Sanctuary for the Abused
Friday, April 24, 2009
When Others Believe Your Abuser
(Narcissistic or Psychopathic) ABUSER
Since when is it good to be friendly with bad people? Since when is winking at their wrongdoing a virtue?
Perhaps someone can quote chapter and verse in the comments, because holier-than-thous really deserve to have their religion's true teachings show what frauds their twisting of religious doctrine makes them.
In the New Testament, in Revelations, I believe, in one of the letters to the churches, some holier-than-thou Christians are read the riot act for that very same pretense.
The author unloads both barrels at them with this truth: "Good people are not lukewarm toward evil" it says.
Cowards are.
Loving good is hating evil. And vice versa. Love is an attraction; hate a repulsion. But that is too simple for complex people to understand.
Now I am not saying that we must reject everyone not perfect, for then we would reject everyone, including ourselves. But decent people need no instruction.
There is a point at which behavior becomes predatory and malicious - a point at which one is morally obligated to separate themselves from that person.You thus take away a bad actor's safety in numbers. You show disapproval. You discourage others from behaving the same way. You comfort the victim by showing him or her that the pain caused them by the bad guy matters to you.
Is any of that evil?
It's just a way of discouraging the harm the bad guy is doing others by showing that you want nothing to do with someone who hurts others like that.
Where is the sin in that, pray tell? Sounds like fine, upstanding conduct to me.
Jesus spoke of this when he said that "indecent conduct" is a special case and justification for divorce even. At the time, the terms "indecent" or "lewd" conduct simply meant "lowdown" or "despicable" conduct of any sort.
And that statement of his, qualifying his disapproval of divorce, is just common sense.
Why? Let's say you are married to a Mafia boss. Is it right for you live in his big fancy house, being waited on by his hired staff? Is it right for you to PROFIT from the crimes he commits and ther damage he does to people?
To the contrary:
it is immoral for you not to divorce him when you find out what he is.The same people who make a virtue of "accepting" abusive narcissists, relentlessly persecute anyone for any hint of racism or sexism. THAT they won't tolerate. They wouldn't DREAM of tolerating anything politically incorrect like that.
But though they know and believe that the narcissist has brutally abused you, they see no reason to show any disapproval of that.
Hmmm. Whom do they think they're fooling?
They make nothing of that narcissist's abuse of you. They countenance it.
If instead they rejected the narcissist, they would be doing the one small thing they could to get on the right side, the victim's side.
But they abandon the victim and smile in the abuser's face.
Not so holy as they pretend.
by Kathy Krajco
SOURCE: Narcissist Sympathizers
Labels: blame, cognitive dissonance, disbelief, divorce, evil, guilt, narcissist, psychopath, sociopath, sympathy
2 Comments:
There was a story circulating the Christian Churches in the '90's. It goes like this:
A group of guerrilla fighters burst into an evangelical church, during Sunday service, in South America. "Everyone who proclaims to Love the Christ, must stay and be shot! the rest of you can leave."
Within minutes the church was nearly empty. The congregation exited out the windows and doors. In the end, only 3 remained; waiting to be killed.
The guerrilla fighters immediately threw down their guns and proclaimed:
"My fellow BRETHREN! now that we have rid ourselves of the hypocrites, let us worship our Lord in Truth!"
When my ex-husband heard this story, he immediately said, "YUP. That would do it."
And I said, "Dang, I hope I'd be one that stayed..." but be it far from me to admit to him-I'd have been the first one out a window! dragging my toddlers along with me!
I like to tell this story because, I believe that true "Christians", who depend on the blood of Christ (as they are SUPPOSED TO DO) and do NOT depend upon themselves,(as the Pharisee), will respond in humility...realizing that they really don't know HOW they would respond. No grandiosity! only humble hope in redemption for their shortcomings.
It takes a lot of wit to realize& refute religious perpetrators and their business.
Thank you for this site.
I'll be sharing it!
Great response to the article. I love that story!
I have run into so many times in which you read, "We don't know both sides of this story. We don't know what she did beforehand that made him react like this!"
I responded back, "Can you name ONE circumstance in which this would be an 'acceptable' response? Just one please!" I got some lame response about how the victim can be perfect either to which I say, "I don't know if I have ever met a perfect person. Can you? Are you saying the victim needs to be prefect before we can call out sinful behavior now?"
Funny how NONE of them responded again...and left the thread alone from then on. Hyprocites and cowards is a good name for them.
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