Sanctuary for the Abused
Sunday, July 02, 2017
Separation Safety Plan
Step 1: Safety during a violent incident. Victims cannot always avoid violent incidents. In order to increase safety, battered victims may use a variety of strategies.
I can use some or all of the following strategies:
I can keep my money and car keys ready and put them (place) _________________ in order to leave quickly.
I can tell _____________________about the violence and request they call the police if they hear suspicious noises coming from my house.
I can teach my children how to use the telephone to contact the police and the fire department.
I will use _______________________ as my code for my children or my friends so they can call for help.
If I have to leave my home, I will go _____________________ (Decide this even if you don't think there will be a next time).
If I cannot go to the location above, then I can go to___________________________or ______________________________.
I can also teach some of these strategies to some/all my children.
When I expect we are going to have an argument, I will try to move to a space that is lowest risk, such as ____________ ____________________. (Try to avoid arguments in the bathroom, garage, kitchen, near weapons or in rooms without access to an outside door).
I will use my judgment and intuition. If the situation is very serious, I can give my partner what he/she wants to calm him/her down. I have to protect myself until I/we are out of danger.
I can use some or all the following safety strategies:
I will keep copies of important documents or keys at _______________________.
I will open a savings account by ______________, to increase my independence.
Other things I can do to increase my independence include:
The domestic violence program's hot line number is ____________ and I can seek shelter by calling this hot line.
I can keep change for phone calls on me at all times. I under stand that if I use my telephone credit card, the following month the telephone bill will tell my batterer those numbers that I called after I left. To keep my telephone communications confidential, I must either use coins or I might get a friend to permit me to use their telephone credit card for a limited time when I first leave.
I will check with ____________________ and _____________ to see who would be able to let me stay with them or lend me some money.
I can leave extra clothes with _________________________.
I will sit down and review my safety plan every ______________ in order to plan the safest way to leave the residence. _____________ (domestic violence advocate or friend) has agreed to help me review this plan.
I will rehearse my escape plan and, as appropriate, practice it with my children.
Safety measures I can use include:
I can replace wooden doors with steel/metal doors.
I can install security systems including additional locks, window bars, poles to wedge against doors, an electronic system, etc.
I can purchase rope ladders to be used for escape from second floor windows.
I can install smoke detectors and purchase fire extinguishers for each floor in my house/apartment.
I can install an outside lighting system that lights up when a person is coming close to my house.
I will teach my children how to use the telephone to make a collect call to me and to _______________(friend/minister/ other) in the event that my partner takes the children.
I will tell people who take care of my children which people have permission to pick up my children and that my partner is not permitted to do so. The people I will inform about pick-up permission include:
________________________________________(day care staff),
___________________________________(Sunday school teacher),
I can inform ______________________________(neighbors), _______________________________________(pastor), and, _______________________________________(friend) that my partner no longer resides with me and they should call the police if he is observed near my residence.
The following are some steps that I can take to help the enforcement of my protection order:
I will give my protection order to police departments in the communities where I usually visit family or friends, and in the community where I live.
There should be a county registry of protection orders that all police departments can call to confirm a protection order. I can check to make sure that my order is in registry. The telephone number for the county registry of protection order is _________________________________.
For further safety, if I often visit other counties , I might file my protection order with the court in those counties. I will register my protection order in the following counties: ___________________ and _________________ that I have a protection order in effect.
I can call the local domestic violence program if I am not sure about B, C, or D above or if I have some problem with my protection order.
I will inform my employer, my minister, my closest friend and _____________ and ____________that I have a protection order in effect.
If my partner destroys my protection order, I can get another copy from _________________.
If my partner violates the protection order, I can call the police and report a violation, contact my attorney, call my advocate, and/or advise the court of the violation.
If the police do no help, I can contact my advocate or attorney and will file a complaint with the chief of the police department.
I can also file a private criminal compliant with the district justice in the jurisdiction where the violation occurred or with the district attorney. I can charge my battering partner with a violation of the Order of Protection and all the crimes that he/she commits in violating the order. I can call the domestic violence advocate to help me with this.
I might do any or all of the following:
I can ask ________________ to help screen my telephone calls at work.
When leaving work, I can _____________________________________ __________________________________________.
When driving home if problems occur, I can _______________________________ __________________________________.
If I use public transit, I can ________________________________________ _______________________________________.
I will go to different grocery stores and shopping malls to conduct my business and shop at hours that are different than those when residing with my battered partner.
I can use a different bank and take care of my banking at hours different from those
I used when residing with my battered partner.
I can also __________________________________________.
If drug or alcohol use has occurred in my relationship with the battering partner, I can enhance my safety by some or all of the following:
I can also ___________________________________________.
If my partner is using, I can _____________________________.
I might also _________________________________________.
To safeguard my children, I might ________________________ and ______________________________________________.
Step 7: Safety and my emotional health. The experience of being battered and verbally degraded by partners is usually exhausting and emotionally draining. The process of building a new life for myself takes much courage and incredible energy.
To conserve my emotional energy and resources and to avoid hard emotional times, I can do some of the following:
If I feel down and ready to return to a potentially abusive situation, I can _____________________________________________.
When I have to communicate with my partner in person or by telephone, I can ____________________________________.
I can try to use "I can . . . " statements with myself and to be assertive with others.
I can tell myself - "_____________________________________ ______________________________" whenever I feel others are trying to control or abuse me.
I can read ____________________________to help me feel stronger.
I can call ___________________, ___________________ and _________________as other resources to be of support of me.
Other things I can do to help me feel stronger are __________________________, and _______________________________.
I can attend workshops and support groups at the domestic violence program or _________________________, or _____ _______________to gain support and strengthen my relationship with other people.
Money : If I don't take any money from the accounts, he/she can legally take all money and/or close the account and I may not get my share until the court rules on it if ever.
These items might be placed in one location, so that if we have to leave in a hurry, I can grab them quickly.
When I leave, I should have: