Sanctuary for the Abused
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Narcissists & Psychopaths Cause PTSD for their Victims
by Tim Field
How do the PTSD symptoms resulting from a Narcissist or Psychopath's abuse and bullying meet the criteria in DSM-IV?
A. The prolonged (chronic) negative stress resulting from dealing with a narcissist or psychopath has lead to threat of loss of job, career, health, livelihood, often also resulting in threat to marriage and family life. The family are the unseen victims.
A.1.One of the key symptoms of prolonged negative stress is reactive depression; this causes the balance of the mind to be disturbed, leading first to thoughts of, then attempts at, and ultimately, suicide.
A.2.The target of the narcissist or psychopath may be unaware that they are being exploited, and even when they do realize (there's usually a moment of enlightenment as the person realizes that the criticisms and tactics of control, etc are invalid) - victims often cannot bring themselves to believe they are dealing with a disordered personality who lacks a conscience and does not share the same moral values as themselves.
Naivety is the great enemy. The target is bewildered, confused, frightened, angry - and after enlightenment, very angry.
B.1. The target experiences regular intrusive violent visualizations and replays of events and conversations; often, the endings of these replays are altered in favour of the target.
B.2. Sleeplessness, nightmares and replays are a common feature.
B.3. The events are constantly relived; night-time and sleep do not bring relief as it becomes impossible to switch the brain off. Such sleep as is achieved is non-restorative and people wake up as tired, and often more tired, than when they went to bed.
B.4. Fear, horror, chronic anxiety, and panic attacks are triggered by any reminder of the experience, e.g.receiving threatening letters or email from the narcissist or psychopath or their friends, their family or attorneys. Additionally postings on online boards or sites about the victim by the abuser (often to try to make the victim look like the abusive one!) can add to these triggers and health related issues tremendously.]
B.5. Panic attacks, palpitations, sweating, trembling, vomitting, binge eating or forgetting to eat, ditto.
Criteria B4 and B5 manifest themselves as immediate physical and mental paralysis in response to any reminder of the narcissist or prospect being forced to take action against the narcissist.
C. Physical numbness (toes, fingertips, lips) is common, as is emotional numbness (especially inability to feel joy). Sufferers report that their spark has gone out and, even years later, find they just cannot get motivated about anything.
C.1. The target tries harder and harder to avoid saying or doing anything which reminds them of the horror of the exploitation.
C.2. Almost all Victims report impaired memory; this may be partly due to suppressing horrific memories, and partly due to damage to the hippocampus, an area of the brain linked to learning and memory.
C.3. the person becomes obsessed with resolving the experience which takes over their life, eclipsing and excluding almost every other interest.
C.4. Feelings of withdrawal and isolation are common; the person just wants to be on their own and solitude is sought.
C.5. Emotional numbness, including inability to feel joy (anhedonia) and deadening of loving feelings towards others are commonly reported. One fears never being able to feel love again.
C.6. The target becomes very gloomy and senses a foreshortened career - usually with justification. Many targets ultimately have severe psychiatric injury, severely impaired health.
D.1. Sleep becomes almost impossible, despite the constant fatigue; such sleep as is obtained tends to be unsatisfying, unrefreshing and non-restorative. On waking, the person often feels more tired than when they went to bed. Depressive feelings are worst early in the morning. Feelings of vulnerability may be heightened overnight.
D.2. The person has an extremely short fuse and is often permanently irritated, especially by small insignificant events. The person frequently visualises a violent solution, e.g. arranging an accident for, or murdering the narcissist; the resultant feelings of guilt tend to hinder progress in recovery.
D.3. Concentration is impaired to the point of precluding preparation for legal action, study, work, or search for work.
D.4. The person is on constant alert because their fight or flight mechanism has become permanently activated.
D.5. The person has become hypersensitized and now unwittingly and inappropriately perceives almost any remark as critical.
