Sanctuary for the Abused

Tuesday, September 04, 2018

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Recognizing the Problem

However, before someone might be classified as being narcissistic, it is important to keep in mind that, like every psychological disorder, narcissistic personality disorder too comes in various degrees. Going to the extreme, we might argue that each of us has somewhere a narcissist in her/himself. It even could be said that a narcissistic tendency is important for survival.

However, in the same context it must be emphasized that, while a narcissistic tendency is constructive, a fully elaborated or developed symptomatic of NPD is nothing but destructive.

Psychologically there are several criteria which have been applied to this personality disorder. These are:

So the question is whether the man or the woman you are living with are so strongly affected by this disorder that you will have to seriously confront the issue or whether the condition is mild and maybe after some adaptations it is possible to agree on a harmonious life together. However, this will focus on the first scenario where the disorder poses a serious threat to the relationship as well as to your existence.

There is much one can read about the symptoms of NPD and yet exactly this can be more than confusing, and you might find yourself going through a checklist of symptoms in order to arrive at some conclusion. However, the list above should give you some idea. Still, there is another element which is just as important and this quite possibly the most important item for you to look at:

Look at yourself and ask yourself how you feel and whether you are the person you once were and knew. If you live with a narcissist, you will develop a cluster of negative feelings centered around the emotion of fear and an image of inadequacy.

This self image of being inadequate then will be due to a change in self perception. This is, it is a cognitive concept that you are not familiar with and which is in contrast to how you used to see yourself. Clearly, such a negative self image will have serious effects on the way you feel and behave.

The dominant feeling is, as alluded to, fear. Fear of doing things wrong and fear of being punished. And thus, the way you behave too will become modified whereby you will watch your every move and where your actions become unnatural to yourself.
The issue is - in a sense - more complicated. Because, all of us have negative feelings and concepts about ourselves even if we never encountered a narcissist. So in this sense, what the narcissist does is to build on the already existing negative self images and enlarge them to a maximum.

The situation is even worse because we are aware of short comings in ourselves. This is where the narcissist is most successful. The narcissist will endeavour to increase these short comings. I may give a personal example: once, I gave up smoking, the narcissist exercised so much pressure on me until I started again (I still smoke sometimes).

The narcissist would really like to see you in the gutter.

However, if you see that you have substantially changed for the worse you can be sure that you are living with a narcissist, and a check list is not necessary any longer.

Still, there is a healing aspect to sharing what actions you suffered and what injustice and cruelty you have been exposed to, and hence sharing experiences and finding reassurance through others can be very important. This is the more the case as, while you are still living with the narcissist or are still in contact with the narcissist, the negative self image gets constantly reinforced.

If you feel that the self check and the characteristics of the narcissist as given above are not sufficient you might want to check your relationship for symptoms of the following kind as given by the check list below. Still, while you are comparing your own experiences with the check list provided here, it is important to remember that maybe only some of these symptoms apply to you or that symptoms which apply to you are not listed. The final criterion will always remain the way you feel about yourself and your self image.

Here now a list of possible symptoms a narcissist might display (not complete or final!):

Dr. Ludger Hofmann-Engl

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shared by Barbara at 12:51 AM



