Sanctuary for the Abused

Friday, June 01, 2018

PORN: Count The Cost

By: Clay Allen

Many men dream of owning a bigger home, a vacation home or even of the possibility of purchasing a second house as investment property.

It’s a sad but astounding reality that the average financial cost incurred by a man involved in compulsive, secret sexual activity is the value of a house in his neighborhood – it has cost him that dream, that piece of property!

How is that possible? First, the obvious tangible cost: purchasing porn, strip clubs, prostitutes, legal and medical expenses, guilt spending, and possibly divorce or loss of employment costs. Those all add up over the years.

But even more profound are the unseen costs: lack of productivity in your career, missed job opportunities, working in a job underneath your abilities, loss of creativity and energy. Then there’s the cost of chasing your fix or running away from consequences of your behavior. Financial immaturity plays a large role, as there is little focus on the wise investment of your earnings, and often lots of “have it now” spending.

In the process of helping thousands of men confidentially break free from the tractor beam of porn dependency and all its associated destructive behaviors, we conduct what the military calls BDA – Bomb Damage Assessment – an honest assessment of what the impact of his compulsive sexual behavior has cost him;

Financially (actual monetary cost)
Relationally (loss of important relationships)
Emotionally (stunted maturity)
Physically (sexually transmitted diseases)
Spiritually (loss of one’s true destiny), and,
His legacy (children following in their father’s footsteps)

The hope in conducting BDA with a man is that it will help him come to his senses and to stay in that reality; for men who get help and overcome pornography compulsion often dramatically increase their financial status living lives of hope, prosperity, purpose and fulfillment as they no longer live in a false reality.

Clay Allen is the president of AVENUE, a nonprofit organization that equips men to live lives of sexual integrity.

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Labels: addiction, cost, disconnect, immaturity, loss, narcissist, porn, psychopath, reality, stopping