E. Recovery from a narcissist experience is measured in years. Some people never fully recover. Long term and repeated damage by disordered persons become C-PTSD.
F. For many, social life ceases and work becomes impossible. Many develop autoimmune diseases such as lupus, fibromyalgia, chronic pain or adrenal fatigue and even become totally disabled.
THERAPY can and does help. But it takes a lot of time and work. The longer you wait to get help & treatment, the deeper the damage and the more difficult to heal or manage. Hang in there!
http://bullyonline.org
Labels: abuse, anxiety, bullies, c-ptsd, complex ptsd, damaged, naive, narcissist, panic, psychopath, ptsd, sociopath
33 Comments:
This article should be taught to all. That people who are ABLE to feel love, joy, hope and have the potential to help others are instead raped and destroyed for life. FOR LIFE!
"Naivety is the great enemy". So true and heartbreaking. But naivety is not evil and it is not the fault of the person who is naive. It is simply that people with the brain functioning of a psychopath ARE evil and unless we are all taught the truth about psychopathy, which is that they are predators and always seeking prey, we can never hope to help anyone.
Psychopathy is NOT rare. Not at all. Martha Stout mentions this in her book "The Sociopath Next Door" and recounts how the first time she met a psychopath (diagnosed) and talked to him she asked him what he desired most. She was surprised at his response. He said more than anything he wanted PITY from people. That's right. More than anything they want pity. She goes on to point out that when we are feeling sorry for someone, we are then VULNERABLE. So do you see? They want to use the very things that are meant for helping those that need help, for their own evil. They want access to our hearts in order to manipulate us and as an added bonus, destroy us in the process.
This article describes the results that take place when we are raped by evil. And look closely, they destroy EVERY PART OF OUR LIVES! Our minds, hearts, bodies, our soul. There is NOTHING good about psychopaths, nothing! And if you read the last part of this article, it seems to show that there is really no hope or help for those destroyed by them. Implying it may be better just to do nothing.
But what if there were an awesome psychopathy awareness campaign that helped PREVENT people from engaging with, hiring, mistaking them for humans, and then places for us to go and heal and also be armed with info on how to spot them and avoid them in the future.
This is nothing more than false hope I now know. Even though mri's show without a doubt that these people don't process emotions like love, empathy, gratefulness, it is so much easier to just let things go on as they are and let those of us with a heart be destroyed. So much easier.
THANK YOU for publishing this. I have been so worried that I wouldn't be able to find the words myself if I ever had to.
I've been emotionally shattered by a psychopathic narcissist. After several months of no contact I still feel sad, stuck and lost. Before I met him I couldn't have told you what a narcissist was and my idea of a psychopath was a serial killer. My narcissist has emotionally killed lots of women. I've seen it happen right before my eyes and I don't just mean me. I wouldn't wish him on my worst enemy.
I can relate.Developed PTSD symtpoms after being bullied. I wanted to help myself and prevent others from being bullied so after a agonizing year of being tortured by this individual who was in a position of power, I complained to someone in authority over her. HA! I might as well have kept my mouth shut, because all that accomplished was me being encouraged to alter my perception of what occured. How's that for a solution to being bullied, change your perception and the problem goes away. I have recieved councelling.3 years later and a hugh personal and professional sacrific, I am still recovering from the my tortursome experience and not being believed by the person who was in a place to provide the bully with consequneces for her actions. Oh well, all in a day's work, I guess.Helpless to do anything but change my thinking!
Spent 12.5 years married to a man of this type. I have been divorced since 2010 but we have children together.... I am emotionally ill most of the time and can not find much on recovery thanks for this article. I have emailed it to my adult daughter who is puzzled as to why her mother just can't surface again. Both I and my family miss me but I just do not know how to heal. Blessings to anyone that deals with a person like this!
I honestly thought it was me, my fault...... but where and who to trust for help?
who ever put this site together, thank you you have realy helped me
thank you.