I've been married to a narcissist for 27 years, I want a divorce but now we are so in debt I'm scared as to what the outcome will be. He expected me to pay for everything while he kept his paycheck, I did force him to start to make half of the house payment, but that was only the last year, so we are so far in debt I don't know if we're ever get out and of course its all my fault, I keep it secret because its always my fault, but when there wasn't money to pay bills I had to borrow off of the credit cards, I didn't want to deal with him, because he would tell me that I didn't know how to manage money and that my daughter would have to give up things in life, but he never gave up anything especially his drinking. He has physically abused both my daughter and I, I then got his brothers involved and I thought he was going to kill me, he said that anything that happens in the house stays in the house and I told him not no more. He also will tell us that we can't or succeed at anything very negative person. I just don't know what to do. I have made my own goals in life, I am very involved in children with a 4-H Club of 80 individuals, they are very fulfilling and I believe he is jealous of that also. I want to start my own cake decorating business as I am retiring from my company now after 34 years of serve, and he just put me down and told me that I would never sell any cakes, and I've been doing this on the side for 27 years. We will lose the house if I divorce and that scares him. I am afraid of him, I feel I need to be home before the mail comes, because he has never paid any of the bills, but he will start a fight over that. He will even start a fight over which lane he thinks I should drive in when I'm driving. Yesterday when he said that I wouldn't be able to make my own business work in my home, he took my mixer and though it out the back door. He didn't break it he did bring it back in but I think he did that because when his brother would come over to walk our dog he would see it out there and he would have to explain himself. He's always breaking my daughter's and my belongs, putting holes in walls, tearing phones out of the wall so I can't call the police. I have never called the police because I was afraid of what he would do to me after they left, if they didn't take him. He became so enranged one day when my daughter got hit by him and she ran to the neighbors, his best friend for over 50 years tried to talk to him and he told him off and swore at him. I was in counseling after the incident with my daughter for 3 years but still didn't have the courage to walk out. I kept telling myself that I would get through her graduation party, which he was completely against and didn't pay a penny for and I told him not to show up for it then because we were having it at the house, I didn't care of he thought. Well he showed up because he would make him look bad if he wasn't there to his family and freidns and you would have thought he was father of the year. I know a house is only property but I'm scared. But I feel I need to get my life in order now that my daughter has graduated from high school and he is not supporting her education funds for college at all. So what do I need him for. I feel though that I may hurt his family even though they know what his like. I just can't leaving on pins and needles we have to have the tv turned way down when he goes to bed, I can't run my chime on my grand father clock because it might keep him awake which I received becaseu of my service with my company, he never said it was nice or antyhing it just started critizing he clock that it would make to much noise, but he can make all the noise he wants to.

Help. Please

11:58 AM  

get to an attorney asap. They can answer these questions - including helping you deal with debt & responsibility issues.

You MUST get away from this person

12:41 AM  

NPD'S will never get better, they stay that way. I would leave him and get as much money you can out of selling the house through the divorce. You and your daughter will never have a sane life with him dictating, your better off without a monster in your life.]
From one whom has an NPD MONSTER MOM

9:12 PM  

I have been married to a narcissist for 12 years and so many of the things you said are true for me also. Thank God we never had kids together! We are also in deep credit card debit from me trying to pay the bills. His extravagant expenses have no end. He is also abusive. I plan to leave him soon and hope I have the courage to do so, Thank you for your post it has helped to solidify that I am not crazy and he is the sick one.

5:02 AM  

Do not let anything scare you from leaving. After 20 years of marriage to a narcissist, who sounded just like the first poster's husband, he left me and our two boys. I have lived the past 1 1/2 in fear of divorcing him and in essence was still allowing him to control me. But today I filed my divorce papers, called him and said he could either pick them up from my atty or I would have him served. He agreed to pick them up and is not going to contest anything.
You can be free, it is possible and I am living proof you will survive. And you will be stronger for it too.
Get out now, don't worry about the debt, worry more about losing another day of your life.

7:26 PM  

I left my husband with NPD after 19 years of marriage and it was the BEST thing I ever did. Make sure you stash away as much money as you can before you leave him and get a good attorney who understands NPD. Once you leave, that is it. He will move on to find another supply as soon as possible. I was very lucky(sounds terrible)that he assaulted me when I told him that I wanted a divorce. I called 911 and filed a restraining order. It was the best thing-He is cut off from contacting me and can no longer fill me with his lies and twist every evil doing with some excuse. I started feeling better after just a few days and now am just starting to recover my soul and able to see myself in the mirror again. You will NEVER get out of debt if you stay with him. They sabotage any effort you have to do anything for yourself. And no matter how much you dig them out, they always find a way to spend more. I am glad to be out of that trap for once and for all. By the way, my therapist told me that NPD people just get worse as they age, so get out as soon as you can. I am living testimony that one persons inability to change does not limit another's capacity to transform. God bless you and I hope you have the courage to put yourself and your children first... Go bake those cakes!

