Sanctuary for the Abused
Sunday, October 07, 2018
Do Narcissists KNOW?
"Do narcissists know what they're doing is wrong?"
"Do narcissists know they hurt you?"
"Do narcissists know they're doing bad things?"
"Do narcissists know what they do?"
Do... Narcissists... Know?!
This is by far the most common question asked about narcissists [ ]. Everybody wants to know if narcissists are aware of the pain they're causing, and whether or not they know their behavior is wrong.
People feel very differently about someone who chooses to do something hurtful that they know is wrong and someone who isn't aware that what they're doing is hurtful or wrong (or who doesn't do it on purpose).
Let's say you and a friend are jogging side by side when his foot catches yours and trips you up accidentally. He apologizes, asks if you're all right, helps you up and tells you he didn't mean it. You forgive him without a second thought, and you say it's okay.
But what if you were running alongside a competitor in a road race, and they tripped you to get ahead? You'd feel very differently about this person tripping you up than you felt about your clumsy friend, wouldn't you?
If a two year-old pushes another child down the stairs, we feel very differently about the toddler than we'd feel about a 12 year-old who did the same.
If a developmentally delayed person gets upset and yells at someone, we don't have the same reaction to that as we would to someone of average intelligence who does it.
We clearly have different expectations of - and responses to - people who do not truly know the pain they cause or at least do not cause it intentionally.
Narcissists do know wrong from right. If they didn't, they wouldn't hide their unfair actions like they frequently do. If you ask narcissists whether it's fair play to cut someone off in traffic or take credit for someone else's work, they'll easily be able to tell you it's not right. And if they do either of those things, they will attempt to hide the fact that they've done it. This is because they do know it's wrong, and they don't want to lose the admiration and respect of others who will think less of them for having done so.
However, the diagnosis of pathological narcissism involves the presence of insufficient empathy. Even though narcissists do know hurting someone's feelings is wrong, they still aren't capable of really empathizing very much with (and therefore, caring about) the person being hurt.
So when narcissists need an ego fix, they do what they know is wrong (like putting someone down), largely because they lack the empathy that should stop them. Then, because they are aware that what they did is wrong and that people will think less of them for it, they cover it up so they won't have to pay the consequences. (Narcissists don't like consequences. Those are for little people.)
So narcissists will do insensitive things to get their narcissistic supply, because they both want it so badly and because there's no empathy to make them feel for the people they're being unkind to. Then, because they are aware it's wrong and that it makes them wrong, they cover it up and (perhaps sometimes unconsciously) deny it, gaslighting and projecting their way out of responsibility so that nobody, including themselves, will see them as imperfect for having done it. (And if you see them as imperfect, then you're a serious problem, because as long as you're there to remind them they're not perfect, they'll have to think about the concept, and they just plain won't.)
So...
Do narcissists know they hurt you?
They know you're hurt, but they don't feel your hurt.
Do narcissists know what they're doing is wrong?
They know what wrong is, and they may do it, but they cannot accept the concept of being a person who does anything wrong, because that means they're not superior and perfect. So narcissists vehemently push away the information that they've done something hurtful. They do know what a hurtful act is, and yet they have to deny that they did it.
Narcissists use a number of different ways to deny their hurtful actions (and to try making you deny it along with them so you'll stop complaining). Blaming others, gaslighting, labeling someone who complains about them cruel, lying, making excuses and playing the martyr are a narcissist's typical responses. Whatever it takes to stop all recognition (by them and you) of the fact that they were inconsiderate can be expected.
So yes, narcissists are aware that they've hurt your feelings and that it's wrong, but they just cannot accept that knowledge. They deny it to prevent narcissistic injury, and desperately want you to deny it as well. And usually, they deny it so quickly and so habitually that it doesn't even register in their consciousness before the excuses and protests are given out.
Typically, when told they've hurt your feelings, a narcissist's denial takes the forms of insisting you're not hurt, or that you shouldn't be hurt, that you're wrong to be hurt, that they didn't hurt you, that you're too easily hurt, and that you shouldn't complain because they're hurt worse. Narcissists
Copyright 2009. Lights House
Labels: abuse, adult children of narcissists, blame shifting, gaslighting, hurt, lack of empathy, narcisissts, narcissism, pain, pathological, psychopathy
Monday, March 05, 2018
Poison: Verbal Abuse
"you fat ... ugly ... stupid ... moron ... c**t ... b***h ... whore... lazy ... skank ... slut ... idiot ... crazy ... psycho" (please add every obscene word you can think of here, in case I left any out).
