Sanctuary for the Abused

Friday, February 03, 2017

Emotional Rape



Emotional rape has many similarities to physical rape, particularly date rape. Date rape involves the sexual use of someone's body without consent. In a like manner, emotional rape is the use of someone's higher emotions, such as love, without consent.

However,
in the case of emotional rape the lack of consent is contained in what the perpetrator doesn't say... his or her hidden agenda. Emotional rape can happen to both men and women. Both forms of rape can be very devastating and require specialized programs for recovery.

Several major obstacles are encountered in recovery from emotional rape. The first is that the victim knows that something bad happened, but doesn't know what or why. And as in date rape, a big issue is that of trust. Victims often feel that they will never be able to love or trust anyone again. Other obstacles to recovery, again similar to date rape, are the re-victimization of the victim by friends, family, and society and the subsequent tendencies toward self-blame and silence about what happened.

It Could Happen to Anyone

Shara, who died after jumping from a freeway overpass into rush hour traffic, was exploited by a rapist who could accurately be described as armed and dangerous; an accomplished deceiver who had raped before.

Without exception, victims describe two predominant characteristics of their rapists:

1. They are charismatic, ostensibly attractive personalities, likely to be widely admired, but with a naturally manipulative nature.

2. They can completely conceal their true selves.


These two observations draw attention to one of the central features of such behavior:

Emotional rape can happen to anyone. The widely varying backgrounds and personalities of those who have already become victims demonstrate the danger in thinking otherwise; in believing "It could never happen to me."

It is sometimes difficult to believe that no moral responsibility rests with the victim - because he or she was weak, naive, or otherwise "to blame" - but that it lies with the rapist, whose ability to conceal his or her true self is such that almost anyone could be deceived.


The focus here is mainly on the rapist, examining what it is that makes an individual capable of this form of psychological aggression.

Colliding Emotions

It is no exaggeration to describe emotional rape as the most underrated trauma of our age; the effects are powerful and potentially destructive.

Victims are forced to cope with a tangle of conflicting emotions, experiencing all the traumatic after effects of both rape and loss.

This confused pattern of emotional responses is very similar to that experienced by victims of sexual rape.

It's a pattern commonly identified as post-traumatic rape syndrome, although victims of emotional rape will be unaware that this is what is happening to them.

These colliding emotions become so entangled that it is extremely difficult - and would be a serious misrepresentation - to attempt to categorize them individually. They are inseparable.

However, it is possible to identify certain generalized feelings which characterize the emotional aftermath. Principally, these are:


Each of these is considered in detail in this book, as are the typical physical and material after effects, so victims will understand that what they are going through is normal, that they are not alone, and that they are not insane.

LEARN MORE - CLICK HERE

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shared by Barbara at 12:58 AM


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15 Comments:

Many of us who have been involved within a "relationship" with a psychopath have actually been victims of Emotional Rape. Understanding this syndrome and how to heal from it is the ticket out of the nightmare we were lured into.

The book recommended in this post, "The Emotional Rape Syndrome" is excellent, and in fact dedicates most of its words to healing. I'm a survivor who was and still is helped by this book, and I highly recommend it. Please don't let these brain-disordered creeps ruin your beautiful life and heart.

1:07 PM  

I was emotionally raped by a therapist. Always beware of predators masquerading as helpers, especially in the therapy industry. Psychotherapy is a quack profession that attracts narcissists with power issues, and often causes far more harm than good.

8:58 PM  

Not all therapists are bad. There are some bad ones but do not paint them all with the same brush. Many people have to see 2 or 3 before they find the right fit.

2:16 AM  

Yes its so hard to face that someone took your tender feelings and lured you into thinking they truly cared so they could use you for their own selfish desires. This seems to be an epidemic now! I've witnessed it played out in various ways with the end result the same broken hearts and broken trust. I think this is part of the reason so many people are remaining single now. How many times can a person pick themselves up and take a risk again or chance wasting years on someone who only cares when their years are ticking by and not yours. If I wasn't fortunately married now I don't know that I could bear to chance experiencing that devastating demoralizing trickery.

8:57 PM  

I was coming out of a really bad divorce and I was very vunerable as there was domestic violence on a horrific scale. I needed help and the policeman involved in my case who I trusted eventually emotionally raped me . He said he loved me and would look after me but it was all lies. It has been 5 months and I still cry every day.

9:25 AM  

It's been 8 years since my wife performed her Lobotomy on me so to speak and I need help everyday but no one I know gets it or there to blind, or scared and numb to care.I feel like I just gotten mugged in N.Y. and no one knows nothing or seen nothing I feel so alone.!