10:23 PM  

I have a narcissistic sister who is currently, and at long last, being exposed to my parents. It has taken me years to get to this point and have my parents believe I am not the bad person. The problem with all of this is that she has three teenage children and a husband, all of whom I am not allowed to contact. This is because I challenged her and asked her to speak to a counsellor because she has no friends left, she has fought with her neighbours, her brother-in-law and sister in law, her parents in law. Everyone. She has since a year, refused that my children spend time with their cousins. It is tearing me apart that my nieces believe I am mad and horrible and I can't defend myself. I miss them, and so do my children but now her children don't want to see mine because of all the lies she's telling them. It is a mess and a hurtful one. I refuse to allow myself to sink into depression, but I fear it is close. I am so very sad about all of this as I have always been in their lives. The injustice of being painted as the evil one and the one to blame is the biggest hurt. Even her totally abused husband (physically and verbally) is denying she has a problem. I really want to help him but he won't speak to me. Her lies continue to destroy me even though she has removed me and my children from their lives. I'm at aloss as to how to keep my nieces in our lives. Is there anything I can do?

12:15 AM  

Run. Run as far away as possible, not physically, he'll do that by his nature, but change your phone number, e-mail and never ever let anyone know your new address who there is even the slightest chance could have it manipulated out of them by him. Do not stay a minute longer! Or you will not just be scared but become literally petrified emotionally. Do not look back and never ever communicate with him ever except through a third party preferably legal.

12:00 AM  

Please leave....I was married to one aswell and we have a daughter....I have had 6years of court relating to custody of our daughter, and as hard as this is...I am now a confident happy person. You need to understand they make you feel insecure, they play on your insecurities...there are a lot of people and support groups out there..I had no money when we seperated either, we sold the house and because of the debt he had got us into and legal bills...but I have managed, he doesnt pay any support for my daughter and im still paying of legal bills, but im free, im happy and have even re-married to a caring and wonderful man (which I never thought I would) remember we are in control of our take thesteps, all will work out in the end and also remember you are a role model fr your children, you DO NOT want you daughter to marry someone like him do you? be strong!!!

8:08 PM  

We saw a counsellor for some time and he suggested to me that my husband may have npd. Certainly most if the criteria fit. But I met and married a wonderfully caring, warm and thoughtful man. It was many years before these traits reared their ugly head. I tell myself it's a phase but somewhere deep I know I am just avoiding the reality. I feel for the person in the original post... I too feel very much cornered. Which is the better pain?

6:03 PM  

Please help I know I'm not mad . I've lived with my partner for 7 years, the first year apart from him drinking to excess were great then he changed, or maybe he didn't I just failed to notice the signs. He has managed in these 7 years to cut himself off from everyone, his friends , his family and his own children . He has cut me off from mine too, I dont know how he did that but he did. He tries to alienate me from my children telling me to do things to embarrass them or upset them. He steals money and then blames my son, I know my son didn't do it but I have no proof. He twists everything I say making me feel I'm wrong . He thinks he's a special breed of human who won't ever get sick and has these magical powers to heal . I can see what he's doing , the way he talks to work colleagues and belittles them saying he would do a better job , how he is the cleverest smartest person alive and everyone else is beneath him, he does this in a sly manner not directly . I've tried ending the relationship and every time he manages to twist my reasons making out I am mad and paranoid I ? Yesterday I told him it was over ....again. I'm sick of the accusations that I'm seeing other people, sick of being alone without friends, I have no life other than work and housework . He actually packed his bags, he then woke me at 2am with a coffee saying he loved me bla bla , I stuck to my guns. This morning he brings out the old things from our past, glasses he's collected from our early days when we did socialise . Then the songs , playing songs about us. Then he said he was moving out on Monday , then he went into having his name taken off the please tell me how come after all that he's managed yet again to make it that I am the one who's unwell and its not him its me who is paranoid , how is it he now thinks we are a couple again and we are all OK ..... I really don't think I will ever get out of this relationship I feel I'm trapped with a man I don't love who has taking every part of my self away piece by piece