"Shut your f**king mouth" (add any and every other way to tell another person to shut up here)
"No one in the entire world is interested in anything you think or say"
"I can't believe someone so "smart" can be so f***ing stupid"
"worthless piece of sh*t"
"no one would touch you..."
"you're a waste of human space..."
"you don't deserve to be: happy ... to live ... to have a child ... to go to school ..."
"don't you have any dreams??"
"she/he likes phone sex/ swinging/ kinky sex" (said to strangers)
"you got sick/ disabled/ injured on purpose to upset me"
"you have no idea what real work is"
"you used me & this marriage to get what you want"
"the marriage was a set up on your part, right?"
"you are a lousy mother"
"you are a sex maniac"
"you're frigid"
"you stink in bed..."
"she's obsessed with me... she's a stalker"
"I never loved you"
"I never said that"
"She's a scorned woman/ he's just jealous"
"That never happened"
"She's out to ruin my life..."
Lots and lots of vague, weird, threatening comments and cruel words said with sweet tones - lots of psychological games (murmuring "you ugly bitch" barely loud enough for me to hear, then denying it and claiming that I was "hearing things".)
Do you think that a NORMAL, RATIONAL PERSON
WOULD SAY THESE THINGS TO YOU?
Don't believe it!
Don't believe it!
Labels: abuse, blame, hurt, invalidation, lies, poison, verbal abuse, words
Saturday, December 09, 2017
Everything I've Done, I've Done for You
The 'other side' of the breakup.
by Tigress Luv
Abandoning those you love....
Yes, it hurts like hell to get dumped, abandoned, rejected, or left for another. You have given and given and given your all to a relationship... and what do you get in return? In return you get to have the person you were most attached to, willfully and purposely withdraw their love for you, and detach from you.
Getting abandoned sucks!
But, I am going to write to you right now via the perspective of being the one who does the abandoning. As a 'dumper'. Let me tell you, being the one that makes the decision to leave a relationship - well, that hurts like hell, too!
I am, at this moment, preparing to leave a man. And this guy is going to hurt like hell. And I know it. And I feel bad - I really, really do. And I know exactly what he is going to say - and I know how very true those words will be. He will say:
- "Everything I've done - I've done for you."
- "I give you everything I can."
- "I would always be faithful to you."
- "I care for you and worry about you."
- "I'm good to your children. I love them."
- "I love you so much I want to make you my wife."
- "I would never hurt you."
- "I only wanted you to be happy."
- "Your smile I live for."
And, he can honestly say to himself that these things are true - because they are true. But I am leaving him anyway. Here's why:
"Everything I've done - I've done for you." Yes, this is true.
You basically have become a love-slave.
You sacrificed your friendships, you see them no more - lest I get a life and visit my friends, too.
You quit your job - to make sure I didn't do anything or go anywhere while you were gone at work.
Every move you make - you make to keep me prisoner.
"I give you everything I can." Yes, you do.
- Unfortunately, because you have quit your job to 'watch over' me, I pay for it all out of my hard-earned money.
- I would rather pay the rent then have you buy me flowers with my money because you are 'sorry' about what you did 'last night'.
"I would always be faithful to you."
I've no doubt of that.
- You are so dependent on me that you can't even go to the service station without me on the passenger seat right next to you.
- Or is this because you are so hideously insecure that you can't 'trust' me to be alone for five minutes?
- Women are not 'cunts, whores, bitches, scorned, psychos and sluts that are having affairs if they can't account for every second that they are 'out of your sight'.
"I care for you and worry about you." How sweet.
- Like the time you knocked the doors off of the bedroom closet in a rage because I was too ill to have sex.
- The times you yelled at me and belittled me and made me feel weak and dirtied.
- You controlled my personal space and time.
- Your bedtime is not necessarily my bedtime.
"If you're having a bad day, I don't mind helping you with the housework, or letting it slide for a day." How kind of you. How truly, truly kind. I remember you vehemently vacuuming the living room (even though it didn't need it). I remember you coming home with the flu and a fever and having to wash the walls in the hallway because you thought 'I was having trouble breathing'. Yes, to the outside world this might have looked grand. But to me, who knows you well, it was an act of control and martyrdom. Translation: Instill guilt on me at every opportunity. Next time I'm having a bad day I will - for sure - clean your home.
