Sanctuary for the Abused

Sunday, March 04, 2018

Why Are Most Judgmental, Critical People So Critical and Judgmental?

Pull back the curtain on a critical, judgmental person and you’ll usually find this…

Everybody knows a few of them — arrogant people who think they’re always right about things and everyone else is wrong. To these people, nothing anyone else does is ever “right” or good enough.

But what’s usually behind the actions of the know-it-all, the finger-pointer, the high-horse rider, the snob, the harasser, the holier-than-thou, the name-caller, the assume-the-worst accuser,  the constant critic? Usually, the same thing…

Lack of empathy.

If you’re dealing with someone who just can’t see the possible value or meaning in your point of view, then you’re dealing with someone who cannot empathize well. People who cannot empathize cannot take on an alternate position and view things from another’s vantage point, and take on the perceptions and feelings that a person in that alternate position would have. If they could, they’d easily be able to see the reasons why their point of view is not the only valid one and stop claiming that everyone else is just “wrong”. People with low or no empathy also have a difficult time understanding or caring about the fact that insisting your thinking is wrong and valueless will hurt your feelings.

Many things affect a person’s ability to empathize or express empathy. Mental disorders and brain differences are the most likely culprit. Among the most vigorous criticizers and judgers are people with traits of the following personality disorders:

Narcissistic Personality Disorder – a mental disorder that is partially defined by a lack of empathy for others. Narcissists can be arrogant, insensitive, critical, self-centered and don’t like being questioned.

Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder – a mental disorder that makes its sufferers rigid, critical, fault-finding and demanding. Not surprisingly, the current considerations for the revised version of this disorder’s characteristics include difficulty empathizing.

Antisocial Personality Disorder (Psychopaths and Sociopaths) – another mental disorder partly characterized by insufficient empathy. Sociopaths (aka Psychopaths) can be cold, callous, sneaky, aggressive, conniving, and even dangerous.


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shared by Barbara at 12:52 AM



I have heard that ALL Sociopaths are narcissist, but NOT ALL narcissist are sociopaths.
I believe this to be true. And those who have been the victim of one will also understand this.
I have been dealing with a female narcissistic sociopath for the past 7 years. This person is my husbands ex wife.
I took me about a year to realize that we were dealing with a psychologically disturbed person. But once I understood that she was not just "mentally ill" or "manic depressive" as my husband believed her to be. I began researching how to deal with one. We have stopped responding to her, we no longer acknowledge her existence (as in doing so, it only encouraged her to torment us more)
Since we have had no contact in over 2 years, our life is finally able to be enjoyed. We no longer have the dreaded fear of getting the children on our weekends,due to the hell we would normally be subjected to by her. The kids are older (14 and 17) and we communicate directly thru them. we never speak negatively about the kids mother to them. Even tho she stills tells them how horrible we are (especially me, who she despises and blames for her now inability to control her ex husband)
The kids have confided in their dad that they see how their mother lies, never follows thru, and how she fights and can't get along with anyone in the family. They have also stated that even though they see the chaos their mom causes, that they still love her very much.
This to me means 2 things.
1. The children are loving and compassionate and well balanced, despite having a unstable, manipulate and downright evil mother. And I like to believe they have turned out ok because of the stability and love that their father and me have provided for them.
2. Sociopaths are such master manipulators, that even when people around them notice the pain and drama they cause, the people can't sever the connection to them, and will always be somewhat loyal to them. (This is probably due to the "poor me" victim role they are constantly playing)

8:32 AM  

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