2:08 PM  

i think that it would be wise for you to permentally let go he will wear you out sooooo much till you will feel literally crazy taking no responsibility for there actions is the name of the game i know because i was with a man like the one you have and they only get worser and worser i had to finally choose between love and insanity in reality they are little boys i almost went in to debt also they never pay bills or take responsibility for anything its a waste of time you will feel better and do better on your own.

10:31 PM  

Wow this is very accurate. I have just left an on/off r'ship of a year with a narcissist and have only just realised (thanks to my doctor who mentioned it) that is what he is. He has ruined all aspects of my life - my health, self confidence, jobs, family and friend r'ships. I fell pregnant to him and suffered a miscarriage, during which he was giving me the silent treatment and i couldnt contact him so i went through that horror alone (yet 2 weeks later flipped out at me cos he was sick and couldnt contact me to bring him panadol!). I chose to walk away after the constant dr jekyll and my hyde behaviour - i never realised someone could be so nasty, spiteful and mean. I have taken every step to ensure he can't contact me (changing my phone number and blocking him on facebook and his email address). I hope after this short term pain i feel better :) I know i have to be strong and resist running back...but it is hard!

4:34 AM  

After 12 yrs of escalating hell, I have FINALLY realized my husband has npd -- no doubt -- he has every one of the traits. I know he is incapable of loving me or anyone. He tries to act like super Dad with our 8 yo son, but recently I've seen disturbing cracks in his facade. It is only a matter of time before he starts abusing our son and I will not let that happen. He already ruined my 2 daughters with his abuse. One is pretty much ok but the other is a mess -- depressed, cutting behaviors, drinking etcetc. I feel awful that I facilitated her illness bc I did not leave sooner.

Sometimes I want to give up bc I see nothing but 10 more yrs of his controlling until our son is 18. The only thing that keeps me going is my son.

I am embarrassed and horrified that I fell into this -- I'm on the brink of financial ruin, no car, house on verge of foreclosure. I spent a large inheritance that I recd on making husband "happy" -- but he wasn't happy until the last penny was spent.

I work 10 hrs a day and would come home to him watching tv, dirty dishes piled up, dirty laundry, and then he'd ask me what I was making for dinner. He is on ssi and "disabled" but chronically whines about himself, his ailments, etc, until I want to scream. In the past 5 yrs or so, he has NEVER asked about me or my feelings. And after working 10 hrs, cooking a meal, cleaning up his mess from the day, I am supposed to be wild for sex and God help me if I'm not.

It took me a long time to see thru the manipulation and outright lies. He will never change but I will!!

