Sanctuary for the Abused

Wednesday, August 01, 2018

No Particular Gender Preference

My ex – the psychopath could have been a GQ model; he was absolutely gorgeous and knew it. He attended a private Christian school as a child and played very masculine sports in high school. There was absolutely nothing about him that would suggest he was gay or even bi-sexual. Now that I know what he is, the previous red flags which caused alarm but were ignored, were actually spot on.

After he is gone, you will begin to remember the strange comments seemingly out of left field. Mine would say the most bizarre things that I would actually have to Google. For instance, once he said to me, “It’s all pink on the inside.” This is part of his method of pushing your boundaries, little shock comments to see how you will react. Although this statement can refer to different ethnicities my gut reaction was that he was referring to gender, and I was right. This is when the insanity starts because we set aside our own god given instincts about reality and begin to adjust to his world of illusion.

When we first started dating we went out often and we lived in a city that is very gay friendly. I thought it was just me being paranoid, but I could not help but feel the nasty glaring looks I received from the gay men as we walked hand in hand through the club. It was like I was trying to take one of their own. It was his home town so I was clueless to his history and had only his word to go on. Once you learn that your man is a psychopath, you now know that all of the times you sensed something was amiss – it was.

My psychopath is a handsome metro sexual man. Since the day I met him he would always shave his arms, chest and genitals. In the beginning after we were married he stopped shaving his genitals for quite a while. And then when his erratic behavior started he would begin shaving down there again. The most interesting thing was when he attended an all male drug rehab for 6 months. I would come see him on various visitor days, and then half way through the program he was allowed to come home overnight once a week. I found it strange that he was super shaved top to bottom while staying at an all male drug rehab. After he was gone I read his journal from rehab. For six months the only thing he wrote in his journal was a comment on how good looking his roommates were. It made me sick and then I started to put so many other events together and all it does is confirm that he is a psychopath through and through.

Sexual intimacy among normal human beings is nothing short of spiritual. When we are intimate with another person, even in simple friendship a soul tie is created. We are literally connected to the person now with an unseen spiritual tie. If the relationship is sexual or a marriage, the soul tie is exceptionally strong. This is the primary reason why it is so difficult for people to break-up once the soul tie is created. We have an invisible connection to this person that is not easily undone. All the time we are sleeping with our psychopath the soul tie is increasing in intensity for us, while he feels absolutely nothing. Sex to a psychopath is no different than eating an ice-cream cone. It’s pleasant and offers a momentary diversion which will soon be forgotten. He has no soul so he can never connect with another human being in any truly intimate, committed and loving way.

Since he has no soul per se’, his decisions to have sex with a person are determined by nothing more than a fleeting whim. There is no internal moral compass to access, no criteria needed and the more the act does not fall into the norms of society, the more attractive it becomes to the psychopath. For instance, he would sleep with your best friend given the opportunity.

Knowing these things about the psychopath makes it very easy to leave him and never look back. However without this knowledge we can drag these destructive relationships along for years. I went four years and would have exited in the first 30 days had I known that he was terminally pathological. I was victimized but that does not mean I will remain a victim.


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shared by Barbara at 12:10 AM



Thabk you for this. Based on my experience with my soon to be ex, this is true. It explains why, after sex, I needed closeness, but he was so far away emotionally. There was never any emotional intimacy, I know that now. But it took me years (17) to get away, and am still in the healing process.

5:28 PM  

So on point- the family just found out mine is trolling craigslist for bottom men... And it didn't surprise me. Something flashed the thought in my mind ages ago, though I can't put my finger on exactly what it was.

When his luck with several women ran out, he moved to the next gender. And suddenly he's interested in New again- of course denying there was ever any break in his love- gosh if I have to heart one more time how much he cries for me and how big the treats are. I kid not.

Still trying to get away...

2:14 AM  

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