My mother is evil that is the one word which stands out she did the devil's part attacking me and making me out to be the scapegoat. I have severe PTSD nightmares triggers and it set me up for a life of misery trying and failing over and over again to heal my broken heart yet finding her in denial lack of empathy and still much more punishment. Hated my childhood and my life trying to get over my haunted memories of the horrific abuse. Has anyone recovered is there hope?
I spent 37 years married to a physical, verbal and emotional abuser. I divorced him and lived with a man for 13 years who I had thought was my dream come true. He would go into rages when I ignored him. Another woman came into his life and he kicked me out in January this year.
Right now I am in a PTSD therapy group and am working on the issue of anger which has led me to recognizing the narcissist. It is so obvious that both men in my life were narcissist and damaged me deeply. It is wonderful to find a site on the net where I can find understanding and healing.
I cant even get to the ptsd part im still on the stocholm brainwashing thing.
love that is says at the bottom please prove you are not a robot, no , a puppet , yes , and all my strings were cut at the same time and then kicked.
I have been married to a narcissist, passive agressive, sociopath for 32 years. He is always cool as a cucumber and comes off as such a nice guy but behind closed doors is another story. He is verbally abusive andd over controlling. He holds the purse strings and uses money to buy off our adult daughters. He is a pathological liar and has been with numerous women. He has fooled most everyone except a psychiatrist and our marriage/family pastor. Divorcing him is out of the question right now. I suffer from chronic depression and am always exhausted. Just doing the dishes can seem overwhelming. My doctor said I suffered from PTSD. Thank you for your informative article.
my Partner has been the victim of a Psychotic, Narcissitic Son who has destroyed almost every part of his life. He has endured years of Vicious phsical beatings to the point of causing him to have a Stroke, broken bones, damaged kidneys and he has now been diagnosed with C-PTSD. His home and workplace have been destroyed by fire and he has lost everything he has ever owned. The fire killed all of his beloved animals that were rescued. This fire was started deliberately by his Psychopathic Son. His Son walks free with no repercussions or Punishments. Meanwhile my Partner remains on an NHS waiting list for therapy, 12 months on he is still waiting. Thats how seriously the Health Service in Britain takes PTSD. Oh, just one more thing, my Partners Psychopathic Son has repeatedly Poisoned his Food and Drink for 18 years. He is still at large, wheres the justice? Why have I written this here? Because his Son still fools the Drs in to believing he is the Victim. To all others who are Victims and Survivors of Psychopathaths I wish you the strength to fight on, THEY CAN BE DEFEATED...EVENTUALLY. Thaankyou for your article which has given us hope.
A therapist I consulted suspects my mother has Narcissistic personality traits. My mother forced me to assume her role as the caretaker for my handicapped brother, and infant sister as she kept taps on my father's daily activities, and cut articles out of magazines.Everyday when I came home from school my playtime became caretaker time. Each day when my father came home from work his dinner was not ready or even thawed out. He raised hell with her about it and she ignored him, eventually he became angry with me for not taking food out for his dinner.Again I was expected to assume her role.
When she began doing everything she could prevent me from having a normal social life with female friends,and a boyfriend. I realized that she had planned for me to go to college, get a job to help her purchase and live in a mansion.
Although I left home married and had two children those relationships are severely damaged, by her interference, lies, convincing others that I abuse them by living on my own in poverty rather than live in her house under her control.
I will not sell my soul,just to be able to live in a house. As two of my children are focused on trying to get revenge on me they can not see the trap she has put them in.
I was forced to assume her role as a child and be the caretaker for my handicapped brother, and younger sister. After all she has done I refused to give up the last of my working years to be her caretaker now that she is old. As expected my children tried to use the threat of the loss of my relationship with them as leverage to force me to give up my freedom and do what my mother wants. I said No.