11:03 PM  

I am 54yrs old F, an IT consultant (in a former life) and was CEO of my own computer company until I moved interstate to care for my Mother, who suffered from Alzheimer’s Disease, and my Father who had severe brain damage from a cerebral haemorrhage.
I am 3 months out (for the second time) from a 2 yr relationship with a man with NPD, he is an alcoholic, a porn addict, a compulsive liar, is verbally and emotionally abusive and an emotional cheat, (amongst many other things.) I am in no way perfect but I felt less than a human being after my 2 yrs with this man.
My N would often suggest that I was developing Alzheimer’s, ‘You are just like your Mother’ he would say if I forgot where I put something and, he would often say to me ‘don’t expect me to look after you if you get sick’.
He would also purposely confuse me, to the point where I was really concerned that I may be developing Alzheimer’s, it was a constant concern to me but I know now, after living alone, that there is nothing wrong with my memory and I am still as sharp as ever.
He would often comment that I was a useless human being as I had not had a job for the 8 yrs before we met and I could not convince him that caring for two invalid parents was a full time job (I met N after my Father passed away and my Mother went into full-time care but I would visit her every day to feed her. I was also a volunteer for our local tourism info centre)
He was ever so charming when we first met, even after he was an hour late for our first date I excused him, I have since read that always being late is a form of control.
He left me the first time to go back to his ex because he owed her money, after he persuaded her to sign a legal doc so that he did not have to pay her, he then left her to come back to me, I have heard that he has tried to contact his ex since leaving me but she won’t have contact with him, smart girl. His abuse was so subtle in the beginning, his nic name for me was ‘the idiot’ but he always followed with ‘but your my little idiot’ and would laugh which, although it bothered me, I was supposed to take it as funny and he would tell me that I had lost my sense of humour when I asked him to not call me names, I didn’t find it funny, especially when we were in public or with my friends (the very few I still had) as he would call out ‘hey idiot’ or call me a F’ing idiot if I had an opinion which differed to his. He would often burst into irrational rages and rants after 10+ hours of drinking (which was every day even when he was working, he would drink beer for a few hours before he went to work and on night shift he would drink OP rum on his way to and at work) he often would accuse me of doing things wrong which I had no idea of what he was talking about, he would yell and endlessly rant at me and I felt like a bad child, he made me cry nearly every other day with his berating, scolding and put downs.
to be cont...

5:42 PM  

He is a firefighter with the Metro Fire Brigade and owns a farm an hour out of the city, I lived an hour away from his farm and, over time, he moved all my belongings to the farm as he wanted me to move in with him, I was madly in love with this man and I blamed the stress of his job for his drinking… I always made excuses for his behaviour and I thought I could help to change his alcoholism and irrational behaviour but in the end, HE changed ME.
He refused to acknowledge my Birthdays, it was not that he would forget, he told me straight out that he will never acknowledge my Birthday as he does not DO birthdays which made me feel unimportant and worthless to him for him to do so, even after I would make a fuss of HIM on his birthday which he expected.
Even though he owed his ex a great deal of money, the farm was in drought and his cows were starving, he spent his $20k tax return on a huge boat that he purchased from America, he has never used the boat but loves to put it behind his car and take it to work to show the boys. He had a spare room in the house which was full of expensive and extravagant things which he had bought but all were never used, new golf clubs (he had never played golf), golf shoes, golf balls etc, Hundreds of dollars worth of camping equipment including a porta loo, shower, tent, chairs, tables etc, all unused and still in their wrappers.
to be cont...

5:46 PM  

His criticisms of me he said, were always meant to be a joke, he would even criticize me when we were intimate which was degrading and humiliating, he demanded sex before he went to work on night shift and if I ever refused I got the silent treatment or, he would remind me that he will be working with some pretty cute young women all night. He would often tell me what underwear the female firefighters were wearing as he liked to walk into the change room when they were changing, they all wore g-strings (so he said)
He had completely moved all of my belongings to the farm and I had sold the things we would have two of and about a week later he went into a drunken rage (after 12 hours of drinking alcohol,) over a roast dinner which I had incorrectly (to his standard) served up, he told me that we would have to have a talk about our relationship in the morning, (which was something I heard on a weekly basis which would cause me a sleepless night and made me a nervous wreck waiting for the morning where he would lecture me on my bad behaviour, he would say that if I did not do things his way our relationship was over) but this time I spoke up for myself and, because I did, I was told that our relationship was over and that I was a loser, an idiot, a pathetic excuse for a woman, a bad mother etc, he then tried to kick me out of the house late that night but I refused to go until the morning, I packed what I could that night into my car and left early in the morning.
Luckily I had not yet sold my home and I had somewhere to go but I had the expense of a removalist as I did not want to return to the farm as it would be too painful to see him again. I am having an extremely difficult time trying to get my head around what had happened that night but I know deep down that I cannot be to blame, he is back on the dating site which really hurts and I know that he will find another victim quickly as he is so charming. He was my first true love (at first sight) and as they say… the first cut is the deepest!

