Sanctuary for the Abused

Friday, May 11, 2018

Pornography: Where's the Harm?


disconnection from reality
Pornography and sexual fantasy are often used to escape from reality, to cope with the stresses of life. But avoiding life's problems ultimately leads to more, not less, stress. And coming to believe, through porn's false messages, that unfeeling and exploitative sex is okay and even good, is a serious and dangerous disconnection from reality.

disconnection from normal human relationships
Pornography, by its nature, objectifies and dehumanizes the people it pictures. It portrays human beings as objects, mere props for the sexual gratification of others. The chronic porn user will inevitably buy into that. This will decrease his ability to have normal, healthy relationships with his wife, children, and others.

distortion and perversion of personal sexuality
We all have particular things that “turn us on.” Sex expert Dr. Patrick Carnes describes this range of attractions as our “arousal template.” Its formation is a complicated process, involving genetics, culture, family history, experiences (especially abusive ones) and sexual history.

Recent research shows that sex while fantasizing with an image distorts and perverts one's “arousal template.” Carnes writes, “We see more and more people whose arousal templates are being altered as a result of cybersex experiences … It's amazing how suggestible people can be and how quickly a previously unknown behavior can become part of a person's arousal template.”

Many men drift into viewing pornography out of curiosity, the lure of the forbidden, and/or for psychological and emotional reasons. Carnes notes that “The Internet can provide a way to …discover unacknowledged parts of the arousal template.” But it can also fan the spark of a nascent interest into the flames of a fullblown obsession.

chronic shame
A further harm of using pornography is chronic shame. Many people who look at pornography know it is wrong and inwardly despise themselves for viewing it. But they may feel driven by forces seemingly beyond their control. Fortunately, recovery from porn use is possible.

~ from In the Shadows of the Net, by Patrick J. Carnes, PhD

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shared by Barbara at 12:20 AM



Porn addiction destroyed my Family...he has followed his trail...moved out(abandoned) the house,Home,and moved in with his next"love"...he's 59,she is rumored to be 28-if she is still in the picture.Devastating but I AM better off without him.He was/is also into the "BDSM" so-called lifestyle.Lucky I have no STD's.I used alcohol to bury my shame and pain.Clean of abusing that now,I can abstain or enjoy in moderation.Can't drink/drug away shame,only increase it.


12:14 PM  

porn addiction is big trouble..

11:48 PM  

I feel porn leads to unrealistic expectations on the part of males, and also leads to more aggressive sexual behavior.Check out my latest blog on surviving domestic violence:

7:56 PM  

Porn destroys relationships. There is no way women can compare to the women in the porn movies. So the men who watch the porn keep having these expectations and that destroys our self esteem. I have experienced this first hand. Porn does nothing good for anybody that watches it, if you need it then you need help.

4:20 PM  

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