I know that my mother will work to destroy the rest of their relationships and strip them of as much of their money as possible. They will finally see her as she is and why I was willing to endure years of poverty instead of living with her. I used all of this time on my own to raise my third child, acquire a bachelor degree, and I am currently a graduate student. When they wake up from Granny's nightmare. I will be on my feet.
DMG
I can relate to all the comments. I recently was divorced from a psychopath. I should have seen all the problems coming but I did not. It seems that love makes us blind to the abuse. Like others, recovering is an ongoing struggle, but something which has helped me to move on are the last to stanza from the poem Invictus by Willaim Henley, I read it at the start of each and every day;
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
My partner, the supposed narcissist, has been accused, maligned and almost killed by the supposed victim. She accused him of cheating, physically hurting her and causing her to be unable to work.He started a business for her to run and she ran it....right into the ground. She posts "domestic abuse " prevention comments all the time when she was and is the abusive one. She is the narcissist.... she tells everyone how horrible he is yet she has come on to him both in person and in in writing. He supported her for 10 years and will continue to pay her support until he has fulfilled his legal duty. In the meantime, he is supportive of me, we take care of each other, we share expenses, chores and life. He is a man..... maybe self centered sometimes, but so am I. He is an incredibly positive man but after dealing with his crazy narcissistic ex wife for years he has some PTSD symptoms from dealing with her. We are working through those things together and we hope someday she finds a new victim to destroy because only then will my partner be free of her negative and crazy rantings.
I am 32 and my life has been over for a long time due to one emotional abusive relationship after another and helpless circumstances. The straw that broke the camels back was getting stalked and harrassed by a married old man coworker and it drove me to eventually getting fierd and ending up having a halluciating mental breakdown. This man threatened to kill himself and my family. He would stare and drool at me and get all sweaty. He would cry because I did not want to hang out with him outside of work. He would come to my town and go to bars gas stations and resterants and talk about me to people. He broke windows in my house and left presents on my car and at work. He even printed out pictures of his kids that were my age and gave them too me. He would get angry when I wanted nothing to do with me and.call me crazy a slut stupid and other things. The job did nothing about it and eventually they just put me on second shift untill they just fierd us both. After that he called my mothers phone thirty times a day and even tracked my whereabouts across three towns and called my mothers voicemail and droned on about how I had only ten minutes tl get outside yada yada. I thought this guy was going to kill me or someone else plus I was angry especially when he told everyone I was on love with him and had sex with him. The police laughed in my face and told me I was a liar and I must have made him like that. I could not even get a restraining order. That was years ago but now my problem is I do not care about anything and feel like I am half alive and just waiting to die. Nothing makes me happy and I am not responsible enough to be on my own or have a relationship. I cannot stand the thought of someone touching me even though I try I cannot enjoy intimacy. I don't even feel connected to my child my parents or my friends anymore. I have to try and hide it but I don't care about anythong thay is going on and am not interseted in anything. I used to laugh and have some sense of feelings even when I was getting abused by so's but not anymore. Whats funny is I never mattered to anyone and I used to have hope that someday I could be in a happy normal relationship... Then I get stalked by a person who was obsessed with me and now I could care less and ignore the world around me like I used to be ignored. I feel sorry for my child that I am so distant its not fair to her but I don't really care about myself because there is no hope for me even with all the consuling and drugs. I only have bad memories and the only emotions I get is anger irritated but most of the time not even that. Once in a blue moon I cry to myself so noone will see and I try to pray to God to make me real again but that does not work either. The ony reason I don't think about killing myself is because of my daughter. Other than that Im a waste of space and a waste of a life.
thank you for this place I have been dealing with the results of a sociopath for years he stole my kids and i still can not visit my grandchildren often for my saftey. I am diagnosed with ptsd cause after 30 years he does not know where i am but how do you explain what it is like to have a crazy person control your life i alway say there should be a during traumatic disorder. anways for years i have been getting the best help i can but this sight has changed my thoughts there are others who have survived
SURVIVED
I wish i knew about sociopath. I have been so much pain . I am going througth PTSD is not easy.