"I love you so much I want to make you my wife." You want to make sure I'm unavailable to other men. If another man so much as looks at me, or talks to me, you rush over and shove your hand out to shake his, "nice to meet you. This is my girl you're talking to." Why don't you just lift your leg and piss on me?
"I would never hurt you." Too bad you can't remember what you do when you are drunk or high. Which is like 8 days a week.
"I only wanted you to be happy." Really? Yes, perhaps that's true.
- You wanted me to be happy 'owned' by you.
- You wanted me to be happy without any 'life' left in me.
- You wanted me to be happy in giving up my world and dying for you.
- You wanted me to be happily enslaved by you. If you truly wanted me to be happy, then why do you rule me, abuse me, hold me prisoner, use me, keep me?
- Why do you make me needy?
- Why do you steal all my options, all my freedom, all my independence, so I have to be totally dependent on you?
- Why do you deprave me of the very air I need to breathe?
- Why have you crushed my spirit?
- Why am I an empty shell where there once was life?
- Was not your point to enslave me psychologically? To have absolute and unrestricted control over me? To annihilate my self-esteem so I wouldn't leave you? To become more manageable of me?
"Your smile I live for." Then you must be blind or dead, because - in case you haven't noticed - I haven't smiled in months. I'm physically sick every day, and the constant stress and pressure - and fear - is only making me more ill. I fear I will die if I am here with you one more day. If you want me to be happy - if you want to see me smile - then you will let me leave you without you stalking me. You will set me free and set your heart free.
....As I write this I am having an anxiety attack - after a day of deep, defeating depression. This is what abuse does to you. It is so easy for people to say, "well leave..". They don't understand how your resources can so gradually be depleted you aren't even aware of it. They don't understand how the isolation can be so enveloping that you wake up one day and realize you haven't any friends left. They don't realize how the abuser can be so subtle and crafty that you become 'needy' before you're even aware of it. They just say, "why doesn't she walk..?" and then they get angry if you don't.
And you don't walk. Because.
Because...
* Denial - Some people truly don't believe they are being abused.
* Financial - Not only do most women make less money than a man, a lot of abused women can't work because their partner won't let them. Abusers, too, withhold money, checking account, credit cards, etc, . leaving the abused financially needy, taking away important resources needed for her to leave. This issue is compounded when there are children involved.
* Fear - Making threats to kill or harm the abused party, pets, or family members - should an abused woman chose to leave - is a very effective method abusers use to keep someone in a relationship, which is the goal of the abuser. She may feel, "why leave? He'll just hunt me down and kill me." Also, threatening suicide is a common method the abuser uses to 'keep' his victim. She really, truly does not want to feel responsible for another's pain or death.
* Love - Most people want their relationships to work. Hope that things will improve, or believing promises of 'change', keep many women in abusive relationships.
* Children - It is important for children to have good relationships with their father. Most women are compelled to try and hold the family together, innocently unaware that the abusive atmosphere is actually having an adverse affecte on her children.
* Religion - Many religions discourage divorce. Verse has it that a woman that leaves her husband is a prostitute, and any remarriage is adultery.
* External Pressures (family, church) - Yes! Abusers are - surprisingly - very well-liked. That's because most abusers are master charmers and bull-shitters. "He was such a nice man." The abuser has two faces: public and private.
* No place to go - Sometimes, by the time a woman admits or realizes the abuse, her abuser has already succeeded in isolating her from her family, friends, financial resources, and transportation.
* The Abuser's Main Goal is to Make the Abused Feel Worthless - This is to ensure that she will stay with him. As many abused women state, "no one else would ever love me. I am a miserable failure. Ugly, stupid, bad lover, can't cook, lousy mother..." "I deserve this abuse, I am a bad person. It's all my fault."
* She's Too Compassionate - The abuser can really come off as a pathetic lost child - so misunderstood. A compassionate woman often stays with an abuser because she feels so sorry for him. "No one else understands him the way I do."
* She Mistakes His Abuse for Love - Face it, who could ever love you so intensely and consuming as the abuser can? Sometimes the abuse actually feels good! This is one of those 'unadmitted' facts about abuse, that the intense jealousy and need someone has on you is actually an ego boost! "Wow - does he love me! I must be great and no where else could I find someone who will ever love me this deeply. I am wonderful!" Ugh!!!