He always referred to me as ‘you women’ (when I wasn’t referred to as ‘the idiot’) I never felt that I was a singular (someone special) in his life but rather a gender and nothing more, his derogatory remarks seemed to be targeted, not only at me but, at all women…. maybe because he sees women as easy targets, I am not sure.
I have never ever met someone who was so full of himself as he was, he is 6ft 5in tall and has been a firefighter for 30yrs, he loved to tell me stories of all the women who flock to him when he was in uniform and that he could have anyone he wanted, he often told me that I was very lucky to be the ‘chosen one’ and, I am ashamed now to say this but, I was very proud of him and proud to be with him.
Obviously N’s choose their victims very carefully, I have always considered myself as a very intelligent and strong womAn so to have fallen for this N’s charms and Bulls..t has completely destroyed any ounce of self worth and dignity that I have ever had.

5:53 PM  

I know in time my wounds will heal but the scars shall run extremely deep, I can only hope that I learn from this experience and recognize any other N’s which attempt to infiltrate my life and I will run away at full speed with my dignity and self worth intact.
My Ex N would make cruel comments on my weight, even though I had gone up a size in clothing from a size 8au to a size 10au, I knew for my age that I was not fat. I would lose weight and he would tell me that I was too skinny and that he didn’t like skinny women… ‘what the hell do you like?’ I would think to myself!
He always referred to me as ‘you women’ (when I wasn’t referred to as ‘the idiot’) I never felt that I was a singular (someone special) in his life but rather a gender and nothing more, his derogatory remarks seemed to be targeted, not only at me but, at all women…. maybe because he sees women as easy targets, I am not sure.
Obviously N’s choose their victims very carefully, I have always considered myself as a very intelligent and strong womAn so to have fallen for this N’s charms and Bulls..t has completely destroyed any ounce of self worth and dignity that I have ever had.

I have never ever met someone who was so full of himself as he was, he was 6ft 5in tall and has been a firefighter for 30yrs and he loved to tell me stories of all the women who flock to him when he was in uniform and that he could have anyone he wanted, he often told me that I was very lucky to be the ‘chosen one’ and, I am ashamed now to say this but, I was very proud of him and proud to be with him.
I know in time my wounds will heal but the scars shall run extremely deep, I can only hope that I learn from this experience and recognize any other N’s which attempt to infiltrate my life and run away at full speed with my dignity and self worth intact.
I loved my N with a passion and a love that I have never known before. My feelings were real and I was not living the lie but he was. I am grieving for the the good times that we shared (there were some wonderful times in the beginning) and for the love that ‘I’ felt for him, it was unconditional and I loved his perfect imperfections (apart from the abuse). I got this idea from another NPD victim, I performed a private funeral service to bury the love I had him, I put a few of his things I still had in a box and wrote a card saying ‘here lies the love I had for (name inserted), my love was honest, true and pure, may it rest in peace’. It was a very emotional thing to do and the grief I felt was as overwhelming as it was the day we parted but, it was more final and now I feel that I can move on and begin my healing as I know my love for him is dead and buried.

5:54 PM  

I did,nt know what NPD was when I got Burried I mean married and these symptoms came on slowly over years I worked alot so really did,nt notice until her son became abusive and showed all signs of an NPD that was before he turned eighteen,after he turned that was it for me he needed to leave,and ironically his high school called said they were done also,that's when her NPD abuse started I could go on and on, same story as the other comments,bottom line when all the lawyers are done you have very narrow margin on which to rebuild your life while you are teetering on that edge, you are venerable for something else to happen.Your broke,abused,and isolated all at the same time.How in the world do you move on from there!That,s where I fell apart and I am now homeless.