Your story sounds similar to mine. I'm still in shock many months later. I can't believe I was so blind to another narcissist. They are pure evil and destroy other people's lives. As the article said I find it hard to comprehend that a person can be so lacking in basic morals. Good luck to you with your healing.
For so many years I've wondered why I cannot let go of the past. I cannot see straight at work, the grocery store, school or where ever. The symptoms of c-ptsd are so strikingly familiar to what I'm experiencing (reliving over and over, dreams, body aches, numbness, difficulty speaking etc.) and I feel that telling anyone about this will only lead people to the conclusion that I just want a pity party. My father was hugely narcissistic, and the mother of my child also has strong narcissistic traits. I've struggled through life from the beginning and lost everything and the people around me won't hear any explanation other than one that puts me at fault. My father denies past abuse and the mother of my child will do the same leading everyone around me to say that I'm just making up excuses. I'm clueless as to what to do about the situation all I know is that there seems to be no way out and no one believes me. Is this something other people experience as well? Where do you go to get help? How do you explain your situation without sounding overly dramatic?
Rick James
Make an appointment with a licensed trauma counselor or PTSD conversant therapist.
Don't worry about others - right now worry about you. C-PTSD has life long effects including serious health issues.
I have anixiety a lot and take medication for it. Narcissism and psychopathic people popped up when I typed in behaviors and anixiety. I read the characteristics of a person like this and my husband fits most of the signs. He's been abusive physically emotionally to me mostly and my oldest boy. He constantly calls me wanting to know what where with whom. Tells me I spend to much time with my kids and to consumed with them and my grand kids. I'm lucky to see them once a week. I'm scared to come home because he waits on me. When he leaves he's calling me before he gets out of the driveway and calls me several times a day. He tells me I'm not fit and ripped, but he constantly works out. Wants to hang out with people with power...omg I could go on and on. I'm scared, can't sleep, dread sex because its all his way. One day I hope I get the courage to leave but he can be violent. He has pointed guns at me to get what he wants in the past but has been years since he's done that. Everybody on the outside tells me I'm the luckiest women in the world to have a man like him, so know body will believe me.
When I left my scociopath my mind became more twisted. I have constant thoughts of him, the good and the bad. I feel like I don't know who I am or which direction to turn. I want to be left alone. I'm on anti depressants which help the non stop crying and the sleep. But I still have so many problems that I just can't deal with and when I read all of these stories I know it wasn't ME like he always said. I've been gone for 6 months now and I'm getting worse each day. He however has moved on to suck the life out of a new victim. And, we aren't even divorced yet. She is getting the sweet, charming, nice him right now. I've lived through 8 years and a whole cycle of his destructiveness That's hard to deal with too.
I have been finding it very difficult to put into words exactly how I'm feeling to my family after being the victim of a Narcissistic pervert, this really is a spot on description of every emotion I have felt/feel, thank you for helping to explain it to my loved ones
So I am married to a man that is in recovery for PTSD. I am constantly being bullied, called names, getting knocked around, etc... He tells me that I do not care and that I don't understand. He tells me that if I understood him, then I wouldn't be upset by his actions. The same abusive behavior he received from his ex-wife, he is asking me to endure from him. I can not do that, but I am at a loss as to what to do about it.
I have a very narcissistic father, and I believe a mother as well. They divorced rather quickly, and I was caught in the worst roller coaster of emotions growing up. I hated visiting my dad because he would always yell at me for not being the person he wanted me to be. He made me feel as though something was wrong with me not being a soccer player or going on sports teams. Up until now he uses the fact that I played video games as an excuse against me for any little thing I did wrong: if he gave me 25 chores to do and I forgot 1, he would go into a rage and try to make me feel guilty for not being good enough.
