cool under pressure.
3. They use family or business connections to make themselves appear legitimate.
4. They often become, or pretend to be, clergy, lawyers, physicians, teachers, counselors and artists. Most of us generally assume people in these positions are trustworthy.
5. They're happy to exaggerate -- or fabricate -- credentials. Few of us check their references.
6. They will say absolutely anything to get what they want. The words, to them, mean absolutely nothing.
http://catinallity-cattery.info/
Labels: anti-social, deception, lying, no empathy, pathological, psychopath, smear campaign, sociopath
14 Comments:
So very true! If they lose money, it is your fault. If they default, you did something wrong and spent all their earnings. If they even fail an exam, it had to do with you keeping them from excelling. Amazing!
Wow! What a timely article! My ex-husband is hell-bent on destroying my life through any means necessary, yet he maintains to me and anyone within screaming distance, that it's ME who's the "crazy" one. I'm a firm believer of crazy is as crazy does so who's the crazy one? :-)
oh the lies, lies, lies, lies that so easily spring from their mouths. try to call them on one? either they will flat face say they didn't say it, or the story smoothly goes another direction. what masters of deception they are!
Evil. Was listening to a person who is well-versed on psychopathy. He was talking about this, evil, and he pointed out that most psychologists/psychiatrists refuse to acknowledge that this word is real in relation to some humans. So how on earth are we gonna help the victims of truly evil people when we won't even admit that some may be this way? Forever! People with the brain functioning of a psychopath are completely evil. COMPLETELY. Once you know the truth about them, and experts like Dr. Robert Hare and Martha Stout DO, there's no better word to use! The late Dr. M. Scott Peck also used this word to describe these people.
If you were in a relationship with one who has the brain functioning of a psychopath and you went to seek help, who would you rather talk to? Someone who thinks we're all the same and that if you just give, give, give and work, work, work, then maybe for one minute on one good day you may not be emotionally abused? OR, someone who sent you both to an mri place that checked for psychopathy and after the results came back and it was shown that your partner was a psychopath and then proceeded to tell you what this meant (that the the psychopath only wants to use, manipulate, hurt, control, play games, destroy the good things about you, use your heart against you, cannot process the emotions of love, gratefulness, empathy and actually only hates others and doesn't think of them as anything but prey) and then treated you like you were in a burning building and that it was imperative that you get out NOW! (As this is the RIGHT reaction! To be THIS concerned about the non-psychopath who is in the clutches of a psychopath.) Who would you pick now that you are (most likely as you're on this website) on the horrible end of the relationship? AND, what would you do to try to prevent others from being in this position?
I don't have the answers. I'm heartbroken for all of us. I want to keep others from being here, destroyed and ruined, and with nobody who even believes it was not only as BAD as it was but really FAR WORSE! Little ones, we need to help each other.
Well said anonymous at 10:14 A.M.
I just found out my twin sister is a sociopath , I was gifted a book byte my older sister , because she has witnessed the abuse I have endured from her for my entire life.
She has blamed me for her entire life and all the circumstances she has gone through , I have been beaten and battered by her verbally for my entire life , I am 52 years old, I have never shown more love to another human being and been told , no I have been screamed at and character assassinated for not doing a thing to help her out.
I have wondered why she has caused so much unwarranted pain all my life, I have been happily married for 30 years, I have a loving family , and she has not had anyone to lean on but me,she has lied over and over and over , she has manipulated me for years and has taken enough money from me , by making me feel sorry for her.
I was even willing to leave my family , so I could take care of her , she has never ever cared about my feelings or any of the pain she has caused our family with her outbursts of rage and anger.( out of no where)
Just would go crazy.
I have been a tortured soul for years wondering what I have done wrong to cause disharmony when all the while I was loving and rewarding her for her horrendous behavior , because we were raised as children to turn the cheek , we were both sexually assaulted as children , I went on and created a life of my dreams and live every day in gratitude for my life , she lives in a world where she blames everyone for her mistakes , and has never once apologized to me or my family for all the pain she has caused.
I have told her since reading this book without a conscience that if she comes near my family or me I will get a restraining order,
She has destroyed the lives of so many because she had affairs with married men.
She has always had a sense of entitlement when it comes to me , what ever she wants and needs I have provided her with, all the while trying to tell her I wasn't helpful only to hear and be screamed at DO YOU WANT ME TO BE HOMELESS?
I am exhausted , I am sad that I have had to live with abuse my family and I have had to endure from her wrath.
She has character assassinated me , my children , my husband, and I kept going back for more because I have felt so sorry for her.
I am seeking therapy , I have finally got the answers from what I have suffered from her my entire life ,
I am feral for her next victim , as she is so manipulative , she is coning , she is a master at her game ,
She is the devil himself , the mask is now removed and I can see the truth, her life has never been my fault , her sick and twisted choices she has made has never been my fault.
I am finally free!
Thank you and I only hope I recover quickly from being her victim.
Thank you for listening to a very wounded heart!
I finally found a site to vent on. I had no idea that my soon to be ex-wife had so many sociopath traits until I tried to piece the divorce together. Only after hearing things from friends and from counselors did it all start to make sense.
She is so phony
It's important to her how others view her
Money is very important to her
She doesn't know what love is
She only wanted you for you money
She is a master of manipulation
It all came together when I came across a site on how to recognize a sociopath and I coudn't believe what I was reading. I thought I was going crazy while I was married to her. It was so bad I had to get treated for depression and anxiety and was placed on too much medication.
Now I just want to know how to deal with her during a divorce. She doesn't want to come clean about where she spent a lot of money. She has completely avoided our requests. It's almost as if she feels that she is beyond reproach, that laws don't apply to her. I understand that they want to win at all costs and have no conscience and can pass a lie detector test. So how on earth does one get thru a divorce?