Yes, I am about to abandon my man. And yes, he will grieve. And yes, he may find a breakup board, or a grief board, and write a post that says something like this:
"My love of my life just left me. I am so devastated. How will I survive? I love her. Everything I did - I did for her. I gave her everything I could. I never would have cheated on that woman, I loved her so much. I worried about her. I loved her children. I miss them so much. I miss her too. This is terrible. What could have gone wrong? I was so good to her. I wanted her to be my wife. I never would have hurt her. I only wanted her to be happy. How can I go on, when I lived for her smile? Oh, won't someone please help?"
And he will sound like a truly great man, grief-stricken by the woman he loved so much.
Don't think this doesn't hurt me - the abandoner. It hurts like hell. But I won't die for love.
I need to breathe again. To smile again. To not be sick and live in fear. I need to stop walking around on egg-shells. I need to feel safe, and accepted, and trusted, and I need to feel like I am giving my love freely - not like it is being coerced out of me by threats and guilt and fear.
It's not just the abandoned that hurt.
~~Tigress Luv
NOTE: To all who have answered this -
Thank you for your show of support! Abuse is the unbelievable psychological horror.
You can't help but initially fall in love with the abuser (before the abuse becomes evident) - abusers can be such charmers! They are the extreme of both Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde - however Mr. Hyde is well-hidden in the initial stages of the relationship.
You almost become addicted to their intense love, but before you realize you are being abused you are suckered into the life. Abuse is so subtle, and sneaks up on you so inconspicuously, that you aren't even aware of the abuse.
I know I wasn't in the beginning. I just told myself, 'he's moody' 'he's worried', 'something happened at work' 'his first wife made him distrustful' etc.
But then you just wake up one morning and realize your 'innocent zest' for life - your beautiful free spirit - exists no more. And you feel empty and without hope and joy. Your eyes betray your false show of cheerfulness around your children/co-workers/friends. Your shoulders sag, and you have become hypervigilent to EVERYTHING!
Thank you for your words.
Tigress Luv
ORIGINAL ARTICLE HERE
Labels: abandonment, abused, denial, depressed, hurt, narcissist, psychopath, sociopath, stalking, threats, toxic hope, trapped, two-faced, worthless
Thursday, September 14, 2017
Verbal & Emotional Abuse
DEFINITIONS OF VERBAL & EMOTIONAL ABUSE
- You understand their feelings, but they never attempt to understand yours;
- They dismiss your difficulties or issues as unimportant or an overreaction;
- They do not listen to you;
- They always put their needs before yours;
- They expect you to perform tasks that you find unpleasant or humiliating;
- You "walk on eggshells" in an effort not to upset them;
- They ignore logic and prefer amateur theatrics in order to remain the centre of attention;
- Instead manipulate you into feeling guilty for things that have nothing to do with you;
- They attempt to destroy any outside support you receive by belittling the people/ service/ practice in an attempt to retain exclusive control over your emotions;
- They never take responsibility for hurting others;
- They blame everyone and everything else for any unfortunate events in their lives;
- They perceive themselves as martyrs or victims and constantly expect preferential treatment.
Copyright 2002 Abuse List.
*************************
WHAT IS EMOTIONAL ABUSE?
There is no universally accepted definition of emotional abuse. Like other forms of violence in relationships, emotional abuse is based on power and control. The following are widely recognized as forms of emotional abuse:
rejecting
- refusing to acknowledge a person's presence, value or worth; communicating to a person that she or he is useless or inferior; devaluing her/his thoughts and feelings. Example: repeatedly treating a child differently from siblings in a way that suggests resentment, rejection or dislike for the child.
degrading
- insulting, ridiculing, name calling, imitating and infantilizing; behaviour which diminishes the identity, dignity and self-worth of the person. Examples: yelling, swearing, publicly humiliating or labelling a person as stupid; mimicking a person's disability; treating a senior as if she or he cannot make decisions.
terrorizing
- inducing terror or extreme fear in a person; coercing by intimidation; placing or threatening to place a person in an unfit or dangerous environment. Examples: forcing a child to watch violent acts toward other family members or pets; threatening to leave, physically hurt or kill a person, pets or people she / he cares about; threatening to destroy a person's possessions; threatening to have a person deported or put in an institution; stalking.
isolating
- physical confinement; restricting normal contact with others; limiting freedom within a person's own environment. Examples: excluding a senior from participating in decisions about her or his own life; locking a child in a closet or room alone; refusing a female partner or senior access to her or his own money and financial affairs; withholding contact with grandchildren; depriving a person of mobility aids or transportation.