I am now forced to live with him to attend college. I thought he would get better, but he's not. I never felt love from him, and reading some information about narcissists online, I now know I never will. I can't wait until I graduate college and leave the state. Then, I'll be able to live my life without seeing him again. That's my dream. That's the only thing I can do. Right now I need to continue pleasing him (which is impossible) for the next two years for that to happen.
If you even think he is a Narcissist Run-and dont look back.
The damage is done before you have a clue.
You are nothing more than a source acquired for his little show-your value, talent, warm heart are first on his list to forget.
If you want to test him: disagree with his choice of restaurant, and that you have already seen that movie-exclude him from the focus of your (anyones) full attention. Advise you are.not.free on the day/time proposed.
Any act/word/opposing position will knock him off balance and he will resort to camouflaged flirting up until which time he regains control or determines you will be a challenge, not a wide eyed puppet....and you will be free. DONT LOOK BACK!!!!
What do I do to help my brother who is stuck in our narcissict home. He's 17 and I live with my aunt at 14. How do I help him see he is a victim so he will fight and leave their clutches?
You are not a waste of space and life. You took those words right our of my mouth but that was a few months ago. Like you, my rltnshp was bad,very bad. I was with a narcissist for 9 painful years. When I left I was in pain that I could feel physically when I cried. My bones would ache from emotional pain. I had no connection to anyone and I could function socially. O quit my job too coz it only added to the stress. I want to tell you that I stopped complaining, I realised that I had nothing more to lose, I had hit rock bottom and the only way out was to get up and out. I started reading up on how I was feeling (thank God for google), soaking up all advice I could find on emotional healing and I started to pray and meditate. Eventually, things started changing deep inside me especially after I realised that my low self esteem is what led to me getting attracted to the narcissist and attracted a lot of Narcissistic friends too. I started cutting off all the rotten people from my life starting with my ex husband. I did not give him any attention at all, I stopped taking my mothers adive on love (another story for another day) coz I knew she was sort of living her life through me and it was all about her image and not mine, I kept my own space, a quiet space without drama, I started focusing on my business and my general well being. What I have realised is that when you don't move on, you give the narcissist power and they thrive I tell you, when you do well and move on they are miserable and they start to fuck up. The narcissist wants you to fail. Get up and live, you only have one life. I hope you can hear my heart speaking to yours. Love and light.
My Narcissistic Ex made my life hell for 20 years and then tried to alienate me from my children and immediate family after I found the courage to leave him. Like with so many Narcissists, it was easy to achieve because he iwas so convincing and outwardly charming. using his money to buy people whilst claiming i was the agressor all along. I've been trying to rebuild my my life in the face of his open hostility (to me) and covert/passive aggressive hostility (in front of others). I will never forgive him for the lies he has fed about me to my children in order to control them, for the campaign of bullying and intimidation via a 3 year court case that he had no chance of winning but just did to cause me pain and financial ruin. (Luckily the Judge saw right through him and shamed him publicly ouch! the worst thing for him). For the lost time and precious memories every mother dreams of having with her children by wiping their memories of me and replacing them with 'false' ones. Now after discovering I have C-PTSD, I can finally make sense of why 13 years after divorce I have these symptoms.
I believe "what goes around comes around". He fell into a relationship with a woman who is a worse Narcissist than even he is and has made his life a misery. Trapped by his own device, she quickly worked out his weaknesses and then began sysyematically controlling and eventually manipulated him into getting engaged. (A £60k diamong ring says he loves her)!
Now he will spend the rest of his miserable life waking up next to an ageing closet alcoholic watching her drinking getting ever increasingly out of control, über-control freak who he can NEVER make happy and who will keep that 'choke chain' on him till he draws his last miserable breath. The marriage made in hell takes place on 29th June 2013 in Southend. I am planning a celebration of my own! May he rot in the hell of his own making.
It has been 5 months since I escaped my narcissistic abuser. I really had not idea thA I was in an un normal relationship. I started telling my family and close friends about something's thA had happened and they were mortified. My counselor keep say "remember he is a scary and dangerous man."
