Sanctuary for the Abused
Sunday, September 16, 2018
The Online Predator
The following is a composite profile of an Online Predator.
The Online Predator
Definition : The Online Predator is one who uses the mechanisms of cyber space to hunt human beings with the intent to exploit, rob, plunder and pillage their body, mind, heart and soul.
Characteristics of a Predator:
1. Liar: (Self explanatory)
2. Deceiver: His self situation is presented as other than what it is.
3. Betrayer: He is likely to break trust.
4. Insecure: He is worried that others will be faithless.
5. Inconsistent: He will say one thing while doing another or his stories aren't consistent over time.
6. Lacking Honor: Usually while protesting that he has honor.
7. Lack of Respect: He will tend to denigrate others.
8. Transient: He is unlikely to have many long term friends.
9. Manipulator: He calculates and contrives for his own benefit to the detriment of his partner.
10. Secretive: He will tend to cloak himself and his activities. (blocking you online for days or weeks at a time with no real reason why or being online and not chatting with you)
11. Charming: If he could not steal your breath away, he would not be a successful hunter.
12. Selective: He will pick victims carefully, looking for weaknesses and filling those voids completely.
13. Chameleon: He will appear to fit any need perfectly and adapt to fill any desire.
14. Lacking in Self Control: At times, he may have extraordinary self control and discipline, a predator probably exhibits these characteristics in all aspects of his life. Impulsive.
It may be that the only place the predator seems to have honor and value "Truth" is in the "Relationship" he is developing with his victim.
When developing a new relationship, make a conscious effort to observe your partner's interaction with others, not just how he interacts with you. The predator may well reveal his true self through his interactions. But, you may only see this revelation if your are committed to taking every precaution for your own safety.
Predator Warning Signals:
While any of these phrases or actions may be acceptable in a given context, pay close attention when seeing or hearing them:
1. Do not tell ____________ .
2. (_______) is crazy! (or psycho, sick, a liar, or out to get me)
3. It would be best if you no longer spoke to _________.
4. I do not need to defend myself against lies.
5. They are just jealous (of me, of us, of what we have, that you have me).
6. I have never done this before. I am not that sort of person.
7. I wouldn't lie to you. I would never hurt you.
1. Operates from inocuous web areas or chat rooms. (parents chats, music chats, classmates chats)
2. Has personal information which is incomplete or not verifiable.
3. Becomes defensive or angry when questioned.
4. Questions your sincerity when questioned.
5. He will usually discourage or forbid personal information checks.
6. He will usually discourage, schedule for certain times only or forbid the use of his home, work or cell phone number by you.
7. He's badmouthing his current partner, wife, girlfriend or significant other ("they don't understand me, etc.")
Personal Warning Signals:
These are items that, even if JUST ONE, anyone should pay attention to:
1. I feel he is just too good to be true.
2. You are hearing consistent warnings from more that one person.
3. Your instincts are whispering " something is not right about this person".
Th final best defense against an Online Predator is your own common sense and judgment. Always remember that desires, needs, and the heat of the moment can combine to drown that judgment. Always take a moment to step back, take a deep breath and look at a potential partner with common sense and not with neediness.
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