corrupting/exploiting
- socializing a person into accepting ideas or behaviour which oppose legal standards; using a person for advantage or profit; training a child to serve the interests of the abuser and not of the child. Examples: child sexual abuse; permitting a child to use alcohol or drugs or see pornography; enticing a person into the sex trade.
denying emotional responsiveness
- failing to provide care in a sensitive and responsive manner; being detached and uninvolved; interacting only when necessary; ignoring a person's mental health needs. Examples: ignoring a child's attempt to interact; failing to show affection, caring and / or love for a child; treating a senior who lives in an institution as though she / he is an object or "a job to be done."
- Emotional abuse accompanies other forms of abuse, but also may occur on its own;
- No abuse - neglect, physical, sexual or financial - can occur without psychological consequences. Therefore all abuse contains elements of emotional abuse;
- Emotional abuse follows a pattern; it is repeated and sustained. If left unchecked, abuse does not get better over time. It only gets worse;
- Like other forms of violence in relationships, those who hold the least power and resources in society, for example, women and children, are most often emotionally abused;
- Emotional abuse can severely damage a person's sense of self-worth and perception;
- In children, emotional abuse can impair psychological development, including: intelligence, memory, recognition, perception, attention, imagination and moral development; and
- Emotional abuse can also affect a child's social development and may result in an impaired ability to perceive, feel, understand and express emotions.
HOW WIDESPREAD IS EMOTIONAL ABUSE?
Only a few studies provide insight about the prevalence of emotional abuse. Emotional abuse is difficult to research because:
- Its effects have only recently been recognized;
- There are no consistent definitions and it is hard to define;
- It is difficult to detect, assess and substantiate; and
- Many cases of emotional abuse go unreported.
- Chronic verbal aggression ranked as the second most prevalent form of mistreatment following material abuse.
FACTS TO CONSIDER
Emotional abuse of children can result in serious emotional and/or behavioural problems, including depression, lack of attachment or emotional bond to a parent or guardian, low cognitive ability and educational achievement, and poor social skills.
One study which looked at emotionally abused children in infancy and then again during their preschool years consistently found them to be angry, uncooperative and unattached to their primary caregiver. The children also lacked creativity, persistence and enthusiasm.
Children who experience rejection are more likely than accepted children to exhibit hostility, aggressive or passive-aggressive behaviour, to be extremely dependent, to have negative opinions of themselves and their abilities, to be emotionally unstable or unresponsive, and to have a negative perception of the world around them.
Parental verbal aggression (e.g., yelling, insulting) or symbolic aggression (e.g., slamming a door, giving the silent treatment) toward children can have serious consequences. Children who experience these forms of abuse demonstrate higher rates of physical aggressiveness, delinquency and interpersonal problems than other children. Children whose parents are additionally physically abusive are even more likely to experience such difficulties.
Children who see or hear their mothers being abused are victims of emotional abuse.
Growing up in such an environment is terrifying and severely affects a child's psychological and social development. Male children may learn to model violent behaviour while female children may learn that being abused is a normal part of relationships. This contributes to the intergenerational cycle of violence.
Many women in physically abusive relationships feel that the emotional abuse is more severely debilitating than the physical abuse in the relationship.
Repeated verbal abuse such as blaming, ridiculing, insulting, swearing, yelling and humiliation has long-term negative effects on a woman's self-esteem and contributes to feelings of uselessness, worthlessness and self-blame.
Threatening to kill or physically harm a female partner, her children, other family members or pets establishes dominance and coercive power on the part of the abuser. The female partner feels extreme terror, vulnerability and powerlessness within the relationship. This type of emotional abuse can make an abused woman feel helpless and isolated.
Jealousy, possessiveness and interrogation about whereabouts and activities are controlling behaviours which can severely restrict a female partner's independence and freedom. Social and financial isolation may leave her dependent upon the abuser for social contact money and the necessities of life.
Emotional abuse can have serious physical and psychological consequences for women, including severe depression, anxiety, persistent headaches, back and limb problems, and stomach problems.
Women who are psychologically abused but not physically abused are five times more likely to misuse alcohol than women who have not experienced abuse.
Senior abuse is still a new issue and there is still little research in this field on emotional abuse.