To me it feels like a movie that I watched happend. I don't feel any emotions about any of the events. I am starting to see how it changed my personality because I am starting to feel myself again.
I remember about a week after I left I went out with some friends. My parents watched my daughter. It had been the first time I had been out of the house in a long time for some fun. I had never laughed that much in such a long time. I felt like I was on a high.
There are things that have been happening lately that I have been having response to.. Random things people say, or do will set me off into a response. Most of the time I lash out at that person with something mean. It's only after I take the time to reflect that I understand why that set me off. Of course I apologize to the person and try to explain t them what conclusions I came up with...
I don't know if I will ever fully feel the pain of the emotional events I went through. Maybe it is better that way I don't know. I feel ashamed talking about it sometimes. People just don't understand. I don't even understand that I have been abused
His criminal case is coming up for his domestic violence. He is trying to fight it of course he thinks he did nothing wrong. I am having anxiety about seeing him. Also about what they might ask me on the stand. I feel like they are going to attack my character. Ugh!
I just hope for a future with less drama... Less stress... I know he will never change.
I'm reading this and sobbing, because it fits just about everything I'm experiencing to a T. I had a baby with a sociopath. My daughter is nearly 3 and I feel like everything is getting worse, even when I happened seen him for nearly a year. My brother suggested he was a sociopath and I thought that just meant a compulsive liar. When I did some reading, my blood ran cold. I'd happened upon an article shortly after she was born that talked about ptsd sufferers being very disturbed by background noise...and thought...hmmmm...I can't stand have the radio on in the car lately...a few other things in the article were familiar, but much of it was not. Even 3 years after the fact...I find myself EXTREMELY short-tempered with my daughter, I basically have temper tantrums over the slightest thing, I've start crying A LOT again lately, which I did for the first year and a half of her life, before I turned extremely angry and bitter. I constantly have "hate my life; (often said out loud in front of my daughter) wish I had the guts to blow my head off" or "wish a semi would t-bone me" thoughts. I can't stand being around people, even my daughter, but the thing that brought me here was my forgetfulness as of late. I forget the most routine of things. I'm starting to get in trouble at work because I'm forgetting tasks I do EVERY SINGLE day that are dire, I have had a package on my table for WEEKS I've meant to mail. I forget to bring my daughter's shoes to daycare just about every day....it goes on and on and on. I think I need some help, but I'm so broke and so short on time I don't know how. My dad and I just got into it last night and usually he tries really hard to be my champion and help me with finances without a question. Thanks for the article. I'm damn close to a panic attack right now, but now I know I'm not nuts for being such a mess...it sounds pretty normal for victims of these soul suckers.
My narcissist sociopath left a year of memories that I am still trying to dig out from. It will take a while and I would caution readers to know that these people have a long history of practice and are cunning. I would have never believed all that happened. Mental illness is real and must be taken seriously. If you are in a relationship with someone who exhibits signs that they can not cope with normal relational conversations. RUN. They will argue with you then turn on you for it. They will twist truth into a lie and blame everyone leaving a path of destruction. They will preach in a pulpit while separated and have relations with another separated woman. They will have affairs on their spouse with a 21 year old. They will view porn and create blame for it by saying it was their escape. They will charge you with every fault they have. They are dishonest and will lie before a Bible study saying they haven't drank since they were 15 but have Mike's Hard Lemonaide in their refrigerator. They will put you under a microscope and invade and take over your life only to throw you away when your role in their movie script is over. They will say they have no clue why their children won't talk them when in fact they do have a clue why. They were molested by their mom and you will be the whipping girl for their pain every moment you are around them. They will lie about you and come off as healed and self righteous using Bible verses to claim their wellness. They will post a blog about you saying you are the person who taught them compassion by being so horrible. Even when they get kicked out of your church they will still try to cause you pain through others. IT will NEVER END. DP
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