4:22 AM  

How do you erase them out of your mind. One minute they loved me and treated me so well and the next day I was a bother and told to move on. It impossible to find peace.

2:20 PM  

Its gotton so much better, but it still hurts when I let my mind go back and remember the horrible things he texted me after trying to convince me he loved me. I had no idea what an awful person he was. I had no choice but to believe I was NOTHING to him. What hurt so badly was accepting that before, only to be suckered in again. It was opening an almost healed wound over and over till I was all scarred up. In the end (took some time but I still had happy times), I was ultimatly set free. No more illusions that certain people were any sort of friends. I was free to be with people who loved me and no longer manipulated. I know what im worth now . But it still hurts to remember the texts calling me a psycho and a whore. A person whose true colors were so ugly and who had no friends. I should get a life and should have known he would never be happy long term with me.. He didn't hurt me I hurt myself and deserved it. If people knew the true me they would never respect me. He bragged to his friends that he had told me all those things simply because he wanted booty. I know those things shouldnr touch me anymore, and often they dont. But every now and then those hate filled abusive words come back to haunt me. I would have rather been beaten than to have to live with those vile words inside my head.

11:52 PM  

Its gotton so much better, but it still hurts when I let my mind go back and remember the horrible things he texted me after trying to convince me he loved me. I had no idea what an awful person he was. I had no choice but to believe I was NOTHING to him. What hurt so badly was accepting that before, only to be suckered in again. It was opening an almost healed wound over and over till I was all scarred up. In the end (took some time but I still had happy times), I was ultimatly set free. No more illusions that certain people were any sort of friends. I was free to be with people who loved me and no longer manipulated. I know what im worth now . But it still hurts to remember the texts calling me a psycho and a whore. A person whose true colors were so ugly and who had no friends. I should get a life and should have known he would never be happy long term with me.. He didn't hurt me I hurt myself and deserved it. If people knew the true me they would never respect me. He bragged to his friends that he had told me all those things simply because he wanted booty. I know those things shouldnr touch me anymore, and often they dont. But every now and then those hate filled abusive words come back to haunt me. I would have rather been beaten than to have to live with those vile words inside my head.

12:22 AM  

This type of abuse goes beyond torure, it is terrifying how destructive it is. My experience with a psychopath damaged me & I'm now fearful, pathetic and not much fun. Be sure that anybody can be duped, it is the lies which ultimately shake you up. Facing them, facing that you mean nothing. Facing that s person enjoys only the power they have over you is not logical to a normal person.
The tactics are covert and its a slow process which you can't quite put your finger on until it is too late.
Trust your gut despite the perfect partner.

3:14 PM  

I'm just recently realizing who I'm dealing with...and am so lost. I see the world so differently than I used to and trust no one. I don't even know how to take the first steps. It's as though I've been stripped of all I've known and am being thrown into a big big scary world all alone. I just don't understand how people can be so cruel.

9:08 AM  

It happened to me recently and i am so scared. I dont know how to get through it and i dont know who to turn to. I cant sleep or leave my house im living in constant fear. Im scared of telling anyone

7:07 PM  

It happened to me at the hands of my biological mother. I'm a happy healthy adult, built my own family a career, married a great guy. Even than, I have cried 21 years, and hate her for what she did, I don't hate her as my mother. I loved her, and never turned my back. She passed a 8 years after the crimes she committed against me, my future. I will never forget, I do not trust anyone, and work really hard, to let very few people in. I'm a beast when it comes to my emotions, and is not pretty. What is simple to others, is a major deal to me. Luckily I was loved, and nurture by my maternal grandmother who raised me, gave an education, values, and everything to fight for, that is good. My relationship with God, is what keeps me grounded. Therapy in the past was great, I think is time to do a few more sessions. Good luck to all, get help, fight for your happiness, don't settle for less than what you deserve.

10:08 PM  

Same here

3:14 PM  

For this to happen to a human being is one too many, it is comforting knowing that I am not alone. That there are others who understand the complexity of the pain. I am in my 2nd marriage of my husband emotionally raping me. It is the one who is abusive that has a very dark issue, I pray for all eyes to be opened so they can, not only see how they are so destructive inside of their behaviour but to also have unequivocally understanding of their prey. Their destructive and deceitful actions are so ominous and vile. God will shut them down if they keep on, and it will be too late with their reward. They will be wishing that they had chosen differently while they were here on earth, but sadly they will hate their reward for it will be in hell for an eternity forever and ever! Amen

1:29 AM  

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