Sanctuary for the Abused

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Sexual Abuse Survivor, Incest Survivor - Marilyn Van Derbur

A sexual abuse survivor, Marilyn Van Derbur's incredible story of being a sexual abuse victim and overcoming her childhood trauma is now available in this extraordinary book. Unfolding her story some 35 years after the sexual abuse stopped, Van Derbur's book, "Miss America by Day," has profound impact on everyone who reads it. Men and women who are survivors of sexual trauma, incest survivors, and those with sexual abuse repressed memories continue to be ever-changed by reading the pages as Van Derbur describes the sexual abuse, the long-term trauma, the disbelief she endured and the healing process for all sexual abuse victims.

In this long-awaited book, Van Derbur, a former Miss America, tells the story of how she was sexually violated by her father from age 5 to age 18. She was 53 years old before she was able to speak the words in public, “I am an incest survivor.” She opened the door for tens of thousands of sexual abuse survivors to also speak the words, many for the first time, within their own families and communities.

excerpts from her book:

Chapter 2: "The Night Child"

Click. She was on the first step. Then, slowly, very slowly, click, down to the second step. Then even more slowly we heard the third click as she stepped down the third step. My door was less than six feet away. Finally! My mother was coming. Finally it would be over. At the sound of the first click, my father had frozen. I had frozen. We remained motionless at the second click and the third. It was a dramatic moment in time when each of us knew what the other was thinking. It seemed like minutes, but I'm sure it was only seconds. Then we heard another click, but she wasn't coming to save me, she was going back up the steps. She knew.

Chapter 32: It's Never Too Late

A third reason why a mother will not believe her child, is the reason why I feel my mother chose to deny me by saying, "I don't believe you." If my mother were to acknowledge what I told her, it would have shattered her image of the perfect wife, the perfect mother. Her unwillingness to acknowledge the reality of my life, and hers, kept her from ever being my mother, and caused me unbearable pain.
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Saturday, September 17, 2005

Bigamy Case Put on Hold
Upcoming civil case could determine whether charges to be brought up again.
By Ken Moore

Charges of bigamy against Charles Edward (Ed) Hicks were dropped, for now.

Hicks, 61, was arrested May 25 and indicted by a Fairfax Circuit Court grand jury for bigamy July 18. By asking that the case be "nolle prosse" rather than proceed to trial Tuesday, Assistant Commonwealth’s Attorney Kathryn Swart dropped the charges while keeping open the option to prosecute Hicks in the future.

"We’re dropping the case for the time being," she said, following the hearing that lasted less than five minutes in Fairfax County Circuit Court Tuesday, Sept. 13.

"He had a number of past marriages," Swart said. Some ended with valid divorces, some did not, she said.

Charles Hicks was scheduled for trial Tuesday, accused of marrying Sandra Phipps Hicks, 49, of Mount Vernon, while he was still married to Julie Flint Hicks, 43, formerly of Chesapeake and now a resident of Utah.

"They can bring the case back again if they want. Basically, in my opinion, they are not going to be able to prove bigamy," said defense attorney Richard S. Simpson, following the hearing.

Court documents and past marriage certificates show that Charles Edward Hicks married Sandra Hicks May 26, 2003 in the Bahamas. He was still married to Julie Hicks, whom he wed April 15, 1997 in Hollister, Calif. Charles Hicks married Rose Marie Sewell in Florida Nov. 3, 1995. That marriage ended in a judgment of divorce in Michigan May 6, 1997, weeks after Charles Hicks married Julie Hicks, his sixth wife, according to the certificates and judgment of divorce.

But questions still surround the validity of Charles Hicks’ marriage to Sandra Hicks because he was already married to Julie Hicks at the time. Questions also remain about the validity of his marriage to Julie Hicks because he was still married to Rose Marie Sewell at the time.

Before deciding whether to try the case in the future, Swart wants to see what happens on the civil side of the courthouse. Sandra Hicks has an annulment hearing scheduled for November.

Julie Hicks, who filed bigamy charges in California, where she was wed, has contacted detectives in Chesapeake, where she lived with Hicks. She hopes to file criminal charges against Hicks for bigamy there.

ED HICKS married seven times, according to copies of past marriage certificates.

Sandra Hicks and Julie Hicks, who now jokingly refer to themselves as wives number six and seven, befriended each other through their discovery.

"He finds wonderful people, I have to admire his taste," said Julie Hicks.

Julie Hicks and Sandra Hicks were prepared to testify Tuesday — Julie Hicks flew from Utah to testify in the scheduled trial — but said they understood why charges were dropped for the time being. They were told the case would be "nolle prosse" Monday night, said Sandra Hicks, and neither attended the hearing Tuesday morning.

Charles Hicks will continue to victimize other women if he is not convicted, said Julie Hicks and Sandra Hicks.

Sandra Hicks characterizes Charles Hicks as an Internet predator. The growing popularity of Internet dating leaves some women vulnerable to financial scams as well as bigamists, said Sandra Hicks.

"We hear about Internet predators for children, I don’t think we’re hearing very much about Internet predators for middle-aged women. And that bothers me," she (Sandra Hicks) said.

When asked how his client responds to accusations that he is an Internet predator, Simpson said, "There are two sides to every story. I think we’re dealing with some scorned women who are very angry."

Both Sandra Hicks and Julie Hicks said their goal is to keep other women from enduring what they have faced.