How does one get thru a divorce? There's oodles on this site and others about this.
http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com/2006/02/dealing-with-your-abuser-during.html
http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com/2006/06/splitting-protecting-yourself-while.html
and this site is excellent for handling sociopaths:
http://www.lovefraud.com/blog
good luck
If you are a victim or target of a sociopath your best bet is to RUN!!! I have experienced being the target of my husbands ex wife for 4 years now. And she is ruthless and relentless and evil. When I married my husband, and moved in with him. She was so nice. Like she wanted to be friends for the children's best interest. So I thought everything was good. I was happy to get along. Little did I know she was spreading vicious and disgusting rumors about me all over town, to my child's school, even going so far as going to my child's class to tell the teacher I was trash, a prostitute and former stripper. Which none are true. I am a well educated person, and have been a nice girl for most my life. If u excluded the partying I did in college ( but don't we all). She even started a website pretending to be me, pretty much saying I was mentally ill and suffered from borderline personality disorder. She signed me up for every XXX porn and dating site and put my cell phone as the contact. She does the most insane things to her children then somehow turns it and twist it and makes me ended up looking like a horrible step mom. When I have been good to my husbands children. It seems like when I do stuff for them, because she won't, she attacks me even more. When I just feel sorry for them and am trying to help my husband. I have ignored her this past year so her attacks are now just aimed at me but at my 8 year old child. I keep thinking eventually she will move onto another target, but so far she hasn't. Once I confronted her about going to the school and spreading heinous rumors about me, that's when all hell broke loose. And it's been hard. I don't want to fight this monster, it's hard to ignore her, she sends my husband 30 plus text a day telling him what a POS dad he is. Or asking for money. When he pays her $3000 in child support. Not to mention all doctors bills. His daughters braces. We buy them clothes and shoes and she always has a reason for more money. She has brainwashed the kids to keep their mouthes shut about what goes on at her house. She is evil. And I don't see the situation getting better..
My oldest son is a sociopath. He is 23 years old. I love him. It's really simple as that, he has treated me and his dad, and his siblings like we are nothing. I have done all I can do. I have about broke the bank between his thefts and lawyers fees keeping him out of jail. He always needs my help but then tells me I never do anything for him. He tells anyone who will listen how horrible I am. He says I am a liar and a terrible mother. You all know the drill. He now feels that i love my other son more than him, they got into a fight and he was clearly (to us) wrong. I refused to take his side so now he and his wife are "done" with me. He says he never wants to see me again. I am devastated. He is so hard to deal with but he is my son. My husband (his dad) says it's time to let go, but I feel like my heart is being ripped out. IDK what to do. Is there hope for a future with him? My family wants to just let it go. I cry all the time and am so unhappy with the situation and they are ready for it to be over. I am a stay at home mom, I have devoted my life to my husband and children. I understand how they feel, but how do you just let go of your child?
Let it go. Sociopaths can't be helped.
http://psychopathyawareness.wordpress.com
I was emotionally and sexually exploited by a priest who is surely a sociopath. Confronting him got my dog poisoned and my family threatened. I'm going to report him but want to be prepared for the evil he's likey to hurl my way. Any suggestions?
I do not know how my sociopath does it? But even though I know all the horrible, disgusting things she has done to me. When I am face to face with her she is able to suck me back in. And I end up feeling guilty for having no contact with her and telling my husband to have no contact with her. But I was dropping off my husbands kids and I was helping them carry theirs bags to the house and she came out. And was so nice (this woman hates me guts) but just her being nice made me feel like ok maybe we can work things out and be friends for this sake of the kids. But I have said that at least 400 times in the past 5 years and every single time I get stabbed in the back when I least expect it. She will be slandering me online anonymously. And the things she says are so horrible they are embarrassing. And if my boss or friends saw these things I would die. I have filed police reports to get her to stop. She just turns around and writes a public blog saying " I cyber stalk her! And stalk her at her house! And she is so frightened of me and thinks I am mentally unstable and she is scared for the safety of her children !" When I have been nothing but supportive of her kids because they are my husbands children too and I want to help him out and they need someone to pay attention to them. So I am screwed basically no matter what I do. It was just so confusing for me how I seem to forget everything that she has done and said about me and my young daughter, when face to face with her because she is so nice, and it seems genuine and she seems NORMAL. But I just know better. I know not to take her bait, and not to think to much of it because she has repeatedly, did I say REPEATEDLY? Assaulted me verbally online, spread outlandish lies about me, made websites using my first last name and impersonated me to look like a crazy evil psycho. She has accused me of being a cyber troll, made twitter accts in my name. Facebook in my name. All of them portraying me unfavorably. She has signed me up for the nastiest online dating sites. Not the normal ones. But the ones where the only picture of the people is the private parts. And she put my # and address and a picture of my face. I am an attractive girl so I have had to change my # because of the calls I was getting from creeps! I just wonder will she ever stop. She is like 45. And she was an attorney and been disbarred for life. Her life is on a fast spiral downward. Will she stop ever now that her life is failing and she is known by the community as a druggie and their and basically white trash?
"I'm heartbroken for all of us. I want to keep others from being here, destroyed and ruined, and with nobody who even believes it was not only as BAD as it was but really FAR WORSE! Little ones, we need to help each other."
That kind of empathy really helps. The direction of the discussion of sociopathy and psychopathy seems to be changing, but still far too slowly. I wish there was a definite medical cure, but it's all experimental so far. Until that cure comes or the public really begins to get accurate, non-poppy info about the subject, or more practicing psychologists investigate the disorder more seriously, I feel like I can only hide the nightmare that was imposed upon me by my abuser. Half of the time, I feel like I'm traversing a minefield hoping not to get blown up again all while preventing him to enter my thoughts. Seriously, it's that bad.
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