12:15 AM  

I'm not sure if you are still questioning your sanity compared to his lack there of. What you are explaining sounds exactly like an abusive narcissistic relationship in the works, the good news is that you are saying he hasn't successfully alienated you yet altogether and he hasn't convinced you that what he is doing isn't wrong, he also hasn't began speeding lies about you to your friends and family convincing them that he's concerned for your well being and that you need help...he wants you to actually believe that YOU are crazy and assume that it is all in your head. .not to mention that enough people believe that you are crazy and suffer delusions, he will then be able to hurt you sexually, emotionally, financially socially and no one will believe what your saying. You will be driven closer to him after he breaks you down and then tricks you into thinking that he is a good friend by being sweet and nice, telling you he's worried, brainwashing you that the sadistic abuse couldn't be real, even though you knew in your heart that it hurt.. I could go on and on about how seriously ruined your life could become if you had no idea that this could happen. The narcissist seeks complete control over your life and he will lie, pervert the government coloring you some criminal that should be stopped. It only gets worse and worse the more time that has been spent grooming you to be what he desires. It makes you much more valuable if he has spent months successfully brainwashing you and convenience you that all of the small but hurtful things are in no way intentional and that he loves you, he doesn't want to see you hurt. GET AWAY NOW BECAUSE THIS ONE IS INVESTED IN YOU. The desperate attempts to keep you are fuled by his confidence that eventually he will be able to gain complete control, it of course all be too late then, you will by then have several circatances forcing you to stay with him, he will orchestrate all of them himself whole he strings you along and works hard to make sure that touring easily leave him, that you believe that you want him, he may even act uninterested in you creating bad self images for you and making you question why anyone else would want you.

11:10 AM  

GET AWAY NOW BECAUSE THIS ONE IS INVESTED IN YOU. The desperate attempts to keep you are fuled by his confidence that eventually he will be able to gain complete control, it of course all be too late then, you will by then have several circatances forcing you to stay with him, he will orchestrate all of them himself whole he strings you along and works hard to make sure that touring easily leave him, that you believe that you want him, he may even act uninterested in you creating bad self images for you and making you question what anyone else would want you... GET AWAY, GO FOR ACOMPOLETE AND TOTAL BREAK ,.. Tell people...a lot of people, stand against your concern for the threat that this sadistic predator poses to the life and mental health of the next person. Trust me that insisting mental health evaluations be done and that a report be made will put him in a much worse situation to ruin someone else's life and scar them forever...these people are very dangerous and very very disturbed mentally. Their entire life is dedicated toward attempting to control their suppressed emotions be controlling others and hurting them, making them love him , hate him, praise him...everything that he dose is carefully planned according to the way his victim will perceive it. Everything he says is a lie. Everything he dose is a lie...a careful demonstration of wha t he has learned needs to happen in order to get the results that he wants...Trust, love, admiration...he will reflect what you have already told him was amazing to you in the form of him. How can one not be swept off of their feet by bits and pieces of their fantasy and by being blesses with such a beautiful person as he. GET AWAY please, stand up against him and protect yourself and the next victim from a dangerous predator that WILL hurt again and again and again with no limitations for suffering. My e mail is, I could tell you more about my own catastrophe if you like and give you perspective on how lucky you are that this is coming to light now. I remember before it got to where I was handicapped somehow and when I could have left, I wish I'd have been smart enough to stick to it and ignore that it happened. If is have known why he disent want me to go and how horrible and scary life would become I'd have ran fast as I could. I nearly took my own life after two years and having no answers for why my llife was so horrible and hard to face every minute that I was alive. I couldn't do it anymore and if I wouldn't have came across this disorder that described all of the insane things going on in my life.. finally giving me answers after months and months of confusion and public shame and false accusations. I was so relieved and also very shocked to get to understand that these people exist and really do devote their life's work to their illness. It's murder of another person's self that they can't get back.

11:11 AM  

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