"It’s not just about me and Sandra and the marriages," Julie Hicks said. "Ultimately, my goal is to keep him from hurting other people. I don’t want anyone to feel like this. It’s not a good feeling knowing eight years of your life is a lie."
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Sunday, September 11, 2005

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Saturday, September 10, 2005

Doctor real strange love

Serial Web Romeo sued over kooky come-ons


A Manhattan love doctor has been slapped with malpractice suits for breaking hearts.
Fertility specialist Dr. Khaled Zeitoun is a married father of three who allegedly left a trail of tears after taking to the Internet for some extramarital romance, according to court papers made public yesterday.

Zeitoun, 46, is being sued by two women he met through an online dating service - and allegedly wooed with bizarre come-on lines invoking the Devil, tales of past lives and talk of the Apocalypse.

In lawsuits, Tiffany Wang and Jing Huang branded him a medical masher who pretended to be single to lure them into sexual relationships.

According to court papers, he may have been sweet-talking as many as six women at or around the same time.

"Zeitoun's conduct was part of a larger pattern in which he approaches single women on the Internet and becomes romantically involved with [them]," Wang, 46, charged in a complaint filed Wednesday in Manhattan Supreme Court.

Zeitoun's conduct "was outside the boundaries of human decency and societal norms," according to the lawsuit.

Wang is "very nervous about trusting people," said lawyer Avraham Goldberg, who represents Wang and Huang.

Zeitoun laughed off the claims yesterday when questioned at the W. 53rd St. love nest where, court papers say, he rendezvoused with his online ladies.

"I don't know of any lawsuit that woman has filed against me," he said, referring to Wang, but he conceded he knew her.

"Is she suing someone because he romanced other women?" he chuckled.

Wang's lawsuit is nearly identical to one filed in March by Huang, 32, who says she, too, met Zeitoun through the Yahoo! Personals, and that he told her he was single.

Their suits seek unspecified money damages for infliction of severe emotional distress.

According to court papers, Zeitoun told both women that he had been married to them in a previous life and had mistreated them. He said he searched for them in this lifetime to correct his past mistakes.

He even told Wang that he made a deal with the Devil after being "trapped in hell" for two days in which he promised never to marry - and if he reneged "the whole world would collapse," according to her suit.

Still, the suit claims, he cruelly asked Wang to marry him "only to see the look of joy on her face," though he had no intention of making her his bride.

Zeitoun saw the women simultaneously, unknown to them. He dated Wang from March 2001 until July 2004 and saw Huang from Oct. 2003 until July 2004, court papers say.

Huang learned accidently that Zeitoun was married - and when she confronted him, he said he was getting a divorce, she contends.

She also learned the names of five other single women, including Wang, who had allegedly been romanced by Zeitoun.

"He knew the damage he could do to these women and he did it anyway," said the women's other lawyer, David Grover. "They are both educated, professional women."

In court papers filed in May, Zeitoun admitted having relationships with several women on the Internet while pretending to be single - but he said he told Huang upfront that he had no interest in long-term liaisons.
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Friday, September 09, 2005

by Keith Ablow

The Scott Peterson murder case is the most gripping and highly publicized crime story of the 21st Century. It has captivated a public hungry for the answer to one question: Why would a man with no known history of violent crime or mental illness, with a pretty wife about to give birth to his son, brutally murder her?

To get "inside Peterson's head," the national media turned to forensic psychiatrist Keith Ablow, M.D. His appearances resulted in a deluge of e-mails with most stating that his theories about the spawning of a killer inside Peterson were the first that made sense to them. Members of Scott's and Laci's families have also stated that his comments were the first that helped them understand what happened inside Scott's mind.

Inside the Mind of Scott Peterson takes readers into the mind of a killer, including:
· How Scott Peterson's empathy for others was shattered by a three generation "blood line" of childhood loss and abandonment

· How Peterson came to expertly "imitate" a person, while having no true, core self

· Early signs that Peterson was losing his capacity to empathize with others

· Why an addiction to sex took root in his psyche

· Why Peterson's meeting Amber Frey while his wife was pregnant triggered the "perfect" psychological storm

· Clues to Peterson's guilt in his interviews with Gloria Gomez and Diane Sawyer

· What Peterson was probably thinking as he listened to testimony in court and received his death sentence

Why Peterson could kill again, if released.

Using contacts at the FBI, and hiring private investigators and researchers, Keith Ablow delves deeply into Scott Peterson’s life story to answer the question: How did an All American boy turn into a ruthless killer?

As the nation continues to follow the case this summer, and Peterson awaits appeal on his death sentence, Ablow's extensive psychological profile will be a window on Peterson's soul and the pathological gears turning in his mind.
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Thursday, September 08, 2005


A true story - currently in the news and in court!!

Sandra & Julie Hicks are married:
to the same man
at the same time!

Read more about ED HICKS - a real life user, bigamist, abuser & con man:

So, to live with myself, to try to become a better person from this experience, to begin my healing process and repair my emotional damage, the other Mrs. and I are going to do a good thing for society. Together, we are going to try to ensure this man gets three squares a day and an orange wardrobe for a little while. To you lonely, vulnerable, nice moms, grandmothers, aunts, and sisters, we will keep pushing and become relentless until his next home is a jail cell.
- Sandra Goldin Hicks

This site is supporting these women in reclaiming their lives and putting this predator away. Read the article below for more on emotional & financial predators:
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