We do know that senior emotional abuse and neglect can be personal or systemic and that it occurs in a variety of relationships and settings, including abuse by:
- a partner;
- adult children or other relatives;
- unrelated, formal or informal caregivers; or
- someone in a position of trust.
Seniors who are emotionally abused may experience feelings of extreme inadequacy, guilt, low self-esteem, symptoms of depression, fear of failure, powerlessness or hopelessness. These signs may be easily confused with loss of mental capability so that a senior may be labelled as "senile" or "incapable" when in fact she or he may be being emotionally abused.
Abusers may often outwardly display anger and resentment toward the senior in the company of others. They may also display a complete lack of respect or concern for the senior by repeatedly interrupting or publicly humiliating her or him. Not taking into account a senior's wishes concerning decisions about her or his own life is an outward sign of abuse.
DETECTING EMOTIONAL ABUSE
Emotional abuse may be difficult to detect. However, personal awareness and understanding of the issue is key to recognizing it. The following indicators may assist in detecting emotional abuse.
possible indicators of emotional abuse
- depression;
- withdrawal;
- low self-esteem;
- severe anxiety;
- fearfulness;
- failure to thrive in infancy;
- aggression;
- emotional instability;
- sleep disturbances;
- physical complaints with no medical basis;
- inappropriate behaviour for age or development;
- overly passive/compliant;
- suicide attempts or discussion;
- extreme dependence;
- underachievement;
- inability to trust;
- stealing;
- other forms of abuse present or suspected;
- feelings of shame and guilt;
- frequent crying;
- self-blame/self-depreciation;
- overly passive/compliant;
- delay or refusal of medical treatment;
- discomfort or nervousness around caregiver or relative;
- substance abuse; and
- avoidance of eye contact.
LEGAL INTERVENTION
Legal intervention in cases of child emotional abuse and neglect is governed by provincial and territorial child protection legislation.
All jurisdictions require that alleged or suspected child emotional abuse or neglect be reported to child protection authorities or the police. In some jurisdictions, failure to report child emotional abuse or neglect may result in a fine or imprisonment.
Emotionally abusive behaviour such as repeatedly following the other person or someone known to her or him; repeatedly communicating, directly or indirectly, with the other person or someone known to her or him; harassing the other person with telephone calls; besetting or watching the other person's house or place of work; and / or engaging in threatening conduct directed at the other person or a member of her or his family is criminal harassment.
These behaviours must cause a person to fear for her or his safety or the safety of someone she or he knows.
Other forms of emotional abuse such as insulting, isolating, infantilizing, humiliating, and ignoring, although serious, are not criminal behaviours and cannot be prosecuted.
WHAT CAN YOU DO?
If you are being abused, remember:
-You are not alone;
- It is not your fault;
- No one ever deserves to be abused; and
- Help is available.
if you suspect/know someone is being abused
- Listen;
- Believe;
- Support;
- Let the person know about available support services; and
- Report suspected or known child abuse or neglect to a child welfare agency or the police.
if you are a service provider:
Work with other organizations to:
- Increase awareness of emotional abuse;
- Address the needs of those who have been or are being emotionally abused; and
- Keep informed of resources and materials relating to intervention and prevention of abuse.
support
Services:
- 24 hour help-line or distress line;
- transition house or shelter;
- social service agency;
- child welfare or family services agency;
- police;
- legal aid service;
- health professional (e.g., nurse, doctor, dentist);
- community health centre;
- public health department;
- community counselling centre;
- home support agency;
- seniors' centre;
- community living association;
- friendship centre;
- religious/spiritual organization.
THE PSYCHOLOGY OF ABUSIVE MEN
72% of American suicides are committed by white males; black men prefer homicide. (This suggests white men blame themselves and black men blame others: white neurotics, black psychotics.) Prisons overflow with men, and juvenile detention centers teem with boys; remedial readers are, in 90% of cases, male, as are those diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder, substance abusers, and the violent. Rates of injury are three times as high for males. The lives of men are eroded by frustration inhibition perversion.
A white collar drug addict remarked: My work is so boring that it's really hard to do it if you're not hung-over in some way. My friend tried to not do drugs for a while and he was, like, "This is a nightmare! I have to sleep eight hours a day! I'm tired all the time! I wake up and it takes me three hours to get up, and then I'm tired in the afternoon."
Men are dying of loneliness, and no one knows.
- from The Eclipse: A Memoir of Suicide by Antonella Gambotto
Labels: definitions, emotional abuse, hurt, liars, male, verbal abuse, women
